Dick Warlock

(first time doing praise kink) you are Useful

developing the hots for ryan gosling because of project hail mary is so fucking embarrassing I swear to god. that is a conventionally attractive man. a noted hollywood heartthrob. he's even blond, are you kidding me? did he win people magazine's sexiest man alive? I don't know. I'm not going to check but it wouldn't surprise me at this point. it's such a mainstream taste. such a clichéd celebrity crush. like oh I fancy ryan gosling and my favourite drink is coca-cola and my favourite snack is ready salted crisps. jesus christ. 'b-b-but i only like him when he's in a science pun tshirt and playing a dorky-awkward loner type!' doesn't matter. he's still ryan 'ken from barbie' gosling. it's so trite. I feel like the weird nerd girl in a teen coming-of-age romcom falling for the super popular jock. don't I know that I have a reputation to uphold here? cringe.

@cutthroatchorus targeted reblog

I will create the world's first ontologically evil baseball team

Yankees beat you to it by like 113 years

Look when I bet $100 on Kalshi that you "weren't gonna make it" I was merely hedging against how sad I would be in that case. If anything it's a sign of how much I care

Why do the servants not simply rise up and execute the Bridgertons

under plushie dictatorship, there will be an enforced 12 hour bed time (so you can cuddle your plushies more)