alive dead girl

that scene in matilda where miss honey finally snaps and yells “because shes a spectacularly wonderful child and i love her!” > all of quentin tarantino’s filmography 

thinking about the horror of the scenes in which nikki wets herself, and also throws up on her front/the floor from bodily stress and trauma while waiting for bear to get home. the intention of it being unclear to the audience if wetting herself is the real nikki doing so out of fear, OR the simple fact of entity nikkis apparent and clear indifference to bodily care. why would she hold or attain any semblance of looking after herself/her body? if you are a being created solely to love someone else and exist for them, you would just soil where you stand and not understand what looking after your physical body even looks like. like can you imagine. your complete creational purpose is to love someone else, not yourself. there's no road map for self care. nikki needs to be told when to shower, or when to clean herself up. its just another layer of the grim, awful cruelty bear inflicted on both nikki and the entity and its making me claw at the walls.