30 Days of DID, Day Sixteen: Where, as a system, is the safest place for you? Why?
That’s a pretty loaded question, with a lot of complicated nuanced answers honestly.
On one hand, the first place to come to mind was the safe place we developed for our EMDR therapy. Something in me doesn’t want to share it here for some reason; it feels too personal, or like sharing it would decrease the safety. But needless to say, that place? Fantastic. (And fascinating to comprehend, since it’s NOT part of our innerworld).
On another hand, I also thought of my spouse. Regardless of where I am, or how I feel — even if I feel unsafe — I logically know myself to be safe when I’m with them! They’re my everything, and they’ve done so much to help me understand I’m safe, loved, and cherished unconditionally.
On a third, biologically improbable hand, my innerworld is incredibly safe in the fact that we’re incapable of death here. Trust me, we’ve tried!! Well some of us have. And it just doesn’t stick! There’s also 14 other chucklefucks in here at any given time, so it’s kinda hard to go suffer alone in silence. SOMEone’ll check on you!
On a fourth hand (that’s likely a foot at this point given how human bodies work), I think it might be my home. I bought it. It’s mine. Nobody is taking that from me. Even if my abusers show up at my door, they can’t take my ownership away. It’s very freeing.
There’s so many different ways I’m safe now, and it all comes down to feeling capable in some way, at the end of the day. My EMDR safe space makes me feel like I’m capable of creating beautiful things. My spouse makes me feel capable of asking for help, even when it’s hard. My innerworld makes me feel capable of relying on myself. And my home makes me feel capable in the capitalist society that drags us down.