Dick Warlock

Expressing discontentment at the total takeover of the month-long celebration, local man Drew Barrington was reportedly frustrated Tuesday that Pride had been completely co-opted by the LGBTQ community. “I’m just trying to have a nice time with my family, watch some special streaming categories, maybe enjoy a couple of rainbow-colored items from a local store, but these days Pride seems to be all about gay, trans, and queer individuals coming together to celebrate their identity,” said Barrington, confirming that the group of people pushing back against their history of oppression with a festival of self-affirmation was interfering with his plans to buy a tie-dyed “Ally” shirt from Target and enjoy a specialty Starbucks drink.

I don't expect people whose main jobs are making YouTube content to defy monetization. I get it. I understand. You gotta protect your bag. It's like a Target employee asking me if I want the credit card.

But as a consumer, I should be allowed to say I'm 18+ and under the laws of my land, I can listen to jokes about getting sounded by the staple gun from the 1994 Home Improvement game and then get a Taco Bell ad, just like I would if I was watching TV

Why is the Internet different? You can't guarantee that the person watching the Playboy channel at 123 Generic St. is actually Mr. Doe (51) and not his son Junior Doe (14). Why is the Internet so special??????????????????? I'm 34.999999999999999!!!

Where's the mail carrier?