mulder, i wouldn't put myself on the line for anybody but you

your 2nd priority should be bringing joyful and loving energy to those around you. your 1st priority should always be committing to the bit

got told I didn't deserve to be gay because I thought lady gaga wrote money money money by abba. sorry men I am no longer attracted to you as of today. sorry abba sorry gaga sorry women sorry world

Simon and gar phone call

Trace amounts of Monica in my life

A statistically insignificant level of Monica in my life

My life manufactured in a facility that also processes Monica

I don't give an amazing digital fuck

The thing about Miss Piggy is that she kind of has a Roger Rabbit comedy superpower where she wins nearly any conceivable fight she's in. But unlike other characters of which that's true, like say, Bugs Bunny, who tend to win because they make the opponent play the game with their rules, Miss Piggy wins because the joke is that she can beat the shit out of literally anybody.

Some of you seem to be gay #observations #intuitive

For all its faults Tumblr has truly ruined all other social media for me because my friends all have Instagram and are all trying to get me on Instagram more but every time I open Instagram there are like fifteen things screaming for my attention and when I get over myself long enough to start scrolling it's like. Where is my chronological dash. Where is the following-only option. Who are these people. Why are there so many videos. Everyone is screaming at me. And then before I know it I'm thirty minutes into scrolling and I haven't seen a single thing that I actually care about. At least on Tumblr when I see stuff I don't care about I know someone I follow has found a new interest.

Me if i was a Sports commentator: okay so i would have done everything differently there at that moment. And correctly

[ID: Two images. The first is an in-game image from Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney where a car is about to hit Phoenix Wright. The second image is a 2007 Mercedes Benz E Class car, which greatly resembles the car in the first image. End ID]

"why do you know that" i am curious about the world around me

This seems counterproductive to your goals, how are you going to get ice cream if there is no earth? Are you an idiot stupid of sorts?

every now and then i am reminded of nintendo's official solution to the wii u pro controller not having gyro controls and it never fails to send me into hysterics

need more stories centered around a middle-aged female protagonist that isn't centered around the idea of motherhood

has anyone seen my pet bacteriophage its name is styrofoam and its about [hand touching the floor] this tall

"tell me about your ocs" well i cant tell you their lore or personality or backstory because i dont know it. but i can tell you his first gay crush came from watching cars and imprinting on lightning mcqueen as a child. is that anything.

i went to tautology island and i was there visiting the island