Parents: "children should be taught that actions have consequences"
Okay, let them stay up till 5 in the morning and feel like shit for the next day, eat a bag of candy in one go and have a huge stomach ache, go out without an umbrella and catch a cold, watch a violent movie and get scared?
Parents: "actually, we mean screaming and beating the crap out of them when they try to do these things"
Yes and no.
Corporal punishment should never be used against a child but letting them simply experience the consequences of doing something does not always work either.
I teach kindergarten and most kids that age cannot make the linear connection between "I stayed up really late" and "I'm really tired and grumpy".
There is simply too much time between action and consequence.
Instead, you as the adult have to provide a consequence in the moment for if the behavior continues.
Taking away a favorite activity for a selected amount of time is a good one.
An example from my own childhood:
- children at daycare are not allowed to play with big sticks because they could hurt themselves or others
- the actual consequence of being hurt by the sticks is both too abstract and too risky to be the used consequence
- instead, children are denied part of free play time
- if a child is playing with big sticks, they are given a warning that they will lose part of free play if they do it again
- children does it again because they do not believe that the consequence will happen
- consequence happens and they miss out on fun
- child now connects the action (playing with big sticks) to something they don't like (not getting to play) and no longer perform the action
- once they are older, they can understand the why of playing big sticks is dangerous
- but until then they need something real to ensure that they don't keep doing the dangerous thing
