Someone Fight Me Already

PROBLEM ONE CAN BE SOLVED BY USING YOUR OTHER ARM?

WE ARE IN A BRAVE NEW FRONTIER

can we bring back the term "fair-weather friend" bc I feel like if fair-weather friends got called that more this whole argument about whether or not you should be there for your friends when it's inconvenient/at what point of personal inconvenience it's ok to bail on your friends would kinda fall apart bc like. we literally have a word for "friend who's only there when you don't need something from them" because the baseline expectation is that a friend should be there even when it sucks. like we used to make fun of people for bailing on their friends.

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

goo goo dolls if they were in dune: and i don’t want the worm to see me

uncle gave me weed again

he started talking about how he didn’t give a fuck about 9/11 as he was watching it happen on tv

Happy pride month to my dad. When I came out as bi to him, this man googled what it ment, look at me and said "ohh. Yeah. You get that from me. You'd have far more siblings of I only shaged women." And went right back to his work emails.

imagine getting first chair in the band in whiplash and being like fuckkk now i have to sit near the drummer who’s always sweating and spitting and crying and bleeding everywhere

okay but chess terminology is like. you pinned your opponent's hung knight and now you can mate? oh im sure