time to make a post on tumblr. surely no one will interpret it to be as offensive and bad intentioned as possible.

GLaDOS voice: "Would you like to see some artwork I generated? I've heard from other test subjects that AI-generated artwork produces an uncanny valley response in human viewers because they can't perceive it as fully real. They've told me that it looks absolutely hideous to them, that they can't imagine anything more disgusting than AI art. But, well I've been practicing and wanted your honest opinion. Feel free to let me know how ugly you find this by ranking it on a scale from 'vomit-inducing' to 'eye-bleeding'." A robotic arm lowers from the ceiling holding a hand mirror up to Chell's face

they hate me because the years of memory loss has purified my mind

petition to change LGBT to DFTQ (Dykes Faggots Trannies and Queers, naturally)

happy pride everyone

I want to write my fanfic <- isn’t writing my fanfic

Jumping from child care to private security really messes with you. I keep saying "oopsie daisy" and encouraging drunk folks to "go home, drink some water and take a nap, and let's try again in 24 hours, okay?" Best part by far is that it's working. Guy went like he was going to fight me the other day and his buddy said "you leave the nice lady alone"

The flip side of "children are human" is that hey a bunch of things that work on kids also work on adults who would've guessed.

I have a folder on my work computer labeled "approving GIFs" and when one of the project managers or engineers does something helpful (or does something correctly the first time I ask), I send them an approving GIF. When I had to work in an office, I gave out actual gold star stickers for the same reasons.

fucked up in the club asking the dj to play flight of the bumblebee

labubu was meant to be hanging off a kindergartners backpack filthy as fuck with no eyes left

i love sowing. i fucking l- [sees someone reaping] kill that guy.

mutuals can always dm me but be warned i talk like your coworker who is trying too hard to get to know you and my response times are akin to the response times you might get if we were communicating by letter

“who is linkin park?” - one shot KO by my younger coworker