#mahar

What is Mahr and why it is important?

Mahr is a payment to the bride which she will keep. This is because if the girl doesn’t have anything (property or gold), she will have something to hold her rights. If the wife, later on, asks for a divorce, she will return the Mahr to him and get a divorce called Khula. Usually, the wife is allowed to keep the Mahr if a divorce happens due to ordinary issues.

Allah says in Surah An-Nisa, verse 20:

“But if you want to replace one wife with another and you have given one of them a great amount (in gifts), do not take back from it anything. Would you take it in injustice and manifest sin?” [4:20]

Also, the following hadith states: “You are not entitled to take back any money. If you have told the truth, the Mahr you paid was for having sexual relations with her lawfully”. [Sahih Bukhari]. What does Mahr symbolize?

Mahr is a sign of responsibility of the husband and is a must to pay the bride with currency, movable or immovable properties. The Mahr is not legally fixed but suggested as per the social standards. The Mahr is assessed during the time of marriage or postponed at a later date. However, in case of death or divorce, the delayed Mahr stands void.

As Prophet Mohammed said,

“Surely Allah may forgive any sin on the Day of Resurrection save the sin of one who misappropriated the Mehr of a woman or the wages of a hired person, or who sells a free person (as a slave).” What is the point of Mahr?

“Mahar” © Philip Rice, accessed at his gallery here

[D&D owes a lot to At the Earth’s Core and the rest of the Pellucidar novels by Edgar Rice Burroughs. The idea that the interior world is full of strange psychic slavers is a classic D&D trope, what with its aboleths and illithids, and they owe a lot to the mahars here. Also, I can’t believe it took me this long to realize, but the quaggoths of D&D are clearly inspired by the mahar’s favored minions, the sagoths. I like this art because it tries to make the mahar look like a rhamphorhynchus, as opposed to just a generic winged humanoid. I love you, Frazetta, but your mahars don’t look a damn thing like pterosaurs.]

Mahar CR 8 LE Aberration This creature looks like a man-sized pterosaur, with full hands growing from its wings. It seems capable of walking on both two and four feet, and has a long tail ending in a diamond-shaped fin. Its hands and feet are webbed, and its beak has small, sharp teeth.

A mahar is a strange pterosaur-like creature of the Hollow Earth with dangerous psychic powers. They are distant relatives of the rhamphorhynchus, but have much larger bodies relative to their size—they stand around six to seven feet tall. They have altered their forms through selective breeding and alchemical mutations—they can swim like a seal, have prehensile hands able to manipulate tools, and are all female. Once the female mahars learned how to engineer their hormones to lay eggs parthenogenically, they exterminated their males. Rumors exist of male mahars living in less “civilized” regions, but whether such creatures are unusually small or unusually large varies with the telling.

Mahars are more than a physical match for an ordinary human, but prefer to use their psychic powers to render such comparisons irrelevant. They can command the minds of creatures to approach them as if in a trance, whereupon the mahar can rip them to shreds without resistance. The hypnotic stare of a mahar addles the minds of their foes, clouding their judgement and opening them up to devastatingly precise attacks. Mahars prefer to fight in groups to alone, preferably behind an army of slaves, and rapidly flee if their mental powers are resisted or their slaves defeated.

Mahar society is built around slavery, with the mahars as masters commanding lesser beings through telepathic threats. Quaggoths are a favorite servitor race, and thipdars (giant pterosaurs—treat as an advanced quetzalcoatlus) are used as beasts of burden. Mahars are completely deaf and incapable of vocalizing, but intricate dances, performed either by the mahars themselves or by their slaves, hold a similar social position to music. Mahars are carnivorous, but limit themselves to fish and reptile meat as a matter of course. Eating a mammal as simply a meal is seen as taboo, but humanoid slaves are killed and eaten as part of religious rituals. 

Mahars advance by character level. Psychic and mesmerist are the most commonly taken classes, but some mahars train as alchemists.

Tidak sedikit pria yang mundur karena pihak perempuan menetapkan mahar yang tidak mampu iya penuhi.

Namun para wanita juga tidak jarang dibuat bingung untuk menetapkan mahar seperti apa yang pas untuk menjawabnya.

“Kamu mau apa maharnya?”

Masa dijawab “Terserah.” ?

Jawaban ini malah membuat pria bingung dan bisa membuat pria sewenang - wenang menetapkan mahar untukmu.

Kamu bisa gunakan kalimat ini untuk menjawabnya:

“Mahar yang tidak memberatkanmu, namun tidak merendahkanku.”

Dengan kalimat seperti ini, pelamar akan mikir keras berkali - kali.

