beans

"Kill them with kindness" Nah, fuck that, CRICKET BAT 🏏 🏏🏏🏏*SMACK* 🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏

don't listen to the haters haiku bot you got everything perfect

You just know his ass is saying roo roo

$19.99 to RENT a movie online…we need to start killing these ppl.

When I was your age for $19.99 we used to be able to buy a DVD set at Blockbuster. One of the ones with two DVDs where one was the actual movie and the other was behind-the-scenes, deleted scenes, interviews and bloopers. Also a little paper booklet and cool cover art. And you could watch it all as often as you wanted

bad and naughty children get put in The Pear Wiggler to atone for their crimes

oh wow, long time since i last saw the pear wiggler

I want to see the vampire who lives in this. I bet his name is Chad or Hunter.

And he's ready to crack open a boy with the cold ones.

What?

I have done nothing but reblog bread for the past three days.

Where, where have you been sending it?!

I love how there are more reblogs than likes

This post. This fucking post. I cannot believe after nearly 7 years its still going around. Let alone ON MY OWN DASH! A kid born on the day i posted this would be entering 2nd grade right now.

happy 10 years of reblogging bread

youre a day early. come back tomorrow

The best part is the fact that out of the two of them Martha Stewart was the one who went to prison.

Wait…what?

Wiiiiild. He did commit murder (in self defense - no judging) and America‘s Best Housewife was sent to jail because of insider trading, securities fraud, obstruction of justice and conspiracy. This is wiiiiiild 😄😄😄

also he has every right to make fun of kanye west considering snoop has had a successful career for about two decades including his own cookbook and appearing in movies whereas kanye is a flat earther who had to crowdfund another album because he ran out of money despite kim kardashian being with him, not having the money to produce another album should be the metric when you know you can tell a musician has failed somewhere in either money management or actually being a musician rather then a famous trainwreck

snoop dogg is a good man who loves cooking, nature, and supporting the dreams of young children in poverty. kanye west helped get trump elected.

he says he keeps a supply of poptarts in the house for his nieces/nephews and grandkids but admits theyre really for him and then goes on to discuss what selection of condiments your fridge should have to jazz up leftover takeout hes one of the most thoroughly human humans ive ever known of

Doesn’t he also coach football for kids, and stops smoking during the season to set a good example for the kids?

all these people going on about how Hozier is the peak representation of musical soft masculinity when Snoop has been out here rocking the smoothest braids and most hype manicures for decades

Have you seen his Planet Earth voiceover video? It’s the best thing I’ve ever heard. Man knows nothing about otters

whenever i ask my little brother something he starts aggressively mewing at me, what the fuck

mewing like looksmaxxing or mewing like the sound cats make ?

looksmaxxing 😭😭😭

Also: while we’re doing checkpoints, make sure you’re on WiFi and not data

And unclench your jaw

If you need to use the bathroom you have to do that now

Please get that drink of water and remember your meds

If you can’t remember the last time you showered/brushed your teeth here’s your sign to try and do those today

Set an alarm for tomorrow if you need to!

don’t forget the laundry in your drier

This was very helpful, I took my meds and had a shower.

If you haven’t yet slain thine enemies, take a quick break and do that

At first I was like, “Aw, he’s discovering icy crusty snow for the first time, cute!” and then I was like “Oh NO, he’s REALLY discovering icy crusty snow for the first time, RIP”

I can’t stop watching this, it so perfectly encapsulates the feeling of admiring how incredible and beautiful snow can be and then immediately being inconvenienced by it like “oh, yeah, that’s right, fuck this shit”

this gets funnier every year 

The year is 2042. Your daughter is awkwardly silent as she eats her dinner. “Something wrong sweetie?” She sighs and puts down her fork. “I was digging really deep in AO3 last night…Why didn’t you finish that coffee shop au?” It happened. Your past has come back to haunt you. Nay, it never truly left.

U CANNOT OUTRUN UR CRIME

OKAY BUT WAIT. This has happened to me. Recently. Because I am old and I have things out there from previous fandoms with previous pseuds and one day my teenager begins a rant at me about people never finishing any WIPs on the pit of voles (which he does not call the pit of voles because he has No Knowledge of such a thing but yet he still reads on which I didn’t think anyone did any longer) and he points out an example to me of something I WROTE AND LEFT WIPing for ages and he has NO IDEA #1 that his mom wrote this and #2 How much it still haunts me to this day that it will. sit. there. for. eternity. because I am too lazy to pull it down.

oh my god

Every year, this becomes both more funny, and more painful, and for both of those reasons, it should never be lost or forgotten.

I love how gay people do it too. Just… really? You’re literally saying the same shit to bisexuals that straight people say to you, and you don’t see the hypocrisy? 

If youre biphobic or hate bisexuals, fucking unfollow me, for serious.

^^^

If youre biphobic or hate bisexuals, fucking unfollow me, for serious.

Why is this a thing like really? Homosextual people of ALL beings should understand that you like what you like and if the answer multiple choice then that’s just more love to go around non?

BY REBLOGGING THIS YOU ARE SAYING THAT YOUR BLOG IS COMPLETELY ACCEPTING OF BI FOLKS!!! BISEXUAL PEOPLE ARE PART OF THE LGBT+ COMMUNITY AND IF YOU DISAGREE, PLEASE UNFOLLOW ME

BY REBLOGGING THIS YOU ARE SAYING THAT YOUR BLOG IS COMPLETELY ACCEPTING OF BI FOLKS!!! BISEXUAL PEOPLE ARE PART OF THE LGBT+ COMMUNITY AND IF YOU DISAGREE, PLEASE UNFOLLOW ME

Not BI myself, but have friends who are BI. So If you have a problem with them, you have a problem with me.

Panic

I honestly felt like crying when I read those biphobic comments. If you’re a biphobe, hate bisexuals, or think bisexuality isn’t valid, please unfollow me. I’m bisexual, and if you try to send me any kind of hate you will be sorry.

On this blog we stan bisexuals!

WE STAN BISEXUALS

RESPECT BISEXUALS OR BE GLOCKED

Dating a bisexual is probably the best out of them all.

Bis are LOVELY

I fight these biphobic shitheads ʕง•ᴥ•ʔง

BISEXUALS I LOVE YOU ALL💙💜💖

To all bisexuals and biromantics who are comfortable with it, here’s a hug from an ace mom friend! 🤗 You’re beautiful human beings and we love you!!

^^^!!

The “bisexuals are hypersexual” argument is so funny to me because well 1 how does that make your sexual preferences invalid???? And 2 I’M bisexual and I’m diving ACEFLUX LMAO

Man when I read those posts at the start I felt like shit but after reading all the positive comments under I fell a lot better. Any biphobes who come near can square the fuck up because I will throw hands.

BI PEOPLE ARE VALID AND I WILL STAND BY THAT

MY FELLOW BI’S RISE UP-

HELL YEAH