If a Tree Falls on a Mime, Does it Make a Sound?

hey welcome to my evil lair, good job beating my minions. yeah hold on before i fight you let me just stand directly underneath this massive iron chandelier held up by four ropes connected to big stakes at each corner of the room. like an idiot

Somehow cutting the ropes does not change its balance or make it swing away from the middle of the room; all four are redundantly holding it up from the dead center. I just like how the ropes look.

well, you know what they say—to hang a large and dangerous chandelier, you need 4 ropes attached to sconces with 50 hp apiece at each corner of the room

reading this as someone who does cross stitch but is scared of the other kinds of embroidery is like overhearing an incredibly tall and buff person say they have beef with Mr. Tom, the kitten that chills at the bookstore

FUCK Mr. Tom and his stupid little fluffy tail ok. And his little charted designs.

Okay, but this neglects the true villain of embroidery stitches: the French knot

Don't you dare malign my girl again

Ok the french knot is very useful but it is a BITCH to do it consistently

We talk about how this website’s hate mail game is insane, but this might just be a new level

"skill issue" made entirely from French knots is a next level roast. no coming back from that one. damn

my dad's wildlife photography would do numbers on here

can I get a job as an editor but the only thing I do is correct when someone uses the word "prone" when they mean "supine"

using "what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament" to mean "yeah i made an embarrassing reference but you understood it which is also embarrassing" is very funny to me

my favorite part is that absolutely nobody says this except here. so if you use it in public, it's a dead giveaway that you spent the last ten years on tumblr. but then again, they recognized it, which means they were at the devil's sacrament

At a certain point, the appropriate response to "What were you doing at the devil's sacrament" becomes "stealing shoelaces from the president."

Reblog if you were stealing shoelaces from the President

Well what ELSE were we supposed to do at the devil's sacrament????

thankfully most of us would rather see this place burn to the ground than hand over more information to staff so this kind of thing isn't going to do any good