Potato Struggling

I DONT CARE HOW MANY BEDS THERE WERE. WHAT IS YOUR BOOK ABOUT

(tearfully) w- working at the mattress store

i'm so fucking sorry. can you ever forgive me

controversial opinion but unfortunately you are your actions and what you say. if you are mean to people, it doesn’t matter if you sometimes have secret kind thoughts. fortunately you are your actions and what you say. if you are kind in your actions and your words, it doesn’t matter if you sometimes have mean thoughts. the power is in working against inner negative thoughts and being a better person despite it. you have the ability to cultivate the person you want to be.

Due to a misspelling on my part while writing down a wish I wanted the djinni to grant me, I have been transported back in time and turned into a servant of the king of England, Denmark, and Norway

That's right, I am serving Cnut

I mean this so kindly, but I have this primordial urge to shove you into a locker.

Trying to do research for writing is so dumb I’m literally on the Wikipedia page for rabbit

if you got like a 100kilo bag of glitter and opened it up and left it in the path of like a tornado i think that would be interesting. i dont care abt ecological damage btw

I do. 100kg bag of seaweed based glitter.

i dont. 100kg bag of enriched uranium based glitter

wait isnt uranium denser than lead how heavy would a 100kg bag of uranium be

thyrell.

just kill me

Hot dog water is the exact opposite of holy water in that you can add a single drop of it to any amount of pure water and it will make the entire thing unpure

now THIS is the kind of philosophical liturgy i come to tumblr for. FINALLY i can defeat the pope

So,,,,, if you pour holy water and hotdog water into the same container,,,, which wins?

That's actually really impressive

Lean back and just barely open your eyes to look at the image, it's impressive.

Son of a BITCH! That really is impressive.

how does shanks manage to have some kind of sexual tension with every warlord in the sea whilst also having practically zero screen time. ramona-esque dilf of the east blue. luffy wants to be king of the pirates but is stuck sailing through the several deadly seas of his dad's evil exes. they see the straw hat and it activates their fight reflex. half-convinced that shanks gave it away with full knowledge of this

#son. return my hat after you've defeated my several evil exes#how does one man have so much divorced energy with so many people while also not being present to give this context (op's tags)

Please respect my privacy

my deepest apologies

I forgive you

Anyway me when I suck that pharaoh good and hard through his scaramphigousus

I'm about to wii sports resort to violence

I'm about to have a wii fit

1986

Tumblr has the opportunity to do the funniest fucking thing with their next mobile icon update