DARK IN HERE, ISN'T IT?

its cause you always slouching toward that damn bethlehem

your muscles being pleasantly sore after exercise is such a nice incentive I can see why they patched that in. the forced regular logins to avoid losing progress however are a predatory practice and deserve nothing but scorn.

do you think two pennies is still enough for the ferryman or has inflation driven up the fare

if he makes me use an app I am simply not crossing the river Styx.

you disagreed w me in an intellectually honest way. we're friends now.

accused of using too many ellipses... don't care... there's always more to come...

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

1st query submitted for my novel. baby steps...

now 3!!

My most diagnosable take is that honestly. As much as people in social justicey spaces talk about exercising your empathy ... there's also value in being able to turn it off so you're not extremely susceptible to emotional manipulation. Sometimes you have to be able to recognize "oh, this is bullshit propaganda trying to tug at my heartstrings" and stop giving a fuck about like. Colonizer feelings or whatever. Vibes can't override your principles

Like idk being niceys is a good start but your politics can't begin and end with 🌈 kindness 🌈 or you're gonna get taken advantage of. The worst people on earth will be like "but what if........ I have a sob story about it 🥺" & you Need to be able to tell them to Fuck Completely Off

There's a certain strain of ... Everyone Is Valid 🌸 style pseudo leftism that ime invariably caters to whoever throws the biggest tantrum. And this is a Problem interpersonally & it's especially bad if you let these people dictate your opinions. Not everyone is valid some of you are racist

*at a family gathering* you’re all like coworkers to me

there will be layoffs

this is going around again and the tags are full of people talking about printing it out to put in their breakroom or cubicle or sending it to their coworkers, which fills me with great joy. vast diversity of professions represented also. zoos. labs. summer camps. restaurants. garden centers. libraries. schools. many reports from the brave warriors of assorted retail. a truth universally acknowledged: if there is a sign a customer will not read it <3 and they don't read emails either <3

white people say "he doesnt bite" before watching their untrained labradoodle mix do devil may cry combos on your yorkie