#abandonment issues

"THAAAATCH" you call out as you burst into the kitchen and speed over to him almost colliding with multiple of your siblings who are busy rushing around preparing food for when you arrive on the next, quickly approaching island.

"Christ!"

"Careful!"

"Sorry!" you call back with a wild giggle as you skid to a stop next to Thatch almost smashing into his back.

He is standing in front of a stove mixing some kind of soup in a massive pot. It smells really good and it makes your mouth water.

Looking down at you Thatch smiles softly.

"Hey pumpkin, you need something?" He says reaching down his free hand to ruffle your hair.

"Can you play with me?" You ask giving him the best puppy dog eyes you could pull off. you had found out very quickly what a kicked puppy look targeted at the chef could get you from getting treats when you were already told no more to a hoard of toys and stuffed animals that you couldn't even try to carry. Your eyes truly were powerful little things.

Thatch averted his eyes from you immediately knowing your tricks like the back of his hand by now and as much as he would love to play with you he just can't spare the time right now "sorry no can do kiddo. I need to make sure everything goes smoothly in here" he says patting your head gently before pulling away and moving to check on something else on a nearby stove.

You follow after him with a huff "why do you have to do that? Can't Dawn?" you ask pointing towards her as she speeds past with a tray in her hands, she snickers under her breath at that and you soot her a glare which would have just caused more laughter if she had seen it.

"Because she is busy making food, she wont be able to check in on everything else while also trying to get that done and its kinda my job to make sure the all the cooking goes well being the division commander and all" he says with a small laugh at the end.

That's not the answer you wanted at all so you decide to just pivot back to begging "please Thatch! Just for a bit…" you whine as you start pout at him and tug on him pant leg to try and get him to at you again.

"I really can't right now kiddo… Maybe check if Izou can play with you? I'm pretty sure he's free right now" he says still doing his best to not look down at you so he isn't trapped by you pouting face.

You continue to pout at him for a few more moments hoping he will give in to your begging but it becomes blatantly obvious to you that its just not going to happen. Grumbling under your breath as you turn and walk away you decide to do what Thatch told you and try and find Izou, he's a lot less fun then Thatch but you still like playing with him so its not the worst thing ever. He could have told you to go to Fossa and though you find it extremely funny that he doesn't know what to do with you because of his inexperience with kids your age that isn't what you want right now.

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It didn't take long to find Izou, he was in the training room with a few other members of his division as well as Vista's. Izou himself wasn't training but was overseeing everyone else to see any progress they have made and to make sure no one goes to far.

You skitter up behind him and grab onto his kimono to give it a small tug making him look down at you "Izou! Play with me!" you demand trying to pull the same puppy eyes you did to Thatch on him.

"No" he replies without a second thought as he looks away form you and back to your dueling crewmate's. You blink up at him surprised at how quickly he just brushed you off without a single care.

"You didn't even think about it!" you whine and give another tug to his clothes. Usually he at least pretends to consider it when he tells you no but right now he's just being mean.

"I don't have to, I'm preoccupied right now" he makes a small gesture to everyone in front of the two of you.

"Can't you have someone else watch them?" you ask even though you already have an idea of what his answer is going to be.

"I could, but I want to see the progress they have made has made" He says not taking his eyes away from were they lay on them, a small proud smile on his face "now why don't you go? I don't want you getting hurt by anyone on accident" he says glancing down at you with a stern look.

A feeling you can't pin point bubbles up in your chest as you stare at him not really knowing what to do, but when he looks down at you aging and raises his eyebrow you let out a huff and stomp off.

"You're boring anyway" there isn't any real bite in your words as you mutter them, instead they sound disappointed and shaky.

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As your storming off to no were in particular you walk though an open door leading to one of the many storage rooms on the ship and surprisingly you stumble upon Curiel and Rakuyo playing a game of cards. For a moment you just stared at them remember that they had been banned form doing so just last week after they almost threw each other over board, that was fun to watch though Marco had forced you to go to your room once he noticed you watching since he thought you were to young to see violence like that. Which was really stupid given you are a pirate but you can't really say no when he tells you to do something.

