#internalized amatonormativity

What is the Aspec Helpdesk?

Wanted to do some soft stern dominant Drericka bit, and ended up making it a "Ericka helping Drac unlearn some of his internalized aphobia/amatonormativity and helping stick up for her Grandson" bit. I've seen people talking about the "You can't just be friends with Winnie" and the Dennis being uncomfortable with flirtatious Winnie and I liked the idea of Ericka being the one to call him out on his internalized amatonormativity/aphobia as the more practical newbie who had to deal with expectations much of her life (and as the Exception.) Even more fun with A. Drac being Aspec himself and B. Drac backed off after she told him she couldn't be with a monster. "You wouldn't force me, you didn't like the guys teasing you, why tease him?" And C. He helped her unlearn her misconceptions, she's going to return the favor.

Sometimes society makes me feel bad for being me. I hope amatonormativity goes away and doesn't affect any aspecs ever again because this feeling is just awful.

The thing about ToA is that she doesn't grow past it. She dismisses her relationship with Jason as having been pushed on her by the gods bc she fell out of love. She lets everyone around her blame Jason for the breakup bc that's better than admitting that she actually did the breaking up (this is not confirmed canonically this is just how it read to me). And as for her ending, as much as I like Piper being confirmed sapphic, the whole lack of a set up and the fact it reads so much like a rebound really feels like Piper resorted yet again to romance instead of dealing with her issues.

The frayromantic and the cupioromantic both come into eachother’s lives. The frayromantic initally experiences the involuntary primary romo attrac to the cupioro. However, as the frayro and cupioro form a bond (emotional and friendship) the frayro’s romo feelings for the cupioro fade. Frayro knows how Cupioro feels about a potential relationship, however Frayro is struggling to accept themself and their fading romantic attraction. Frayro is struggling to accept their frayromanticsm and how they cannot keep their romantic attraction.

Cupioro and Frayro connect over how it’s ok to want a romantic relationship without experiencing romantic attraction, and how both of them accepted that *if* they were in a QPP of some sort, neither of them would require their partner experience romo attrac towards them, which is an amatonormative and arophobic standard anyway.

I’m aro, but still struggle with internalized amatonormativity. An example would be only associating love with romantic feelings because of media and how little I’ve seen it used in other contexts. Everyday, get better with those internal feelings and they slowly fade away, but want to speed up the process even if it’s just by a tiny bit.