Katie

get a bit of hope, you get

a cute birb photo

Recently I had a conversation with another Supernatural fan. We were discussing John Winchester’s parenting, and how some people believe John was a nice guy in the first season until the writers changed the originally intended purpose of John’s character. I’d just to like to take a moment right now to say John Winchester being a bad parent is nothing new. John Winchester was not father of the year season one, nor was he former father of the year for season two. The writers didn’t create some happy go lucky, fun loving, emotionally intelligent, understanding father and then decide to change him for plot purposes.

I think we can all agree that yes, John is a complicated character who can’t simply be ‘all good’ or ‘all bad.’ Complexity is part of what makes characters interesting- one sided, never developing characters are boring and don’t last very long. John watched his wife, the woman he loved, burn alive on the ceiling of his infant son’s bedroom- of course the guy was going to make mistakes. He was definitely put in a horrible situation, and John only did what he thought was best. John kept his sons with him (except for those stretches of three of four days when the boys would be alone but hey whatever) because he wanted to make sure they were safe. John trained his boys so they could protect themselves if they were ever in the situation that John could not protect his boys (and it definitely came in handy) because he thought that was for the best. John gave his boys the weapons to protect themselves and the knowledge to know how to do so because he thought it was best.

But did John really think it was for the best to give his eight year old son alcohol? ”But it was probably just a taste,” readers shout. “What kid doesn’t want to ‘be a man’ like his dad? It’s not uncommon for kids to have a sip of alcohol once or twice in their childhood! Everybody loves Bobby and he was the town drunk!”

John drank too much, he raised one son who drank too much and two sons who grew up thinking alcohol was a coping mechanism for failures. See 3x10 Dream a Little Dream of Me.

Dean: There you are. What are you doing?

Sam: Having a drink.

Dean: It’s two in the afternoon. You’re drinking whiskey?

Sam: I drink whiskey all the time.

Dean: No, you don’t.

Sam: What’s the big deal? You get sloppy in bars, you hit on chicks all the time. Why can’t I?

Dean: It’s kind of slim pickings around here. What’s going on with you?

Sam: I tried, Dean.

Dean: To do what?

Sam: To save you. I mean, where you’re going… what you’re gonna become. I can’t stop it.

See how the Winchesters work? Failure to protect family at all costs= personal failure, personal failure= inexcusable wrongdoing, inexcusable wrongdoing= sadness, sadness= no closure that’s for sure because emotions are only for women because only women have feelings and being like a woman is wrong? All of that = drinking instead of honestly discussing feelings or, you know, something which is actually healthy and productive. And of course that kind of mentality has tainted their relationships with other characters (Dean and Sam are responsible for their own choices but how much easier would it be for them to communicate with each other and others if they had been raised to honest and open?).

“But Cas didn’t even show up until season four, John didn’t have an impact on his son’s lack of friends!”

*cough*

*cough*

…Whether you like John or not, we can all agree that Dean’s main coping mechanism is drinking.

“John wasn’t actually an alcoholic- we never even saw him drink! That’s something new that the writers made up!

Dean: Um. Dad hasn’t been home in a few days.

Sam: So he’s working overtime on a Miller Time shift. He’ll stumble back in sooner or later.

- THE FIRST EPISODE OF THE SHOW

You can see the impact John had over his sons long before he died, even when John was alive things were difficult. There were lines the boys did not cross, things they did not say, things they did not do. And one man they were not supposed to question

I’ll just… leave these here. 

(Dean protecting Sam from their dad because Dean will always protect Sam, Sam arguing with John because he’s watched Dean be belittled his entire life and let me tell you that does not make for a comfortable sibling-parent relationship because you see your parent as a threat to your sibling, a threat to someone you love. In this case, not only did Sam love Dean but Dean was his parent. So Sam grew up watching John yell at Dean and belittle him as they drove around the country, Sam watched John abuse his big brother, his caretaker, his best friend.)