The ban was probably lifted though, that's the only way they could be playing now after all.

"I'm gonna beat your fucking ass and get my money back" Rakuyo grumbles as he shuffles the deck.

They don't seem to have noticed you as you walk up behind Rakuyo and stand beside a stack of boxes. You didn't want to interrupt their conversation so you just wait for one of them to notice you.

Curiel barks out a laugh smirking at Rakuyo in the smuggest way possible "yeah right! I'll have your entire divisions savings at this rate!"

"No you fucking wont!"

"Oh yeah? how do you know that jackass?"

"Because I have a plan this time-"

Usually you are a lot more patient but you are desperate to play with anyone at this point so you break rather quickly and interrupt them abruptly "can I play with you two?" you say making both of them jump and Rakuyo drop the deck of cards onto the ground.

"Holy shi-" Rakuyo cuts himself off from saying something by clamping his mouth shut and you give him a confused look.

Rakuyo and Curiel glance between each other and you multiple times with a look of dread on their faces. You don't understand at all of course, you just asked to play with them, what's wrong with that? The ban is lifted so why does it matter?

"How much of what we said did you hear?" Curiel asks nervously and you just shrug.

"I came in when Rakuyo said he was going to beat your fu-" Rakuyo's hand is suddenly covering your mouth preventing you from continuing any further and you just give him another look of pure and utter confusion.

"You never saw us here or heard us say any of that alright?" Rakuyo says as he scrambles to his feet to pick you up making you let out a small yelp at the sudden movement. He starts speed walking to the door "if you do say that word say Ace taught you" he plops you down right outside and gives your head a quick pat "but don't say it at all alright?"

You quickly turn to face him "wait I want-" he shuts the door in your face and you can hear the click of the lock "to play with you…" you finish off your sentence despite knowing he wont hear you though the thick wood door.

Disappointment rushes through you and tears well in your eyes. Reaching your arm up you rub the tears from your eyes and taking a deep breath to calm yourself. Its not like they were your last option, you still have hundreds of people who would love to spend time with you right now!

Its fine!

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No one was willing to stop what they were doing and spend time with you.

No one.

Haruta was busy making calls to the island you all were approaching making sure everything was in line, Marco and the nurses were going over their stock of medicine to figure out what they will need to get, Blamenco, Atmos, Blenheim, Jozu, and Fossa were moving crates and barrels with the help of some of the others who weren't otherwise preoccupied to make it easier to unload when you dock, Vista had gone and joined Izou so you didn't even bother trying to ask him, you had no idea where Kingdew and Jiru were despite looking all over for them, Namur had gone ahead and swam to the island to make sure things were good so you never got the chance to ask him, and Ace had also gone to the island shortly after Namer due to Jozu getting annoyed at him for not doing anything while everyone else worked.

You had gone up to every person you could see and asked them to spend time with you, you even stopped asking to play to try and get someone to agree but every one of them had some type of excuse to not be around you.

You were so tempted to go to Pops and try to get him to pay attention to you at this point but with how everyone else was being there's no way he would want to spend time with you either, no one dose. They all seemed to want you gone right now.

Maybe that's why they want to stop here, so they can leave.

Fear strikes you hard and all you can do is watch everyone as they rush around as they start to bring things down onto the dock now that the ship has finally reached the island.

Their gonna leave you here and you're gonna be alone again.

All Alone.

It makes full cense to you. Normally, they are all over you literally fighting over who gets to spend time with you but today it all stopped no one has even asked if you want to play with them your the one who had to ask. Its the exact same thing your old family did to you before leaving you in the middle of the sea on a barely floating boat, they smothered you in all the love you could hope for before dumping you to die. You never thought this would happen to you again.

