I'm Aro, I'm Ace, and I'm a hot mess

The Original Flag(s)

Ansexual and Anromantic respectively

Someone who lacks attraction and interest in sex or romance in any form and are repulsed by the concepts, regardless of whether or not it is related to them. This repulsion is typically strong enough to described as hatred.

Note: This hatred is directed towards the concepts of sex and romance, not the individuals themselves who partake in them, and it is very different from sex negativity.

The Redesigns

Version 1

Version 2

Ansexual, Anrose/Anaroace (added), and Anromantic (unchanged) respectively

Now I'm going to explain why I made these redesigns to begin with, as well as the reasonings behind each design, under the cut.

If you have any question, please read through in case it's already been answered before asking.

Thanks! Here you go 🥰

Some other additions:

Inspired by @unicorn-in-the-library:

And because @surfs-up-roxy wanted an ace one:

I didn't want to make the message ace-specific because I wanted to make a point of how all of the above include aspec people, but I tried to use an ace colour palette for the background :) I also think the message applies especially (even if not exclusively) to the ace community!

I played around with the concept a bit, I hope you like it anyway!

I feel like this also needs to be said:

Image 1: (in white text, on a background of rainbow watercolors) Gatekeeping hurts queer people who are questioning.

Image 2: (in white text, on a background of rainbow paint strokes) Gatekeeping hurts more queer people than it protects.

Image 3: (in white text, on a background of pastel watercolors) How about you let people question their gender and sexuality in peace.

Image 4: (in white text, on a photo of the rainbow pride flag flying in a blue sky) People don’t owe you a chronicle of their life experiences and feelings for you to decide whether they belong in their own community.

Image 5: (in white text, on a marbled pink background) I don’t know how to tell you this, but you are not the queer police.

Image 6: (in white text, on a background of multicolored textile) Stop siding with our oppressors.

Image 7: (in white text, on a photo of pieces of chalk arranged in a rainbow on asphalt) Not every queer person’s experiences need to be like yours.

Image 8: (in white text, on a background of shiny, rainbow chunks of metal (?)) Mind your own damn business.

Image 9: (in white text, on a mottled black & rainbow background) Let people change labels.

Image 10: (in white text, on a photo of a full moon in a dark sky) There’s no such thing as not being queer enough.

Image 11: (in white text, on a background of paint strokes in pink, white, magenta, purple and dark blue, the colors of the genderfluid pride flag) Vocabulary is designed to be constantly reinvented as human societies evolve, and labels aren’t the exception.

Image 12: (in white text, on a background of pink, purple, and turquoise) Gatekeeping is a product of privilege.

Here's one more addition per @secretlycrazyhummingbird's suggestion:

[ID: (in white text, over a black background with striking rainbow lights) gatekeepers are nothing but bullies. End ID]

And I'm really glad this post has helped so many people feel a bit less alone in their struggles. Bullies have made a LOT of damage in this community—have made so many of us feel like impostors, like trenders, like maybe we were making up the things we were feeling—and it makes me so happy we're all pushing back against their hateful, narrow-minded, queerphobic rhetoric.

This is important because people need to learn that being attractive isn't an invitation for anything. No, ace and aro rep shouldn't be reserved for the ones that are deemed "ugly" and unpopular. Sometimes it will be someone good looking, maybe even gorgeous and charismatic. That doesn't automatically mean that they are open for any kind of relationship.

This isn't just about fiction either. It's about the broader sentiment in our society that it's a waste to be attractive and not open to sexual and/or romantic interactions. It's also about entitlement as well. Entitlement to sexualize and romanticize others sometimes without their explicit consent.

My main problem is that it follows the same theme that a lot of fandoms take - the prioritisation of romantic relationships over platonic ones, and the view that they are worth less. There is a stunning lack of well developed fully platonic relationships in media, and it’s that lack of representation that makes aroace people struggle with their identity.

It’s very hard to live your life knowing that so many of the people around you view your connection as lesser just because it’s not romantic, and it just gets enforced by the standards shown in fandom spaces about platonic relationships.

Usually I’m all for shipping like do whatever have fun, but to me Rocky and graces relationship and it’s meaning for both of them is so inherently linked to their platonic value to each other.

One of the reasons grace was sent on the Hail Mary was because of his lack of romantic relationships (despite his apparent friendship with many other people on stratts vatt) and how that lack of what many believe to be a more valuable form of love made him a coward for not wanting to leave his life behind.

However, grace choosing to go back for rocky, not because of some romantic feelings but solely because of their friendship is so important for graces development as a character, because yes he still has no romantic partner, he’s still technically in the same position as when he left except he’s not, because he’s able to place his own value on the relationship he has with Rocky, rather than adhering to what are essentially societal hierarchies of love.

Why are you standing up like a grown man?

There's these socks...