a monument to devilry and chaos

do you want to see a bisexual man struggle? Well look no further

8 hours of decent sleep will have you thinking things like 'i am a beautiful horse and i will never die'

2 hours of bad sleep will have you thinking things like 'i am a stranded whale and i need to be covered in dynamite in an ill-advised attempt to clear the beach'

i appear to have infected 14k people with the phrase "sniling so sneetly". it makes me grin. snile, even. perhaps sneetly

*puts my hand on your shoulder* Don’t worry, I have your back. We’re gonna turn this crisis into a crwaswas

her eyes were the sickly green of the sky before a tornado, and to his horror he discovered she could throw cows around just as easily

to his horror? weak shit. outta my way gayboy im boutta get it

"'I don't know' isn't an answer" alright man then I'll just. Fuckin. Enter my philosophical mind-palace and check the fuckin akashic records. Real quick lemme just catch and cook and eat the Salmon of All Knowledge. Tell me ur question again so I can real quick climb to the highest branches of the Yggdrasil and lay it at the feet of Freda the all-wise Queen of Heaven. Dickhead.

Reblogging this yearly for anyone who needs a very clean version <3 Happy Pride.

Reblog to put the sex and magic back into pride

i have been informed by literally every french speaker on earth that “une pipe” is slang for blowjob

press the teleport button to come over to my house and eat a bagel on the porch with me rightnow and you will earn 5 gems

so sad forever twitter killed bot api thing because fiskbot has been like crucial to my grammar vocabulary essence development