still schlangin' that meat

I’m actually always thinking of that “maybe I won’t die cause I’m special” tweet

explained to an 8 year old that once a fruit is ripe you only have so much time until it rots so you have to eat it soon and she said so i'll never be able to keep it perfect like this forever? no and there are about a million pieces of art for you unrelatedly

Katsushika Hokusai (1760–1849) was a Japanese artist, ukiyo-e painter and printmaker of the Edo period, Shunga Gallery.

[trying to flirt with ms frizzle] hey val. can i call you val? i've always liked how most of the working professionals you know appear to be homosexuals. how about you take a chance on me, and we can make some mistakes and messes at my place? [sniles] [she turns me down with a pun] [i walk dejected out into the parking lot] [The Bus runs me over]

trying to undress ms frizzle but when you pull off her dress there's a second, "lingerie-patterned" dress underneath

people who put their gum under tables are wild animals they literally do not have higher level cognitive functions. they live in nature.

calling them wild animals is an insult to nature

sorry you’re right i should’ve said baboons

I call my father Babbu but I hate my father Die father

Die Babbu

^ This Die Babbu

Hell on babbu technique

it’s nice seeing other people starting to open their eyes to what i’ve been saying for a while in that the current use and proliferation of the term “gooning” is an outright tool of fascism

the second “gooning” stopped referring to a specific sexual practice and started to be used as a replacement for “masturbation” we needed to kill it immediately and sadly we didn’t

demonizing human sexuality and treating masturbation and sexual activity as deviant and disgusting are straight up fascist tools and it’s startling how successful this aspect of it has been the last few years

Carrie is, like, thee book about how we fail fat weird girls with abusive parents. Shaving all the edges off doesn't just make a worse story, it ignores the fundamentally ugly truth that we STILL FAIL girls who are too ugly or strange to be considered worthy of sympathy, leaving them to the whims of parents who may well hate them. I don't understand why Flanagan has become so pathologically incapable of letting horror stories just BE DARK, but it's really de-fanging a lot of stories for a lot of people! Hill House is not about the power of family it's about how lonely people will literally kill themselves to feel any sense of belonging, no matter how fleeting. Carrie is not about a mother and daughter doing their best, it's about the real and present hatred that ESPECIALLY ISOLATIONIST CHRISTIANS have for any young woman and especially young women who are fat, weird, and/especially or refuse to conform. Much like the society at large. I'm losing my mind

Fun fact: for some reason men that compare themselves to golden retrievers on hinge do NOT like being told “bark for me dog”

One of the puzzles of trying to write a modernized re-imagining of Much Ado About Nothing is that there's really nothing you can do about the name Dogberry. It's just kind of there.

Like, Leonato is Lee or Leigh, that's easy. Antonio, there's half a dozen possibilities. Pedro and John you don't even have to wrestle with. But Dogberry. Dogberry resists streamlining or reinterpretation. Dogberry is what it is, and refuses to be anything else. I am stymied by the enigma that is Dogberry.