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Would the crowd (the exactly 4 people who interact with me) enjoy the idea of a system specific vent / confessions account for like...administration type alters (thinking gatekeepers, watchers, archivists, some protectors?) I think ive seen a few accounts for other roles SEPARATELY but ive never seen like- a vent / confessions acc for a genre(?) Of alter roles.
Obviously I'd have pretty tight rules & anon will be on but idk if theres ACTUALLY a market for this type of stuff? Lmao
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Multiple of our alters have returned to an extreme state of denial because we recently had our first assessment that was slightly related to DID and the collage student who was doing the assessments said we didn't have DID. We've done a lot of research on DID and we literally have hit every single symptom in the DSM-5 so we're like 90% sure we're a DID system. But our alters really don't get the idea that maybe an assessment that wasn't even originally for DID might be wrong when it comes to trying to see if we have DID. I don't know what to do, I firmly believe it wasn't a intense statement because it was originally an assessment for another disorder and many systems have had to see multiple doctors before getting a diagnosis but I'm still worried. I'm scared we might never explore the idea of a diagnosis again..
[PT: Welcome! Please, take a seat.]
Assessments aren't 100% perfect for a few reasons: (1), the assessor may not fully understand the disorder (for example, believing that there's one specific type of trauma that may result in a CDD) and (2), they may not have the full scope of your symptoms, especially more covert ones. This does not mean assessments should be done away with completely, but it is worth keeping in mind.
Like you said, it can take a lot of time, effort, and money to get a proper diagnosis. There's a lot of misinformation out there, and even professionals are liable to fall victim to it. While they are a better source of information than the layman, getting the opinion of someone who specializes in dissociative disorders would be an even better one. If your dentist told you that you don't have arthritis, you'd want a second opinion from someone who specializes in that before knocking that off the list of what might be wrong.
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30 Days of DID, Day Seventeen: Who’s an alter you’re interested in knowing more about or befriending? Which alter do you know best?
I’m friends with all the other parts! I’m close with everyone already. We are one person and 15 people at the same time; we share thoughts, feelings, emotions.
While I guess I’m not as close friends with, say, Numb or something, I’m still close enough to know what he’s thinking or saying.
I know Roy the best, but that’s not saying much! He’s just the one I spend the most time with innerworld, and the one I’ve joined with before, so we clearly mesh well.
It’s always weird, being further in recovery with questions like these. I’m glad I can at least share my recovery process and show that things won’t stay the same forever; you can grow closer with all your parts.
Hello! So I have a lot of "not fictives, actually brainmades, but take form of Midia character" alters (does this makes sense??), almost all of them, and we have this thing that we can't actually tell when is a introject/fictive or not, specially that most of my alters are like this. Do you have any help for that
[PT: Welcome! Please, take a seat.]
I'm not certain what kind of advice you're searching for, but this is very normal! Not every introject functions the same way. Aspects of personality, appearance, etc. may often vary from one's source ^^
[PT: The owner of this blog is anti-endo, anti-radqueer, and anti-proship. If you are a supporter of these, kindly do not interact!]
disordered system culture is having trauma and dissociation and memory gaps but the alters didn’t form from that so we feel excluded from posts abt dissociation and trauma made by anti-endogenic traumatic systems˶ˊᜊˋ˶
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i often forget about my sexual trauma, so much so that any time i get triggered i am deeply confused, i don't know why, why this topic?? but it's because I have that trauma. the one i keep forgetting about. i mean i understand, my brain is literally wired to forget that this happened to me, but i still find myself doubting my reality whenever i realise that i've forgotten again(remembered again) (forgotten again)(again) (again)
30 Days of DID, Day Sixteen: Where, as a system, is the safest place for you? Why?
That’s a pretty loaded question, with a lot of complicated nuanced answers honestly.
On one hand, the first place to come to mind was the safe place we developed for our EMDR therapy. Something in me doesn’t want to share it here for some reason; it feels too personal, or like sharing it would decrease the safety. But needless to say, that place? Fantastic. (And fascinating to comprehend, since it’s NOT part of our innerworld).
On another hand, I also thought of my spouse. Regardless of where I am, or how I feel — even if I feel unsafe — I logically know myself to be safe when I’m with them! They’re my everything, and they’ve done so much to help me understand I’m safe, loved, and cherished unconditionally.
On a third, biologically improbable hand, my innerworld is incredibly safe in the fact that we’re incapable of death here. Trust me, we’ve tried!! Well some of us have. And it just doesn’t stick! There’s also 14 other chucklefucks in here at any given time, so it’s kinda hard to go suffer alone in silence. SOMEone’ll check on you!
On a fourth hand (that’s likely a foot at this point given how human bodies work), I think it might be my home. I bought it. It’s mine. Nobody is taking that from me. Even if my abusers show up at my door, they can’t take my ownership away. It’s very freeing.
There’s so many different ways I’m safe now, and it all comes down to feeling capable in some way, at the end of the day. My EMDR safe space makes me feel like I’m capable of creating beautiful things. My spouse makes me feel capable of asking for help, even when it’s hard. My innerworld makes me feel capable of relying on myself. And my home makes me feel capable in the capitalist society that drags us down.
