fuvk @splitter-gires - Tumblr Blog

my friend just told me that there's a secret second dashboard that solely contains posts from people you've turned on post notifications for, and when i click the link in the messages it opens it within the tumblr app, so the tumblr app also has a secret second dashboard for post notification blogs, and the only way to access it is to open the link for it within the app.

i literally love tumblr

nightpool

i have a private pinned post that just has a link to this dashboard on it, it's great. two dashboards for life

cyle

wow! i was really hoping someone would organically reverse-engineer this and find that dash.

here are a few other "secret" dashboards:

Posts from your "crushes"

"What you missed" (will be empty if you already visit Tumblr every day)

"Trending"

these are all just taking existing feeds of content and putting them in a dashboard-like format... the "Stuff for you" tab/feed is the same idea.

ruimtetijd

blurrymango

I swear if the link in the original post is a virus I'll be so upset.

ruimtetijd

nope! i hovered over the link and this popped up on the bottom of the browser. here's all the links in order:

https://www.tumblr.com/timeline/blog_subscriptions

https://www.tumblr.com/timeline/crushes

https://www.tumblr.com/timeline/what_you_missed

https://www.tumblr.com/timeline/trending

https://www.tumblr.com/timeline/for_you

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werewolf-transgenderism

this is fucking killing me bro. computah, show me more hot hockey firefighters whaling on cops

deadsetagainst

australian sour patch kids have gluten in them i am truly at my fucking limit im crashing out im waging war against wheat idgaf anymore

amvs

oh is that one of those things where ableist companies put in traces of common allergens so they can just avoid the cost of making it safe

deadsetagainst

WHAT

amvs

A trend we predicted in 2016 continues.

US based but it’s similar reasons in other countries. and of course many companies have international locations. idk if that’s why it’s happening with sour patch kids but this is a thing

rosetintmyworld84

I cannot even explain how ANGRY I am at this.

My nephew is very allergic to eggs, peanuts, tree nuts, and sesame. Last year my sister discovered all hot dogs and hamburger buns now contain sesame. Not "may contain", but listed in the ingredients. This year basically every brand of sliced bread also now contains sesame, making it very difficult to find bread items he can eat.

They're just adding it to their products, so they can just list it as an ingredient and not bother with worrying about cross contamination. And they aren't even bothering with telling anyone. Capitalism is going to kill us all.

"Which brings us back to Kellogg’s. Back in 2016, the company found a way around the added burden and expense of complying with the FSMA: they simply began adding trace amounts of peanut flour to their cracker products. Doing so allowed them to list peanuts as an ingredient of the product, freeing them from having to prevent cross-contact.

At the time, Kellogg’s notified Food Allergy Research and Education (FARE) about the impending change and left it to them to warn the allergic community. In this case, Pearson’s didn’t even bother as near as we can tell."

butch-king-frankenstein

I think those fancomics where Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes is transgender are cute and fun but I also think it's a deep misunderstanding of Calvin's character to think he would transition into a heterosexual normie who goes to her high school reunion. That girl would have neopronouns and fang implants

butch-king-frankenstein

Adult Calvin is a tattoo artist named Panthera who is the bassist in a terrible metal band called Captain Napalm and Hobbes helps do faer E injections

butch-king-frankenstein

I know it's like 2 weeks too late to change it but I'm so mad I didn't realize that the band would obviously be called "Get Rid Of Slimy GirlS". I walk the road of shame

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liberalsarecool

Freedom FROM religion is mandatory.

thedurvin

Apparently Tumblr deleted my post about how the Virginia state flag is the only one with a visible boob? Which I was trying to find so I could reblog it with the addition that a Texas school district banned it because of the boob?

A Texas district pulled a lesson on Virginia from some classes over a topless Roman goddess on the state flag. Yep, really.