It feels like something is crushing your chest as you stand on the deck not knowing what to do about the revelation you have just made about your situation and you stay like that until finally an idea comes to you, if their going to leave you here anyway why don't you just leave yourself? That way you wont have to experience calling out to them begging for them to come back like you did in the past.

It wasn't hard to sneak off the ship with how much chaos was going on both on and off the ship with a big portion of the crew moving up and down as they move crates and barrels off to get refilled with supplies. You had simply stuck to one of the taller members of the crew's shadow trying you best to not be spotted and surprisingly it worked quite well, so well that you made it all the way to the near by forest without being spotted at all.

You looked back at the ship watching everyone move for a long minute wondering if you were making the right choice but you shook that feeling off knowing there really wasn't any other option for you. The forest was quite dark despite it being early in the day making every shadow feel like its going to jump out at you at any second.

It takes a while for you to find a spot you deem good enough to hide in that isn't scary but when you do you feel a sense of relief wash over you.

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You some how managed to fall asleep in the tight crevasse between a tree and a rock you squeezed yourself into you have no idea how this little hiding spot was made since it just looked unnatural but you weren't going to complain about it. You probably would have been able to sleep for a lot longer if the sound of voices didn't rouse you. Grogginess still had a tight grasp over you as your eyes slowly blinked open and in your daze of sleep you just about called out to the voices but luckily for you the loud snap of a branch right outside your hiding spot made you snap awake with a jolt halting any words you were about to let slip out in place of a gasp.

Whoever that was didn't seem to hear your small quiet gasp over their own loud call of your name and for that you were immensely grateful you don't want to be found by them, you just wanna be left alone in this little nook. There were so many voices both near and far calling out to you practically begging you to come out and that confused you. Why are they looking? They were going to leave you! You know that's what they were planing there is no other explanation for everything that has happened today this has to be the case there is no room for anything diffrent to be the case.

right?

The stead fast belief you have been gripping onto since you left the ship cracks ever so slightly, only enough to place a nagging voice in the back of your head nothing more.

"What the fuck man" that voice catches your attention. Scooting forward slowly and carefully so you don't make any noise you peak out of the opening to see Ace crouched down looking at the ground with a worried look on his face. It surprised you to see him looking so solemn he was always smiling and trying to make you laugh so to see him like this was so jarring that you didn't know what to even think about it.

"Any luck commander?" someone—you can't tell who due to how far they are asks

"No" Ace yells back flatly not lifting his gaze from the ground as he falls back onto his ass with a loud long sigh. He glares at the ground like it is the thing that swallowed you up and made you disappear. For all they know that could be the case. They have zero idea where you are and even with this island being controlled by them that does not mean it is free of danger. There are wild animals that could eat you whole and sink holes that could do the same. There were also the people and as much as they would like it to be the case they can't know if everyone on any of the islands have good intentions so anything could happen if the wrong person got their hands on you.

A pit forms in your stomach and you can't stop the nagging voice form getting louder. What if you had over reacted? What if you are being dramatic? Your parents always did say that you were a pain to deal with. That's why they had left you in the first place. Maybe they weren't going to leave you but now that you acted out like this, caused all of them to worry so much they would decide that you are to much trouble and should stay here for your own good.

Your thought spiral more and more as you stare at Ace, he's looking at the sky now with a massive frown across his face. The rest of the voices are farther away now and it looks like he is about to get up and continue to help in the search for you, but instead he turns his head towards you and you two make direct eye contact.

You feel like you heart is in your throat as his eyes widen. You want to move, to go back into the hole so you are out of his reach but you can't your frozen.

"Y/n!" he yells and you don't even get a chance to try and snap out of it to scramble back into your little hiddy hole before he is able to grab hold of you and pulls you out, he holds you close to his chest in a tight hug squeezing you so hard you think you ribs are being crushed.

"Do you know how worried we all were? Why did you run off like that?!" he asks his voice sounding shaky from worry.