🤍

you can be peeling a boiled egg and think to yourself wow. that was so simple. and then you peel another one and it’s like being in the throes of war. shell everywhere. egg mangled. tears in your eyes. that’s how god keeps you humble

wait now i’m curious what’s everyone’s go-to pair of shoes

there was a cloud shaped like bart simpson in 1852 and nobody recognized it

Some of you really need to be sustained by the tender embrace of the serpent goddess and it shows

the best episodes of taskmaster are ones that make me have to google greg davies bisexual just to see if anything's changed since the last time i googled greg davies bisexual

ok i absolutely need to know what accents u all have pls reblog and tell me or comment or whatever I must know

the kids in hsm2 shouldve unionized that country club

the death of dvds is so fucked. what about bonus features

far far away idol would never happen now

I like the nodding emoji 🙂‍↕️ for how at peace it is. when I use it I feel like a wise sage who has reached an enlightened truth of the universe. mmmm 🙂‍↕️ monkey

as it gets warmer let's all remember the two most beautiful accessories a girl can have this summer are hairy legs and a bunch of bruises from bangin around

my unwritten novels were snubbed at the international booker prize once again

I love the word "jamboree". If I had a daughter I'd name her Jamboree Lynn, and if I had a son, I'd leave him in the woods to be raised by coyotes.

what if he grew up never knowing you were his parent and came back to kill you in a tragic twist of fate tho

happens

Jamboree Lynn would handle the situation i imagine