mulder, i wouldn't put myself on the line for anybody but you

your 2nd priority should be bringing joyful and loving energy to those around you. your 1st priority should always be committing to the bit

once i saw an argument break out in a gay bar over whether scar from the lion king is gay or bisexual so never let your romanticized view of Offline tell you that argument wouldn't happen in a real life gay bar. It Could.

Made a lowball offer on eBay as a joke and it got accepted. uh oh.

i went on the scooby doo diet where I just eat giant subs and processed biscuits and I gotta say im not feeling to

Mesopotamian girl sending clay tablets to her best friend who lives five city states to the west: what if..... Enkidu begot Gilgamesh with child?🤭

remembering in my biology class last year when the teacher called someone a numbskull then said “sorry, I should be calling you guys ‘gumball’ ‘cause you’re all chewed up” then a guy said “I’m more like the bones in a grave, like it’s just over for me” & none of it made any sense

it must be so freeing to be as stupid as a ceo. not a single thought echoing through that hollowed out skull. you get paid more money in 20 minutes than a handful of small countries make in a year combined to say the biggest number you can think of and if your company doesn’t hit that number you get to fire all of them

like the legend of the penis

why is deltarune full of so many undertale references? was Toby Fox a fan or some thing

Plagiarism I'm afraid

Then let’s be rid of Toby “The Sicko” Fox…