:3

Spent about ten minutes yesterday searching through my backpack for the heavy object that was making it heavy but eventually I had to accept that a bag which only contains light objects can be heavy, throuvh the process of addition. It feels unjust to me. I have the same problem with purchases. It feels wrong to me that buying ten cheap things is expensive

y'know i don't really love how people use "butch" interchangeably with "handy"

*north american approaching lesbian couple* so which one of you is useful and which one of you is the woman

DARE by gorillaz might be the perfect song

it must be so freeing to be as stupid as a ceo. not a single thought echoing through that hollowed out skull. you get paid more money in 20 minutes than a handful of small countries make in a year combined to say the biggest number you can think of and if your company doesn’t hit that number you get to fire all of them

hard cider was invented when someone decided to make beer that tastes good instead of bad

stupid fuckin post. People have been making beer since before they even knew how to write and you think that they don’t like the way it tastes?

damn all that time and it still tastes really bad. huge L tbh

can't believe the only options are 30 minutes early or 10 minutes late. if only there were some other way. but what can you do

“Cave Johnson here. I just got a memo from the president saying that earth is being invaded by a multiversal alien empire. In light of earth’s imminent subjugation and or destruction, we are suspending the radioactive sports drinks tests for the duration of the crisis. That’s the bad news. Good news is we have a new, better test to replace it with: Opening a portal inside the heart of a star to make it go supernova, so we can see what that does to the Dyson Sphere around it. Those of you who volunteered to be turned into transhuman athletes with cells powered by cold fusion, go ahead and take the elevator to the Atomic Gymnasium, we didn’t have time to change the signs. Grab a hazard suit, a portal gun, and a camera. I want to rub this is Wallace Breen’s face so if you come back with any film left over you’re fired.”

getting into linguistics sucks because you will start listening to your friends' conversations thinking "wow! your vowels are fascinating!" but obviously you can never tell them this because you'll sound like a madman. and god forbid you ever meet a non-native speaker, because you'll start looking like a racist pervert every time they use non-standard grammar.

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

remember when "don't assume everyone on the internet is a man" used to be like, the most average mildly liberal cisgender feminist opinion. But the moment a trans woman starts complaining about it you get the "listen my guy,"

At this point frankly you could fill a book with the list of stances that were considered basic milquetoast liberal feminist essentials fifteen years ago that have been completely abandoned specifically because they conflict with transmisogyny

there's a delicate balance between "seeing something on my dash so often i end up caring about it unexpectedly" and "seeing something on my dash so often that it gets added to the blocked list with extreme prejudice"