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You need to be freakier and weirder and more bizarre, like its actually scaring the hoes away when you act all nonchalant and dismissive. Be a nerdy little bitch! Learn to give a fuck about things! Its hot!
It's exhausting every time nonbinary androgyny is brought up, it's in the context of "you don't HAVE to be androgynous". 99% of the time we're just forgotten about, omitted from any sort of discourse or positivity, unless it's time to remind people they don't have to be like us.
Being androgynous doesn't get us treated better or more seriously than other nonbinary people. There's no nonbinary/androgyonus gender role. We're still seen as an aesthetic, mental illness, ideology. In fact, we're often more visibly queer and trans than fem-aligned and masc-aligned people.
We're a minority in a minority in a minority. Most nonbinary representation is, in fact, not androgynous.
And nonbinary people being androgynous is not even really a stereotype bigoted people have. Most of the time we are stereotyped as either "transmasc lite" (an AFAB person who has short hair and binds but is still visibly feminine) or people who only change their pronouns and do nothing else. Enbyphobes never jump to androgyny.
nonbinary transsexuals get behind me ill protect you. we can also kiss if u want
trans men/mascs deserve self respect
trans men/mascs deserve to defend ourselves
trans men/mascs deserve self expression
trans men/mascs deserve love
trans men/mascs deserve joy
trans men/mascs deserve to achieve their dreams

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Thinking about that part in the Moomin series where after getting transformed by the magic top-hat Moomin has to convince everyone that it's actually him.
Specifically the version from the 90s anime where he's crying and sobbing to his mother, who treats him with tenderness as she searches the supposed stranger's eyes, as if trying to find Moomin's very essence within this new monstrous form. And Moomin's getting really desperate because the long silence makes him think nobody believes him and he's ready to break down completely and give up knowing he's stuck in this new body.
Until Moominmama determines that yes, this is her darling child, and through the power of a mother's love he is transformed into his former self. Her love is what allows everyone else in the room to see that this is the same Moomin they've always known and loved.
Like, I know that entire novel and its subsequent adaptations are one big queer allegory, but that part really fucking hit hard for me as someone with a very tenuous relationship with their own mother. When I come out to her, will she be blinded by her ignorance and distaste for "alternative lifestyles" and antagonize me? Or will she too be able to see in my eyes that I am the same child she has always loved and that she will continue to love in this odd new form?
when seeing the term "transfem" the first thought shouldn't only be a binary woman. when seeing the term "transmasc" the first thought shouldn't only be a binary man.
it's so obvious when someone thinks transfem and transmasc is a (often binary) woman and man exclusive club. transfem ≠woman and transmasc ≠man. there's terms for when you mean trans women and trans men, and it's yknow, trans woman and trans man.
i'm tired of nonbinary, abinary, anodiean, etc people who are transfem/masc while not being binary women / men**, being ignored erased or added as an afterthought. i'm tired of multigender, genderfluid, etc people who are transfem/masc, having part of their identity ignored because most posts about transfem/mascs has a monogender centered concept. and i'm tired of people who aren't just one trans label being ignored or an afterthought.
** some people do identify as both binary and nonbinary, and some nonbinary people do identify as women / men. but even then most people exclude them due to the push of strict experience boxes.
⚠️ Do not use they/them if talking about me to others in reblogs/comments. I have neopronouns in my pinned post ⚠️