A magical mystical guide to being a silly lil guy

whoever wrote this paper has the funniest phrasing possible

happy turtle bit off a cop’s toe in the hudson river day for those who celebrate

Happy centennial to the turtle who bit off a cop’s toe in the hudson river

Okay but why was I so concerned about it on TikTok but I see on tumblr and I’m like oh that makes sense it’s fine

Its because someone put their fucking face with that statement, its not funny anonymous internet person its justine who is 16 and someone's classmate

I'm also inclined to believe that when tumblr user evilvillain123456789 says they killed someone as a child that they might, just possibly, be doing a bit.

Fuck I’m at a fencing tournament and literally a minute after I reblogged this my dad told me that he talked to the point people and I’m probably going to win a medal.

BURN BAGEL BURN

OH WHY NOT?

I GOT A JOB THE DAY AFTER MY QUEUE POSTED THIS THE FIRST TIME AND I JUST REALIZED IT WHEN I SAW IT AGAIN HOLY GOD

The bagel hasn’t let me down yet!

Let’s see what you can do bagel

"No! You gotta resist peacefully because the government thugs who are kidnapping and murdering innocent people in broad daylight... might use your violence as an excuse to start kidnapping and murdering innocent people in broad daylight!"

this is my suggestion

This is your reminder today that Irene Adler in the original Conan Doyle story is literally not a criminal. She never commits a crime.

Really obsessed with this one like how old cameras worked making everyone blurry against the statue and just makes you realize how long the statue has been right. There.

i do not want to live in the fucking panopticon fuck the camera that blinks above me at work, the tv watching me at the store, the "smile you're on camera" signs, the ring cameras, the flock cameras, the apps to track your child or partner, the activist friends telling me "just assume everything you do in public is being recorded somewhere", the government building protester databases, the teslas recording every move all around them, the knowledge that everything i type or search or save is being tracked and logged, the ads and search suggestions that mysteriously know what i was just talking about, the way biometrics keep creeping into more places, the way my car spies on me, the way my phone spies on me, the way there is nowhere to go to get away from it!!! no wonder the internet is full of vindictive little stalkers and witchhunts when it's the water and the air of society from the culture to the infrastructure

People who keep American flags in or on their house should be put on a list

humiliation fetish

flag-burning fetish

At the local hamburger shop and they said yelled out “order 167!” And three middle school age kids yelled in perfect unison “ 6 7!” Life is sometimes so beautiful

If you reference 67 you deserve to be executed on the spot tbh

If I was king for a day the first thing I would do would be to sentence you to a life full of love and understanding.

It is not nearly common enough knowledge that most Native tribes in the U.S. don't actually own all of the land within their reservation. There are millions of acres of reservation land that tribes don't legally own and they have no control over how that land is used. Like, there are a lot of different concepts tied in with the land back movement, but a major one is literally just getting reservation land back into tribal ownership.

i have a suggestion

me too

princess lessons are getting a little out of hand..