Well here, I’m gonna post it anyway. Hopefully no sex perverts will turn into cartoon wolves and make alarm bell and steam whistle noises

eraserheadadult

when i was a kid i had moments of being so fucking diabolical because i realized at some point the best way to leverage power over my family was to do shit that would make everybody late

eraserheadadult

our house was in the middle of nowhere surrounded by woods so when i decided i didnt want to wear dresses anymore if we were going to some event & my parents insisted i had to wear a dress i would just go hide in the woods. was so committed i almost made us miss a flight once bc my mom packed a dress in my suitcase

i only promised to stop doing this if my parents got me formal boys clothes to wear which eventually they did. i don't feel bad about resorting to violence bc i asked politely and they said no. proud of 10 yr old me for evil annoying lesbian behavior

the-prophesied-disco-gay

5th grade was the last time I wore a dress for school pictures. When my parents attempted to force the issue for 6th grade, I climbed onto our roof and pulled the ladder up after me. My dad borrowed the neighbors ladder. As soon as it touched the roof I pulled it up too. By the time I had 3 ladders they were willing to negotiate, and 2 hours late for work.

max1461

ostensible-adult

[Image ID: a tumblr tag reading "problems that can be avoided if you simply treat your child as a human being with the right to make decisions on what they wear". End ID]

shamebats

Tiktok post by @ wynunlimited.

lilaccatholic

It’s Fourth of July Eve so make sure to leave some milk and cookies out for Captain America

lilaccatholic

I THOUGHT AFTER FOUR YEARS YOU PEOPLE WOULD LET THIS DIE AND YET AGAIN I OPEN THIS CURSED APP TO FIND MORE NOTES ON THIS POST

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biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

think I've been mildly cursed by a witch

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

for years now my laptop charger has reliably broken every 6 months. admittedly i keep replacing it with the cheapest possible generics, but I've tried differed brands and ALWAYS, 6 months in Death knocks impatiently at my door, its skeletal hand outstretched demanding yet another goddamn power cable. the only feasible explanation is i pissed off a witch. the alternative is that i'm the problem, which seems unikely

spectraltower

the witch is called enshittification

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

excellent so is this like a rumpelstiltskin situation or

kingsonne-zedecks

Humor aside. Don't buy another USB-C laptop charger. Buy a USB-C power adapter rated for the same power needs as the laptop, Anker makes high quality ones. Then you can easily replace the cable if it wears out.

The power adapter is the expensive part, the cable is cheap, but the cable is always going to fray first. Plus, you can buy a braided cable, or a right-angle cable which are less likely to break in the same way depending on how you use your laptop, and you can get whatever length of cable is convenient for you.

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

holy shit you've circumvented the witch's curse. yeah it's the same cable that gives out on me. replaceable parts that so fucking sexy. I'm assuming I just buy one that's the same wattage (65W) as my laptop needs? damn that witch is gonna be PISSED

kingsonne-zedecks

You can buy one stronger than your laptops needs if you want. Devices these days are smart enough at power management to only take what they need, so a 100w charger won't brick your laptop or anything, but 65w will work perfect.

The only other thing is that not all USB-C cables are created equally. The form factor is standardized, the insides are not, some shitty, cheap, cables are only rated for data not power, or for low power needs. You can search for charging cable to make sure you get one intended for power transfer.

This witches curse effected me for years on end before I discovered this. I'm happy to foil their efforts once more.

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

LIFE HACK UNLOCKED

almondarcade

when people use “you messed with the wrong fandom” as a threat

twin-gemiinii

It’s funnier because we all know there’s only one fandom that does that but if we mention it specifically, they’ll do just that.

unorthodoxchronicles

we better keep this like SUPER LOCKED down we don’t know WHO could react to this one, EH? EH?

neclipsis

If you’re aiming at SuperWhoLocks, ITS NOT FUNNY.

They’ve arrived

ackleholics-anonymoose-blog

Originally posted by dean-winchester-crush

ruined-by-destiel

Originally posted by stuffyase

Originally posted by myownobessionthatcannotstop

almondarcade

are you people trying to threaten me with gifs of Bendytoots Lizardman and friends

sweet-hedonist

Pffff we’re so scared

high-functioning-fallen-angel

You should be.

Originally posted by findreactions

almondarcade

I Am Unironically Being Threatened With Gif Of Generic White Man With Gun™

mccoys-killer-queen-deactivated

You better be thankful that it was just a “Generic White Man With Gun™”

it could’ve been Sam Fucking Winchester

almondarcade

Generic White Man 2™: This Time Nakey

thecrazyalaskan

senchromelove

oh my god it’s 2016 i thought this nightmare was over

patienc

This is the worst post on this website

mentally-unstable-bagel

This is the best post on this website

the-big-mood

Hey, did you know archive.org has a bunch of free 90s shows you can stream?