And John’s huge emphasis on family and loyalty caused Sam and Dean to think it was wrong to pursue individual happiness, that going after what you want (for example, a career as a lawyer, a loving possible future fiancé, making friends, etc) was selfish and a waste of time. I mean Sam’s “rebellious phase” was going to school…

Dean: And that’s why you ran away.

Sam: I was just going to college. It was Dad who said if I was gonna go I should stay gone. And that’s what I’m doing.

Dean: Yeah, well, Dad’s in real trouble right now. If he’s not dead already. I can feel it.

Sam spent his entire life trying to fit in, all he ever did was study for school- to get into one of the best school’s in the country- and all of his hard work that his father responded to with “If you’re gonna go you should stay gone” is brushed off with a single, “Yeah, well.” AKA Your personal accomplishments don’t matter Sammy because we were raised thinking that happiness lived and died with family.

When Sam (Sam, who never got to have a relationship with his mom; Sam, who spent his entire life switching schools; Sam, who had to start over on different curriculum with new kids and new teachers his entire life; Sam, who always argued with his dad and didn’t feel comfortable telling him anything; Sam, whose childhood was consumed with “being a freak”) was finally benefiting from his years of hard work and was able to proudly (but he probably didn’t say it proudly because school wasn’t what John wanted for Sam so of course he wouldn’t be proud of Sam’s work) say he was accepted into one of the best schools in the entire country with a FULL RIDE, what does his dad do? His dad tells him to get out, to leave the only family- the only life- he’s ever known, and stay gone.

Don’t forget that even if Sam gave up everything he had spent his entire life working towards (Stanford, being a lawyer, being with college friends, working through what happened to Jess instead of hunting) it wouldn’t have been enough because Sam had demon blood in him, Sam was evil.

Anything outside of the norm is considered a monster and monsters are wrong.

Yes, it was canon that a father told his eldest son he would have to murder his little brother (John’s baby, a child) if he became something John wouldn’t want him to be.

So aside from the whole ‘all of your accomplishments are selfish, wanting anything for yourself mean you’re selfish and want people to die, I’m going to abuse your big brother in front of you as you grow up because that won’t complicate our relationship, you know when I’m not abusing/neglecting you, oh and also I’m okay with you being murdered if it comes down to it and what you are is wrong and evil’ John and Sam apparently had the better of the two father son relationships?

Don’t even get me started on Dean.

‘You’re still not good enough, Dean. You ruined this car, you ruined something I gave to you- I wouldn’t have given you the impala if I knew you were going to ruin it. If  you don’t touch up your car (do as I say) it’ll get even worse, because the only right way to do things is my way. If you’re not pleasing John Winchester then what you’re doing has no value or purpose.’

Maybe if John looked around once in a while he could see that his children

are really good

smart

caring people

who deserve better.

And I’m all about family loyalty but we’ve seen over and over and over again that if Dean or Sam were to lose one another they would feel personally responsible, they would blame themselves for the work of demons or angels or monsters- because it’s their job, their responsibility to look out for one another, to save one another. They will always be responsible for one another, if something happens to one of them it is automatically the other brother’s fault.

No Sam, don’t you get it? Can’t you see how Dean (a child) was responsible for you, not your dad who was god knows where?

That’s not poor parenting, oh no.

… You see how this thinking is kind of unhealthy?

‘Sorry I couldn’t find a way to bring your dead body back to life, this is clearly my fault because obviously bringing a dead person back to life is super easy. I didn’t save you; I didn’t protect my family so I’m a failure.’

And this is just the first two seasons! I didn’t even get to

this

or this

or this (Because living any other kind of life- not being a hunter- would mean failing to save people, it would mean innocent people would die due to Sam or Dean’s selfish desires. Wanting a happy life= selfishness)

or this

(“And when dad got home…”) or this.

Giving Parker and Sophie some love!

Bonus: Hardison being pathetic.