#acemisia

So awhile back I figured out I was aegoromantic, I thought I wanted romance, but when I got in a relationship, I found out I simply enjoyed the concept (me and my ex are now very comfortable as being just friends now). This all led to me doing deeper research to better understand my general orientation and I just generally saw people saying terrible things about it. I saw someone calling it a "p*rn addiction" and that aego people were basically just pretending to be aroace for validation.

this is aspec antagonism.

im also aego. aegosexual, specifically. ive always felt a little ashamed of my sexuality specifically because of this stigma. saying that aego folks have a porn addiction is amisic and a completely incorrect generalization.

It’s also not a sudden switch. The churches I grew up in preached that sexuality was reserved for your husband, and that if you had boobs (they didn’t recognize anything but cis existed) that your body was inherently tempting, and men’s attraction to you was your responsibility.

Also — while I went to church camp every summer and did Bible Quizzing (I was really good at that actually) and was in the church pageant and youth groups and all of that — I know many people raised in much stricter churches, and that includes stricter purity culture beliefs.

The idea that men and masculine people wouldn’t want sex? Utterly unthinkable. I even remember having conversations in my Christian college with women who wanted to get married who said that part of their marriage was the duty to be sexually available to their husbands.

The body I was raised with was meant for the service of a future husband, not me. And that bled into secular culture (still does). Claiming my aceness was a huge part of claiming agency over my body and healing from the idea that it could only exist for others.

Here’s the thing: in a nutshell, women and feminine people are seen as not wanting sex, but having bodies inherently sexually tempting to men and masculine people. When the two marry, she must give her body to her husband in every way. And yeah, it’s as gross as it sounds.

Just because conservatives didn’t say “asexual” before doesn’t make this rhetoric new. Purity culture has been against anything not based in some 1950s idealized sexuality in marriage for a very long time. Very cis heteronormative— two things aces are not. The only difference is that conservatives are including the word “asexual” in their sexual ethics now.

Wrote an essay about it here.

Miserable lady who seeks to out-do herself daily on how contemptible she can be decides to incite fans to help her obliviously prove themselves wrong with ignorant oppressive sentiments such as:

Asexuality needs to be cured.

(more aphobia under the cut)

People who hate asexuals do not have a healthy understanding of romance or sex.