Fun Fact: Not A Guy

Goddamit i hate this fucking post. I hate it because obviously if “twelve” followed the same pattern as the other teen numbers it wouldn’t be “twoteen” it would be “seconteen”. Think about it. It’s not “threeteen” it’s “thirteen” as in “third”. It’s not “fiveteen” it’s “fifteen” as in fifth. So with that in mind, you count “first, second, third, fourth, fifth,” and so on, so eleven would be “firsteen” and twelve would be “secondteen” or “seconteen”. “Firsteen, seconteen, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen….” It just drives me absolutely mad everytime i see this post that this obvious pattern was overlooked and i cant hold in my rage anymore.

The princess I kidnapped and keep locked in my tower recently got on tumblr and has since been complaining that I don't respect her 'hmphs' enough. I'm not sure she understands our relationship.

The new maid who took me to this nice summer home doesn't seem to be listening to me? Even though I'm literally going "hmph!"

There's no better case for socialism than the world's first trillionaire being a massive loser who cosplays as his mom and baby online and lies about being good at video games in an attempt to give his life meaning.

‘Nuclear Family Month’ is so funny as a concept. I have never seen a nuclear family worth celebrating.

The Addams

✿＼(｡-_-｡) “Kick his ass, baby.  I got yo flower.”

thanks for ruining my post jackass

(￣^￣ﾒ)＼✿ "Fine, I'ma keep ya damn flower.“  

Blackout poetry exists on a dual axis from "banal" to "insightful" on the input side and "kind of deep" to "incredibly fucking dumb" on the output side, and while taking something banal and producing something kind of deep is well and fine, for my money taking something insightful and rendering it incredibly fucking dumb is where the real art is.

#i stuck the word 'banal' in there twice specifically so that 'anal' would be low hanging fruit#but i genuinely did not anticipate 'banana' --@prokopetz

and what if I told you guys that virtually everyone you ever meet will turn out to be really interesting if you give them a chance

some real miserable fucks in the notes I fear

I'm not even saying you have to talk to every single person you meet. and you're certainly not going to LIKE all of them. but every person does have a rich interior life and complex feelings and unique worldview. sorry.

this is truly one of the most tumblr posts i've ever seen. i know chronically online people exist in all corners of the internet but i feel like this is the only place where someone could say something as uncontroversial as "you will find out that people have personalities when you talk to them" and get responses like "oh so you're making the ABLEIST assertion that i should FORCE MYSELF to push past my SOCIAL ANXIETY to talk to BIGOTS????" amazing work, guys

I don't know which of you needs to hear this but "narc" is not short for "narcissist" when someone calls you a "narc" for snitching they are calling you a "narcotics officer"

technically narc isnt even short for narcotics officer its just cant for Cop, I believe Roma in origin

I read years ago in a book that it was derived from nakk, Romani for nose, as in someone who always has their nose in other people's business

ITS DERIVED FROM "NARCO" AS IN "NARCOTICS" WHAT FUCKING BOOK

Etymology is always doing some shit like this

Convergent evolution.

Linguistic crab

Two entire linguistic traditions have merged to remind you not to be a fuckin narc

reblogging a funny low note count textpost on your dash made by your mutual's mutual kinda feels like walking up to two strangers on the street and laughing loudly at their joke

this is like dusting off an ancient relic

I always forget Americans have sinks that kill everything

I'm so fucking scared of these things.

I genuinely don't understand those sinks. Why do they exist? Why is that necessary? What the heck are you putting down your sinks that necessitates that??? Genuinely curious.

both trans men and trans women are punished for our proximity to both feminity and masculinity. people decide when we are men or women based on what is the WORST option at the moment. we both get treated like women only when someone needs to infantalize us or call us bossy, bitchy, stupid, vapid. we both get treated like men when someone wants to demonize and paint us as violent, predatory, abusive, perverted. NONE of us are benefiting from any gendered privilege, because we are always treated like the worst of either gender depending on the scenario. this is something all trans people experience, regardless of agab, both trans men and trans women. so why do we assume that the other side has the opposite experience as us?? why do you think that because your life as a trans man or a trans woman is painful, that a trans person of a different gender must have the opposite experience?? like i just dont get the preschool level understanding of gender like "well boys and girls are opposites so of course our experiences are opposites too" we are living the same transphobia and if you cant see it you need to listen to other people more