An Entertaining Hodge-Podge

Mathew Rodriguez at Them:

A trans woman in Wyoming is facing two felony charges — aggravated assault and possession of a deadly weapon with unlawful intent — after pulling out a gun on someone who had pushed her to the ground, per journalist Jeff Victor of The Laramie Reporter. Rihanna Kelver was standing outside the Crowbar & Grill in Laramie, Wyoming, when a man — whom local state news publication Cowboy State Daily identified as Scott Durham —  began to shout homophobic and transphobic slurs at her. Durham later shoved Kelver to the ground with such force that she injured her tailbone, per court testimony and surveillance footage detailed in the affidavit reviewed by The Laramie Reporter, which initially reported the altercation. In response, Kelver drew a pistol from her bag, put in a round and pointed the weapon at Durham, which caused him to flee. Kelver, per The Laramie Reporter, kept the safety on and never fired. Despite Wyoming’s “Stand Your Ground” statute, which allows people to use reasonable force in moments of self defense, Kelver faces up to 15 years in prison for both charges, as well as up to $11,000 in fines, per Cowboy State Daily. Kelver faces an additional year and $1,000 fine for a charge of interference with a peace officer. Per the statute, “A person who uses reasonable defensive force … shall not be criminally prosecuted for that use of reasonable defensive force.”

According to video evidence detailed in court documents reviewed by The Laramie Reporter and Slate, Kelver was “alone, outnumbered, physically assaulted and left on the ground facing multiple aggressors,” as Durham was not alone during the incident. Despite the overwhelming evidence that Kelver acted in self defense, a judge at a pretrial hearing agreed with the charges against Kelver, forcing her to go to trial. [...] As pointed out by Slate, self-defense laws are often put into question when people from marginalized communities, especially trans people, use them, including Cece McDonald, a Black trans woman who served time in a men’s prison for defending her friends during a racist and transphobic attack. Ky Peterson, a Black trans man from Georgia, was also arrested and imprisoned for killing his rapist in self-defense.

I was allowed full access to any books, movies, and internet I wanted fully informed about our family beliefs and practices but I was given no supervision once I reached about 13 because my parents trusted me to stick to the rules or not as I felt and come to them if there was anything that I had questions about.

As long as I said where I was going, who I was with, and when I was going to be back and then phone if anything changed I was allowed to do pretty much as I pleased from 13 onward.

I moved back in with my parents after university and the first conversation we had was my dad telling me that if I felt like they were treating me like a child to please tell them because they had no intention of doing so.

password protected my computer so i had to get permission every time i wanted to use it

put a passcode lock on our pantry so we couldn’t eat without permission

regularly checked our internet browsing history

shut off the internet at regular intervals, including when i needed it for university homework

did monthly checks of our bank statements and would confiscate money if they didn’t approve of our activities

in response, i went behind their backs and opened a new bank account, got a secret job, bought my own groceries, and used the wifi from the school across the street. they didn’t succeed in disciplining me. all they did was force me to distance myself from them.

As someone who has epilepsy and used to have several grand mal seizures a day, I’d also like to add that “offer help” can range anywhere from keeping the person calm to explaining to them where they are and what they were doing to even just telling them they should sit and rest for a while longer (lack or coordination is common, and it can be hard to walk straight or see clearly).

It’s okay for them to take up to a half hour to fully regain their bearings and sort out what they were doing prior to the seizure. Just answer any questions calmly and be there for support.

If they come around and you start to panic or shake them or ask them what the heck is wrong with them they are going to freak out and panic too.

I cannot stress it enough that this is bad.