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ableism and arophobia is people claiming im only aromantic because im autistic and assuming i must also be ace too because im autistic and 'find touch icky' (1. not how sexual atraction works and 2. i dont???)
This is ableism and arophobia.
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aro culture is not listening to ppl telling me i'm "wrong" or "abnormal" for not wanting a relationship bc hey, at least i'm not marrying an actual paper stand or an animal or whatever... please focus your disapproval on those ppl, i'm just vibing
hey, anon. i want to gently call you in on something: society likes to call a lot of people wrong and abnormal, aro folks included. this is hurtful, and you are allowed to feel hurt by it. but as i read this, i can't help but wonder:
are objectum folks hurting you? is there a reason we need to have targets for disappointment? it's understandable to be hurt by bigotry. it's common to use those feelings as a reason to lash out at others. i don't understand marrying things, but what does shaming them do?
for example: a person marries an object. there is (to my knowledge) nowhere where this makes any legal impact on anyone, including the spouse. it presumably is something that the person in question is happy to do. the majority of harms come from others reacting to said feelings or actions. socially, if they disclose this, they will likely be ostracized and mocked or shamed. this creates isolation, and harms that individual from being able to access support in their communities.
is it strange to me? sure. but so is romance. so is a lot of science, art, culture, and anything that melds them. I just don't see being objectum or acting on it as directly harming anyone except as discomfort, and discomfort =/= lack of safety =/= harassment. honestly, sounds to me like i have a lot more in common with objectum folks as an aro than not - there's a lot of similar "it doesn't harm anyone but try telling them that" feelings.
all this to say: your feelings are valid. people should not be cruel to you. you should not be cruel to others.
not a fan of when allos use the existence of QPRs as an excuse to date aros without it being classified as actual dating :/
"if i call our relationship queerplatonic instead of romantic, i get to treat them like my romantic partner without their consent anyway" actual scum
Aroaces who make it their mission to enable aroacemisia from allos need to get punted into the fucking sun.
Get some fucking solidarity or get punted, jackasses.
The nonsense that Tumblr calls sex-positivity is beyond the point of parody.
They say that consent matters but call it purity culture when someone has sexual boundaries.
They say that we need to be accepting of all unorthodox sexual interests but they fully endorse ostracizing ace and aro people when they have unconventional relationships with the physical act of sex.
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we should use the word allocentrism more often it's very good at its job.
If your response to being told that a post of yours is bigoted is to go "it's not that serious" "you're just looking for things to get mad at" "why don't you go do something useful", congrats, that's called bigotry.
[ID: The asexual, aroace, and aromantic pride flags next to eachother, with text over top reading, "Asexual and aromantic are umbrella terms that represent every single person who identifies with them. You do not get to tell people they don't belong just because they don't fit your personal arbitrary definitions of what asexuality or aromanticism 'really' are or 'really' include. You do not get to define other people's orientations or experiences for them. You do not get to tell someone that something is 'only' an aromantic or 'only' an asexual experience.". End ID.]
Stop telling people they're not allowed to tag their posts as "aromantic" or "asexual" or "aroace" because you have decided that their personal experiences have nothing to do with what they've tagged their own post.
You are not the arbiter of what aromanticism and asexuality "really" mean. They mean different things to every person who experiences them.
You do not get to force your arbitrary definitions of what an aromantic or asexual or aroace experience "really is" onto anyone else.
Stop trying to exclude people from the literal gods damned terms that represent the entire community because you think they don't fit into your arbitrary definitions enough to be allowed in.
If you hate the diversity of experiences in the aromantic and asexual communities, you have a personal problem you need to deal with. And you do not get to exclude anyone else because of it.
The split attraction model is not mandatory.
Stop erasing and speaking over non-SAM aros aces and aroaces. You literally do not get to define our experiences for us.
Stop excluding people from the community for failing to live up to your arbitrary and strictly defined definitions.
Exclusionism will never help anyone.
