A Logical Phallus

americans be like dude learning to drive isnt that bad but they dont know youre in ireland sharing a lane with a horse who is a bad person. And the horse and the instructor are friends and he keeps dapping the horse up through the window. And the horse called you a bitch under his breath so quiet the driving instructor is trying to convince you that you must have misheard him but you didnt. and theres a roundabout coming up and the horse didnt indicate

i feel like we’re all a little bit too used to living in a world where elephants exist. what do you MEAN they do all that shit with their nose

Like two years ago I ran into a salamander biologist in the woods who complimented my ability to 'walk quietly in the forest while causing minimal disturbance to the leaf litter.' Still goes to my head.

No, seriously. Who are these pill-pushing doctors? Where on God's green Earth do there exist doctors who just give you medicine when you ask for it? Where can I find these doctors? Are they hangin out with fuckin Bigfoot? And when we do find them, should we give them a medal or a big sack of money or do we throw them a parade or what

Does anyone know what to do about the temperature and also the prices