Bees?

like to charge, reblog to cast.

drugs. alcohol. smoking. they gotta make a secret fourth thing i can do every day with no consequences

if magic was real I'd get really into wizardry long enough to learn like 3 spells then move on and 4 years later id be like oh yeah I remember how to summon flame. probably. and then id do all the hand motions out of order and explode

“you’re allowed to relax, you know” unfortunately i cannot do that. Otherwise they will get me

In hindsight being a “gifted kid” is so funny. You have substantial difficulties with socializing and fine motor skills but we’re going to ignore that because you’re really good at reading chapter books

We don't need to raise this one because it can read novels.

Hello bisexual community

Begin killing

My feral pit fighter of a cleric: Seola!!! I’m so in love with her <3

i love things that come in glass jars because once its over the glass jar is mine

Gomez and Morticia Addams got divorced. I woke up mortified and with a sense of inexplicable dread.

you literally don’t need any other plot and i would watch the movie

This. All of this.

Wednesday offers to help with split custody of Pugsley. her suggestion involved a big table saw

They fight over who gets to hire the expensive big-firm lawyer and who gets to hire the up-and-coming rookie divorce lawyer. It's a whole Thing.

The up and coming lawyer is Thing?

Thing wins the case

it's actually started because Thing just passed the bar exam and no one will hire Thing

Thing is dressed as elle woods

Wishing financial freedom, good sex, laughter and perfectly seasoned food for everyone reading this

"Yeah hold on, let me change out of my work clothes" [undoes a single button on my hawaiian shirt and nothing else]

hard to believe there are actually people out there who think that big noses are ugly and unattractive … like what the fuck is wrong with you ?