mulder, i wouldn't put myself on the line for anybody but you

your 2nd priority should be bringing joyful and loving energy to those around you. your 1st priority should always be committing to the bit

if i made a bruce springsteen movie it would all be made up. not even a biopic. the e street band gets abducted by aliens and has to learn to bring peace to two warring planets through the power of song

happy decade to the horrible beast i have wrought

*eminem voice* *falls into a hole in a sewer grate before saying anything*

anyone else absolutely guzzling the shit out of some wadder? a fucking boddle of wadder?

I think that ancient peoples had trampolines and razor scooters but they were extremely reserved and somewhat shy about them

a dude at the gym just reached in his bag, pulled out a bottle of Hershey’s chocolate syrup, smiled & shook his head like that’s just something that happens to people, put it back and then pulled out a bottle of water instead

the economy used to be so livable that people would throw their bras at the stage during concerts