#nonbinary transmasc

Being androgynous doesn't get us treated better or more seriously than other nonbinary people. There's no nonbinary/androgyonus gender role. We're still seen as an aesthetic, mental illness, ideology. In fact, we're often more visibly queer and trans than fem-aligned and masc-aligned people.

We're a minority in a minority in a minority. Most nonbinary representation is, in fact, not androgynous.

trans men/mascs deserve to defend ourselves

trans men/mascs deserve self expression

trans men/mascs deserve love

trans men/mascs deserve joy

Specifically the version from the 90s anime where he's crying and sobbing to his mother, who treats him with tenderness as she searches the supposed stranger's eyes, as if trying to find Moomin's very essence within this new monstrous form. And Moomin's getting really desperate because the long silence makes him think nobody believes him and he's ready to break down completely and give up knowing he's stuck in this new body.

Until Moominmama determines that yes, this is her darling child, and through the power of a mother's love he is transformed into his former self. Her love is what allows everyone else in the room to see that this is the same Moomin they've always known and loved.

it's so obvious when someone thinks transfem and transmasc is a (often binary) woman and man exclusive club. transfem ≠ woman and transmasc ≠ man. there's terms for when you mean trans women and trans men, and it's yknow, trans woman and trans man.

i'm tired of nonbinary, abinary, anodiean, etc people who are transfem/masc while not being binary women / men**, being ignored erased or added as an afterthought. i'm tired of multigender, genderfluid, etc people who are transfem/masc, having part of their identity ignored because most posts about transfem/mascs has a monogender centered concept. and i'm tired of people who aren't just one trans label being ignored or an afterthought.

** some people do identify as both binary and nonbinary, and some nonbinary people do identify as women / men. but even then most people exclude them due to the push of strict experience boxes.

You can literally just be a man if you want to. It's okay. I know people will tell you you're being selfish, or you're betraying womanhood and taking the easy way out. They'll say shit like "this is why we have a butch shortage" and talk similarly about a top shortage as if they're the same thing. (They aren't; some butches are tops, but not all, and you don't have to pretend to be either if it doesn't suit you.)

People will assume it's because you hate women or hate yourself for being born as a girl or being a woman. The thing is, transitioning is supposed to be about you, about what's right for you, not about hating others. People may assume it's basically the "not like other girls" phase some girls go through. If your transition is about anything other than living your truth, don't do it. But if it's your path, it's your path. Let others think what they will. If they're so committed to not understanding, there's not much that can be done.

You can love your version of masculinity without being (trans)misogynistic. In no way is it intrinsic to manhood that you hate women. If you hate women, that's a different kind of problem.

It's hard to be a trans guy. I won't lie. But if it's your path, it's your path. You owe it to yourself to be true to yourself a lot more than you owe others a performance of gender that they think is acceptable.

You are as capable of misogyny as anyone else is, which is to say, very capable and responsible for your actions and inactions in this just as much as any other area of life. No more, no less. You owe it to yourself and others not to embrace toxic masculinity, but masculinity in and of itself is not toxic. It is not intrinsic to masculinity that men and masc-spec people oppress women and fem-spec people. You are not harming or oppressing anyone simply by existing as a trans man or transmasc individual.

You deserve to be loved and supported and respected just as much as anyone else does. Your value as a person has no relation to your gender. You can be both a good and worthy and kind person and a man.

Oh, and sometimes it will feel like pretty much everybody thinks less of you in one way or another for being a trans man. Fuck them. As a trans guy, it often feels like you can't win, like every side has something bad to say about you simply for existing as a trans man. Like you must want to exploit and oppress others, as if that's the only reason anyone would ever choose to transition.

But there's nothing wrong with you for being a man. It's just another way of being. Plenty of people will tell you masculinity is basically inherently evil, but they're wrong. You're not bad for wanting to be a man or masculine.

You're okay. Just be a man or transmasc if you want to. Do it however feels best for you. If a more normative type of masculinity suits you best, do that. If you're more of a gender non-conforming guy, be that type of guy.