#spoonieproblems

No pressure to go out, see people, be social.

Loads of fun events happening online so you can participate without losing too many spoons.

People openly talking about their mental health.

When you do go out, noone bumps you or gets uncomfortably close.

For those who struggle with germs on a daily basus, everyone understands when you wear a mask and gloves to shop instead of assuming you are some kind of freak.

When you become chronically ill, you have no choice but to allow and take adjustments in your life. You become a different person, both to yourself and to others. Life in itself is suddenly a completely different game that you don't know how to play and noone is there to teach you. You have to adjust to a new way of living, a new way of feeling, both emotionally and physically, a new way of how people see and respond to you. You have to get used to feeling bitterness, sadness, anger, in a way you didn't feel before and you have to get used to fighting, for everything. Everything changes, from the way you sleep, to your mobility, to your ability to do a job that you love and are good at, just everything. I have had to accept that the anger towards my illness and disability, to how society views it, has made me mess up a lot of things that are really important to me.

It is hard to adjust to people being well meaning or sincere, whilst being ableist or ignorant at the same time. It is hard to adjust to the fact that if you point out peoples ableism or ignorance, it becomes somehow another flaw in your own personality. It is hard to adjust to the fact that you are often completely alone in your battles. You are somehow expected to stay happy, to control your emotions, to not finally snap at the things that hurt you emotionally, when you have forgotton what not being in pain feels like, when you haven't slept for more than an hour for days, when you are on medications that bring about more symptoms and when you are trying to balance your general wellbeing, your family life, your work, your medical appointments and the emotional upheaval of it all. .

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A black and white photo showing a small section of building above an archway with a sign for the NHS hospital 'The National Hospital for Neurology and Neurosurgery'.