surrounded & sprinkled on all sides by stars

what if u asked for pita bread at a restaurant and the waiter said is lois bread okay

i like it when people compliment me. i like it... when people like me. (looks around to make sure nobody is about to shoot me)

fool me once shame on you. fool me twice shame on me. fool me three times this has gotta be a sex thing for at least one of us

person with naturally good skin:in the morning i wash with peepee. at night i use poopoo and glossier milky jelly. simple is best :)

I will never forget this post until the day I die

i could jumpstart a car with my breasts

Trans guy going on T, call that Project Male Hairy

you have to forgive the printer because it's one of the most machine-ass machines we interact with on a day to day basis. that thing says kerchunk. hardly anything says kerchunk these days. you can't get mad at her when she kerchunks up a little.

Crazy that tech has gotten so bad that we're doing printer forgiveness now

Everyone say thank you sanitation workers we owe you our lives sanitation workers

It's actually super unethical to keep a peeve as a pet

yes!!! thank you!!! I hate when people do this, it's one of my uh... one of my... oh no...