i like puns and halloween

yeah im over it *dies one thousand deaths*

hey guys is it over or are we back i think i lost track

Capulets vs Montagues

Two houses, utterly devoid of dignity

friendship addicts will be like “i just need one more hit of your infectious laughter and zest for life”

hey boss i can't come in today it's a sunny day and there's a lovely breeze coming in through my window, yeah it's rustling the branches of the tree outside that's finally bloomed so it's pretty serious

tomorrow i fix my life #fixmylife #tomorrow

anything from the venerable era of 1992 was a color not even frogs could achieve and came in a squeeze tube

what do you mean there are exactly zero rats i. this post

one time at a funeral i panicked and said the first drink i could think of and the bartender made me the pina colada With all the fixings all the trims all the bells and whistles i didnt even ask imagine youre at a funeral and the person besides you is drinking a pina colada with whip cream as tall as the drink with a cherry and an umbrella, thats what happened to me

when an npc in a sneak games goes “What was that” babygirl dont worry about it