#overt did

I'm also not what people expect from overt. I don't sign off things. I don't talk about my system. I'm not "out" irl. I'm not that stereotype.

If you're around me irl you'll notice my differences and when alters switch. These things are noticible. But the thing is that they don't introduce themselves. They don't suddenly say they're a different alter or announce their name. Just like I have as the host they've accepted that this is just my life.

People around me don't know I have DID unless I tell them. Instead they say I'm weird or unstable or unreliable. If they know what DID is they'll probably pick up on it but most people don't know what DID is and won't pick up on it.

I've lost friendships because of my DID. Because it's overt.

I don't fit into the stereotype overt system that people have their head. I don't have the tv overt system that people think of. It's not dramatacized. My overt DID doesn't present like "Split."

We've always found that our DID has been overt, though we do have the ability to mask. Our presentation from internal to other internal differentiates a lot with noticable voice changes for a lot of us and different ways we use our body language.

For example, Blake hates that they're part of a system and when they're out they prefer to pretend to be the host. Though Blake and the host are similar, the people around us can tell something is up and Blake normally would have to come clean that they're not the host.

When we are masking, when we are hiding our DID we are either in two states. Completely silent and nonverbal as to not accidentally reveal anything we will regret later or we are simply lying, putting on a false persona that seems more presentable.

Being an overt system when the majority of systems are covert can be very isolating and it can feel like there's really no place for us, even alongside other systems. All we ever want is to be ourselves freely, not having to worry about changing our voices to sound more like the host, not having to worry about "is this something the host would say?" just to be freely ourselves with no judgement.

*Please note: This isn’t an actual term*

Why is it that symptoms of DID/OSDD can be so obvious to yourself and those close to you, while remaining completely non-suspicious to others around you?

Think of it this way: You are a witch. But no one is going around looking for witches, no one is going around suspecting people of being witches. Sure, you have a herb garden and a black cat, you wear black dresses, and you love going for strolls in the forest under the full moon’s light. But very very few people would actually truly believe you are a witch. Other people’s responses would likely be “that’s just the way she is”, “oh that spooky goth bitch is at it again”, or even “lol. What are you, a witch or something? Hahaha!”. An actual witch might see you and conclude that you are a witch, but that same witch might see a non-witch who just happens to enjoy moonlit strolls with her cat, and conclude that she also must be a witch. Likewise, in everyday life the majority of people aren’t out there looking for people with DID/OSDD, or carefully observing every single person to check for signs of DID/OSDD. You can be out there with obvious symptoms, and successfully just wave them away as “memory problems”, “mood swings”, “poor time management”, “inconsistent beliefs” etc. Even people who see you every day, and notice these symptoms are likely to write them off as “That’s just the way they are”, “Maybe they have (insert common mental health issue here)”, or joke about you having “multiple personalities”. (Of course some people will dismiss these symptoms as “laziness”, “rudeness”, “being inconsiderate”, “wishy-washy”, or other cruel and dismissive explanations.) Even when you think that your system seems extremely overt, and even if you feel as though at any moment someone is going to realise that you have DID/OSDD... the more likely outcome is that everyone around you has just accepted that those obvious symptoms are “just the way you are”. (There are exceptions of course.) Humans want to identify with each other. The social rules of our species mean that we rationalise phenomena that we ourselves don’t experience. The result is that “covert DID/OSDD” doesn’t need to be all that subtle in order to protect you. A lot of people worry themselves over whether their DID/OSDD is overt or covert, not really understanding just how obvious your DID/OSDD can be before it’s no longer covert.

The important thing is to make sure that you are safe.

Other than keeping you safe, overt vs covert doesn’t actually matter all that much.

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How does it affect your day to day life?

Pretty harshly I would say. I still have pretty bad amnesia so I don't have full examples but amnesia is still a really big symptom of mine and it's overt enough that anyone would be able to tell. Who I am changes anywhere from one to six times a day, usually it's noticable by other people, fortunately most people are uneducated on DID and just think I'm acting weird, though sometimes I've had someone tell me it's like interacting with multiple people. However I've been told it's pretty easy to spot if you know even a smidge about DID.

How does it influence your interactions with friends/family?

My family and friends have both figured it out and haven't. I think my family is in denial and last time I told a friend they just told me they already knew. I'm considered unreliable and inconsistent. Amnesia causes me to forget who these people are a lot, and I struggle to hide my amnesia. My old friends stopped talking to me because of my overt symptoms, they weren't able to understand how I could act like multiple people in the same day and why none of lined up, even after I explained that I have DID.

Is your presentation like the online overt systems?

No. Even covert systems can appear overt online based on what they choose to and not to share. Overt in person looks incredibly different. For starters we don't identify ourselves immediately after meeting someone. We don't tell people about our DID. For the most part we all accept the host's life and follow along with that even though it feels uncomfortable a lot of the time cause we're so dissociated away from that life.

How does overt DID look different than covert DID?

Overt DID is a lack of being able to mask. I can't mask ever. My alters are always going to be themselves because they don't know or understand how to act like me. There's strong differences in personality that I simply cannot hide. There's too much amnesia for me to know who I (as a collective) am so we can't all mask as the same person. People with covert DID are able to mask and can even identify with one identity in public.

How do you define masking in this scenario?

When I say I can't mask I mean that I don't have the ability to have it present subtly. I do not mean it in the purposeful hiding of myself sense. Though I can't do that either.

Do you have a collective identity?

No. I'm not able to have one. I've tried but masking as one identity is impossible to do. Fortunately I haven't been switching as often recently so it's easier to hide at the moment.

Do peers notice when other alters are fronting?

Yes. Usually they're able to figure it out before I do. People who've known in the past usually ask me if I've switched or even called the alter out by name. They realize I've switched far faster than it takes me to realize. People who don't know I have DID just say that I'm acting weird or different and ask if everything is okay.

Do you like going by different names at different times?

Yes! Though that's based on personal preference. Some alters really like going by their own names, while others are content identifying with the collective name. Usually though they only go by their own name around people who know about our DID (so one person) and people who we'll never see again. There's still a level of protection we must take.

Do alters speak differently?

Yes! This is one of the things that tips people off. It's not accents though. Very few of us have accents (though the ones who do struggle to hide them). But we all have different ways of talking. Different pitches and cadence. We use different slang.

Do alters dress differently?

Unfortunately whoever wakes up in the morning gets to choose the outfit and that sometimes means finding myself dressed up all goth or punk. Sometimes I even look very feminine that day and I'm a very masculine person. It used to be worse. Back when I owned dresses (sentimental ones, like my aunts wedding or my 8th grade formal) I had an alter who loved to wear them. It made me super dysphoric every time I switched out and was wearing a dress. People notice when I have a sudden change of style but I've been mostly able to play it off as "I just feel very punk/goth/feminine today for some reason."