Dear boys.. Jika kamu bertemu dengan wanita shaliha, kemungkinan besar kamulah yang akan menentukan maharnya. Namun janganlah membuat dirinya rendah dengan mahar yang kau ajukan. Karena sejatinya dia wanita shalihah yang tiada ternilai dengan materi kan?

Mahar adalah salah satu komponen yang akan diijabkan pada akad nikah. Perjanjian sakral antara kamu, wali, saksi, penghulu dan Allah beserta para malaikat. Berikanlah yang terbaik!

Dear girls.. Sejatinya mahar memang cukup sensitif, perlu ada diskusi juga dengan pihak orang tua. Namun mahar ini adalah faktor penting bagi mayoritas kaum pria yang belum mapan. Yakinlah rezeki setelah menikah akan lebih deras.

Karena kebutuhan pernikahan itu bukan hanya mahar, ada hantaran, catering, gedung, dekorasi, rias, kostum, dokumentasi, dll.

“Pernikahan yang paling besar keberkahannya ialah yang paling mudah maharnya.” HR. Ahmad (no. 24595)

Tips menentukan mahar:

Cek tanggal pernikahan, jika pernikahan di tanggal muda 1 - 10, kamu bisa jadikan angka tersebut sebagai jumlah berat logam mulia yang akan kamu beri.

Jika tanggal pernikahan di tanggal 11 - 30, kamu bisa jadikan angka tersebut untuk berat perhiasan emas.

Nb: harga perhiasan emas ada beberapa grade.

Jadi terdapat angka filosofis yang bisa kamu jelaskan atas jumlah maharmu, tidak harus genap atau kelipatan lima ya.

Kamu juga bisa menambahkan mahar non materi seperti hafalan qur’an yang  perjuangannya pun tidak mudah untuk memuliakan calon pasanganmu jika kau terbatas dengan materi.

Terakhir dan tidak kalah penting adalah negosiasi. Jangan saklek dalam menentukan mahar. Pertimbangkan kebutuhan pasca nikah penting juga.

"Nanti kalau teteh nikah, mamah mah sering bilangin jangan pernah nuntut minta mahar yang berat-berat ya, serahin aja ke pihak laki-laki, mau ngasih mahar berapa."

Berulang kali mamah nasihatin hal kayak gitu ke saya, kadang saat lagi ngobrol berdua, kadang saat lagi ngobrol bareng teteh (istrinya om), dan tadi saat lagi nyetrika pakaian bareng, pas juga saat itu di dekat kami ada papah. Respon papah? Wes sudah dipastikan hanya mendengarkan dan diam saja. Ehehe

Entah tiba-tiba ngalir gitu aja nasihat begitu, bahkan sekarang sering banget secara spontan mamah atau si teteh ngasih nasihat yang berkaitan dengan pernikahan. Apakah ini sebuah kode alam (?) wqwq

Jujur, dinasihatin begitu saya sih bersyukur bgt. Awalnya malah speechless, masyaAllah mamah :')

Dulu awal memasuki usia 20-an sering bgt banyak pertanyaan yang memenuhi isi kepala tentang pernikahan, termasuk perkara mahar. Pas tau kalau perempuan itu diminta untuk memudahkan dalam perkara mahar, sempet mikir, kalau aku ingin memudahkan, bagaimana ya dengan orang tua?

Kekhawatiran kayak gitu muncul, karena banyak banget di lingkungan sekitar, yang justru 'tuntutan mahar' itu datang dari orang tua si perempuan. Minta uang sekian puluh juta lah, minta emas sekian gram, dsb. Yang berujung memberatkan pihak laki-laki.

Entah ini saya lupa pernah dapat nasihat darimana, "sebaik-baiknya perempuan yang memudahkan maharnya, tetapi sebaik lelaki ialah yang memberikan mahar terbaik." Jadi ya kalau begini, ga akan ada yang merasa terberatkan, kalau sama-sama ikhlas dan penuh kerelaan tetapi tetap berusaha memenuhi yang terbaik.

Btw, mamah saya nasihati kayak gitu, ternyata dapat nasihat perkara mahar itu juga dari nenek saya, saat mamah dulu mau nikah sama papah. Ya bisa dibilang nasihat turun temurun, ehehe.

Salah satu yang juga termasuk rezeki dari-Nya adalah..... ketika kita punya value atau megang suatu prinsip, atau punya mimpi, dsb. dan ternyata value kita mendapatkan support dari keluarga. Waah Alhamdulillah :')

Semoga suatu saat teteh bisa menjalankan nasihat mamah dengan baik; untuk tak memberatkan perkara mahar ya. Aamiin :)

Another commission of Edaj! My favorite part of this was doing the scales :o