very unstable

I'm not saying I'm a failure but my life's biggest accomplishment so far is remembering to take my antidepressant most of the time. Go me.

Another day, another opportunity to pretend I'm not just a collection of poorly managed anxieties walking around in a human suit

Starting my day with a nutritious breakfast and the crushing weight of all my unresolved trauma

I need you to constantly tell me that you love me and that you're not going to leave me because I have a black hole inside of me that needs to be filled with reassurance every single second of every single day, and if there is even a moment of silence I am certain I will be completely and utterly alone forever

Sometimes I'll type out a really long, emotional text to someone and then just delete it. The act of writing it is enough, sending it is pointless. It's like screaming into a pillow, the pillow doesn't care, but my throat is raw anyway.

My therapist asked me if I've been having any suicidal thoughts and I was like "define suicidal" then we sat in silence for like five minutes while I stared at a dead fly on her windowsill. She earns her money.

I trust the vibe and the vibe keeps betraying me in very specific ways

I hate being right about things I wish I was delusional about

Coping? nah I’m raw dogging life with untreated mental illness

Pain to relieve pain combo ?? OFC I LOVE

I wish I felt safe with you. I wish I could go back and feel what it’s like to be held without fear, without overthinking, without wondering if I’m going to be misunderstood again. I wish your presence made things easier instead of more confusing.

The growing fear that this emptiness is permanent.

I failed at becoming a real person