I Have Made A Terrible Mistake

Becoming a responder in 3 easy steps

1: start a blog for it (typically with naming pattern "just-[word]-thoughts" or "just-[word]-responses")

1.5 (optional): decide on what your "thing" will be. Like how nopunctuation has... Well, guess. Bast is just an absolute bastard, beppy is a petty bitch, and Scottish and Narr are absolutely incomprehensible to the average human being. I have several times had a "thing" but I think I've settled well on just being annoying and, on occasion, edgy.

2: follow several shower thought and shower response blogs and start responding with the blog. Participate in the rp even, if that's your thing.

3: profit.

A bit of free extra advice:

community interaction is key to getting attention, you can try without talking to us, but people probably won't notice you.

okay so basically the story went that he has. a fetish for guys with tats and piercings and this culminated in him getting real teeth KNOCKED OUT during a glory hole incident in 98 or 99 he can’t remember but basically the guy thrust in as he was catching his breath. and. teeth got knocked out. he was THAT HARD. 

so he gets dental implants and continues on his way, assured that he’ll never have to lose any more teeth. he used to bartend blah blah and was always complimented on his teeth but he eventually got them SNAPPED OUT during an altercation with a drunk guy and he got different ones put in and was like “oh, so this is a recurring theme in my life” and decided that he was going to swear off bartending.

so he moved out this way and started his “dick-sucking career” anew, hopeful, wide-eyed. and managed to get a piercing snagged on his fucking tonsil and they have to GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM TOGETHER BECAUSE THE GUY IS STUCK IN HIS FUCKING THROAT AND HE CAN ONLY BREATHE IF HE BREATHES AROUND THE DICK. it was at this moment i remembered that one fucking movie where a guy gets his prince albert piercing stuck in a lady as a killer is busting into the room and dies because he won’t cut it off and run or something

also as this is happening i’m waiting on x-ray results so i’m just. there lmao

and he was talking about how the guy NUTTED. IN THE AMBULANCE. BECAUSE OF THE VIBRATION OF THE ROAD. IN HIS THROAT. AND THEY HAD TO SUCTION IT OUT. WHAT THE FUCK. but it turns out that there was a bad cut to his gums as well because it was a spiked fucking piercing so he just. had to get a couple teeth replaced. again.

and they dated. for 2 more years. until he moved to serbia or something i forget that part i was laughing to hard. it might have been spain. idk anyways

the bf got stopped by airport security because this was a few years after 9/11 and he had to take half his piercings which were not “safe metals” for metal detectors (“because DIY punks are hotter” was his reason??) and he was like “do i take the dick one out too” (no, but he did get taken to be privately searched.) and it ended up, that his boyfriend (the guy in the dental office) laughed so hard, after hearing this story repeated, that he slipped and smacked face first into the edge of a table. and LOST HIS TEETH AGAIN, and ended up walking around “like a fucking christmas carol about wanting two front teeth” until his bf sent him money to get them fixed and then broke up with him “for some hot young thing”

so he gets new ones! and they lasted! they really did! for years!

and then, #4, was on sunday. he was so “inspired” after he was allowed to go on dates again. because quarantine and no-socialising rules and shit have hit hard here multiple times. that he “went too hard” at a small gay bdsm gathering. and he managed to both bend his teeth inwards and fuck his molars up FROM DICK SUCKING. and he was like “i was tied up there, thinking about how many times this has happened. and how some evil gay witch put a curse on me for being too good at sucking dick.” 

and he went on about how the kink club in question is technically helping to pay for this because they felt SO BAD and the guy who did this laughed his ass off and was like. i don’t have any money but once you get your teeth fixed - and the guy was like NO. I AM NOT SUCKING YOU OFF EVER AGAIN LOOK WHAT YOU DID

Welcome to … the chess Expanded Universe

i tried my best to translate it into digital so that people get a bit more accurate look at them. Tho bear with me I’ve never done an actual pattern design sheet before!

so basically my hope is that anyone could print these out to any size of their choosing and get the same result, but ive never tried anything larger than approx. 3 inches with these sooo idk if you try it tag me!

the goal is to sew the backs together to the lines at the tip of the head to the middle of the butt. then leaving a space along the belly piece near the butt end and sewing from one side of the butt including all the legs and the “mouth” to the other side with its legs to get back to the butt. if that makes sense

i usually pause sewing up the body once the head is fully sewn together,, usually after ive sewn both arms and ill yank it inside out where ill start sewing on the little poofball eyes so i know theyre in a good place, then resuming the body, and then pulling the whole thing inside out and pushing out the tips of the limbs with a skinny blunt object like a dull pencil until i can see the stitches. if you attempt this piece definitely make sure you stitch up the arm and leg crevices very well!!!!

then just stuff the lad and sew up his back end and its done :)

one suggestion for fabric is always try to use a stretchy soft fleecy fabric with these because its much easier if mistakes are made during sewing and to hold the ROUND shape better

Absolutely incredible.

id 2: the tumblr “This reblog was flagged as explicit” banner

okay then explain this 🙄

r/justneckbeardthings

r/AreTheStraightsOkay

r/ToiletPaperUSA

r/TheRightCantMeme

And r/BadWomensAnatomy

“no, i’m lifehacking”

“you’re stealing my umbrella”

“lifehack”

“how are you hacking life you are literally taking my umbrella”

I almost ended my life because I got a whole bunch of anon hate a while back

So please

please reblog, or not.