The problem is finding them, since no one's organized them all in one place with covers and episode info. I'm trying to fix that with my new website.

It's in BETA right now, and all the content was just added today, so I've barely scratched the surface of what's out there.

Let me know what you think and what kind of shows/movies you want to see!

http://90sKid.com

the-big-mood

We now have a Watch Party with chat feature now live HERE

You can create a live tv channel with our existing library. The channel is time syned so whoever is watching with you will share the moment!

It also works with youtube links and archive.org links.

90skid-com

New playlist feature here, create and share playlists. You can also import them into your Watch Party.

Submit archive.org links here

isawken

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

worldheritagepostorganization

World Heritage Post

isawken

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

asmeesh

My friend is wildly talented and makes these imitation fossils of mythic creatures. I love them so much.

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teaboot

Do you think Clark Kent's first few major articles were about the continued presence of lead pipes in parts of Metropolis' water system

teaboot

(Average Metropolis reader after investigative reporter C. Kent's 452nd article on yet another case of landlords/business owners/factories' continued use of lead pipes/paint/gas/glass knowingly exposing the public to dangerously toxic lead levels) what the fuck happened to this guy

teaboot

One day Bruce Wayne mentions in an interview that heroes like Superman are overrated, as the most effective way to reduce crime is to provide public resources and improve local infrastructure, then cites how neighboring city Metropolis has effectively lowered their violent crime by 13% after addressing their outdated water system and investing low income housing. the reporter conducting the interview suddenly starts looking a little uncomfortable

teaboot

To be clear, Clark is still a fantastic investigative reporter. He still has to track down the sources to prove all this shit

teaboot

"Who, Clark Kent? Yeah, we're pretty sure he's a Meta. Is he a superhero? Like what, "Lead-detector guy"? "Captain pipes?" Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy and it's a handy trick, but it's lead detection, not laser vision. He's not about to go running around in tights any time soon."

sindri42

I just love the idea of a cape maintaining their secret identity by pretending to be a completely different and less impressive kind of parahuman.

roach-works

everyone assumes that kent is so squirrely around superheros because he’s just desperately hoping not to be conscripted to the JLA to fix their plumbing

teaboot

Local Metropolis Reporter Publically Recognized For Contributions To The City; Awarded Medal Of Distinction

championofdnd

They tried to get superman to present the medal but he was offended at being called "overrated" in comparison to Clark so he declined

teaboot

Counter offer: Bruce Wayne disguised as Superman

teaboot

beating this dead horse with memes

everythingismadeofchaos

Hey this was a real fun little read. It's so great to find these treasures on this site

teaboot

We’re happy to have you!

eclecticopposition

what is THE worst thing you've ever drank. all liquids acceptable. please tell me what it was, bonus points for why

carby

Hey whoa hi. Hello. I am looking directly into your ear canal. What do you mean you drank a tube of virus concentrate.

whyamiherewhosummonedme

So, I was working in a lab, right? My job in the lab was preparing a pure, concentrated enough sample of virus. This is tricky since, y'know, viruses require hosts to replicate, but you then need to get the host cells (and the pieces of the host cells that died!) out of the sample while still keeping the viruses. Once I'd finished and the samples had been sent to the database for analysis as well as a second one sent to be frozen for future reference, there was still some left over that needed to be disposed of.

I, knowing that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, waited carefully for the lab director to be deep in conversation with someone else on the other side of the laboratory. And then I took my chance.

Test tubes, as it turns out, are really bad as shot glasses. Their shape turns any liquid inside into a stream, so you really can't knock it back quickly - it takes a couple seconds. Additionally, the best way I can describe the taste of virus concentrate was "sterile rot". A very unique kind of bad! Made worse by the test tube's inefficiency as a shot glass.

(by the way we were studying bacteriophages, not animal viruses. these viruses are too specialized on attacking prokaryotes to even recognize our cells as targets at all, according to studies.)

(but also like. if the viruses managed to successfully switch hosts and killed me with a violent infection, itd still be worth it.)

(for science.)