Sitting in the Snow

Why can I never find my fucking crowbar. You wouldn't think that it would be an easy tool to misplace.

crowbar is really easy to misplace because it's easy to accidentally Not create a designated place for it because its shape&size make it not fit well into category/shape/purpose based storage systems (Like, "leaning on this wall/corner is where I keep Long Stuff {shovel, spade, rake, outdoor-broom} and this Box is where I keep Short Tools {hammer, pliers, screwdrivers}")

It's also extremely fucking heavy for its size. Necessary for its function, I know, but this adds limitations to storage options that don't exist for things like long-handled garden tools.

i think its fun when people use the trope of vampires thinking that werewolves smell like shit but its especially funny to me when they say a werewolf smells like 'wet dog' . like specifically WET dog? not dry dog? something about werewolves makes them smell damper than any normal dog even if theyre dry as a bone? fascinating implications. wet werewolf vs creepy vampire. much to consider.

every tree grabbed my ass and beat me senseless. so much so that my allergist scribbled more trees! and yet the lovely elm cradled and comforted me

All my haters keep dropping heavy artillery on my position and it's starting to really piss me off

the five trauma reactions: fight, flight, freeze, fawn, and mating

id like if we could keep the alliteration going but i dont know if anyone has made an f word for mating

They haven't sorry

thats fucked up

Geological horror. You find a geode and crack it open and the crystal lining its walls is human blood that can't be genetically matched to anyone. You find a human skeleton but every one of the bones is made from rock, a rock that you know can't be whittled into those shapes. You find layers of clay and loam that sport ancient fossils at the top and the still-rotting corpses of modern animals at the bottom.

This reminds me of the blood river in Antarctica. For like a century scientists had no clue why this river looked like, acted like, and felt exactly like blood. Turns out it’s just really high in iron.

Blood Falls isn't just high in iron, it's the byproducts of extremophile bacteria that have been isolated under a glacier in a iron- and sulfur-rich anoxic brine for the past 5 million years.

Unless you were a tech at NASA back in the day, when one time some hydrogen a) escaped in a particular building, and b) caught on fire. This was extremely difficult because hydrogen does NOT burn on the visible spectrum humans evolved to see (and flee). Rather, it technically does, but it’s so pale that in practice, no one could see it. Additionally, pure hydrogen burns without smoke and with so little ambient heat that you can’t really sense it till you walk into it. So, per the lore, for a few days all the techs in that building just walked around brandishing brooms in front of them like lances. If your broom lit on fire, congrats! You have located more burning hydrogen! Do not proceed!

polyamory is awesome you can tell your girlfriend about your crush

polyamory is terrible, your girlfriend can tease you about your crush.

Turns out the scheming eunuch's love for you is genuine

She is so genuinely beautiful.

its all about the jaws and the paws

i know it's been said on here and said again but people do so desperately need to genuinely do intentional work to build distress tolerance and start figuring out how to recognize the differences between danger, discomfort, and when a situation that is merely uncomfortable is triggering an emotional flashback in your bodies because it resembles a past situation that actually was dangerous which makes it difficult to realize/believe that this moment is merely uncomfortable.