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Sorry I have NOT been posting on This because Apparently I have been Booted from the System???? Everyone in The Brain just deleted my Logs and stopped acknowledging me or letting me front because I am Too Embarrasing an alter to tell our therapist about? Can this Happen.
Sorry for Lack of Whimsy this post I hope this image makes up for it
Bonus . Pointy head one for pointy head Mister Nobody Truthers under the cut ✂️ if you are on my blog for Mister Nobody Content
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30 Days of DID, Day Seventeen: Who’s an alter you’re interested in knowing more about or befriending? Which alter do you know best?
I’m friends with all the other parts! I’m close with everyone already. We are one person and 15 people at the same time; we share thoughts, feelings, emotions.
While I guess I’m not as close friends with, say, Numb or something, I’m still close enough to know what he’s thinking or saying.
I know Roy the best, but that’s not saying much! He’s just the one I spend the most time with innerworld, and the one I’ve joined with before, so we clearly mesh well.
It’s always weird, being further in recovery with questions like these. I’m glad I can at least share my recovery process and show that things won’t stay the same forever; you can grow closer with all your parts.
Me and Brandon aren't actually siblings but I see him as one
ITS STUCK IN MY HEAD
I... don't... CARE!!!!!! [I shout so loudly that it lets our a shockwave that sends all the tables and chairs flying backwards into the walls and all the bystanders are also knocked off their feet and sent crashing to the ground.]
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something that happens in our system is that a part will throw images of a Microsoft software box like the way they used to look in the 90s during the early CDROM era at the alter fronting. The Microsoft "product" is usually a type of trauma and the "features" are the terrible effects that type of trauma will have on your "computer".
A lot of them are way too trauma/vent art to post about. I think it is a trauma holder doing this and it is their sort of "haha dark humour" coping mechanism, but the way internal communication is in our system there is no way to find out who is sending images to front or speaking in the head.
Computer related ones occasionally turn up too eg a cd burning software called "Microsoft Piracy" and the box art is a sailing ship.
I can tell which ones are trauma the body went through because i generally feel really sick when those ones turn up.
It feels right to try to make designs of some of these on the computer. I have zero artistic ability though.
knowing that plenty of people who later get diagnosed with DID present with depression and self-harm/suicidal ideation that hasn't been improved by medication makes me feel less alone but it certainly doesn't make me feel better. i feel like depression is so normalized and downplayed by society when it's like this shit has ruined parts of my life time and time again, and it's nearly taken my life away from me completely. i am not just really sad or down. my self-esteem is obliterated. nothing that i know i should enjoy doing brings me joy. i have no motivation except when i'm so anxious i can't function without doing something about it. i'm convinced everyone who cares about me or thinks i have worth or talent is either lying or being tricked by me. and no matter how many meds i'm put on and how many sessions of therapy i go to, nothing changes. i always end up back here.
