hey it's me :•)

My ten thousand year reign of doom, darkness and unrepentant slaughter has had to be put on hold because I have a headache

Everybody in the club Yield to my will

ive been honing my ability by the way

im not really worried about aging because im only going to become hotter and more insane the older i get

It's actually super unethical to keep a peeve as a pet

i am so glad its not my job to go to the moon i would have no idea how to do that

"lezzing out" is basically one of the most noble activities one can do

accidentally let slip "you will be buried in my pyramid when I die" to a coworker last week btw

www.destroyedandbetrayedyourselffornothing.com/careers

breaking news: the lands most courageous knight has started responding to kissy noises from its lord

nobody else doing it like me. particularly because the way i’m doing it is needlessly difficult

The village folk are singing mean-spirited songs about me around the maypole again

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

gender affirming peg leg and hook hand

I aim to one day be as cunty as Mathew Baynton in the Dick Turpin Song from Horrible Histories

Fuck small talk.  Let’s talk about how your day was, the weather, or the big game last night.

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over