jackass of all trades, master of none

friend: *responds*

John: Bucky because of the cryogenic freezing, we're basically the same age

Bucky:

Someone told Victor about emojis

I am a raccoon biologist and one of the few people in the state allowed to take in captive bred raccoons that had been possessed illegally. The raccoon in the photos is Moonshine, but she is currently at the animal sanctuary where I work as I had been quarantining multiple new intakes from an abuse case. I still have two males (Rum Tum Tugger and Electra) left in my home enclosure as we are getting them neutered and then hopefully sending them to an AZA accredited zoo.

taumoeba (obviously)

instructions on how to use taumoeba (obviously)

50+ hrs of unedited footage of Grace fucking up a bunch of stuff in the ship

so much info about Eridian language

1700+ hrs of unedited footage of Grace and Rocky fucking up a bunch of shit in the ship

Cannot emphasize how much info on the eridian sentence structure there is here

a weirdass knit sweater pattern that takes people weeks to realize is for Rocky

literally hundreds of pages of Grace just describing Eridian linguistic history which like honestly isn't even his field why should we even listen to this guy- (hes the only one to ever fucking met an intelligent alien Dave. we'll take him at his word)

Why the Goldilocks Zone is for Idiots Part 2: Biological Diversity all across the Petrova Line (subtitled "We haven't found them yet BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN THEY DONT FUDHING EXIST-")

what are essentially just those reaction videos "Alien watches Legally Blonde for the first time" "Alien gives thoughts on movie Cats (2019)" "You'll never believe what this Alien thinks of the movie Fantastic Mr. Fox"

Grace's modified cardigan charts because someone was asking for them on his Ravelry and he never actually got around to posting them

(people have already fully recreated this cardigan just months after his launch. but they appreciate it)

very respective, kind eulogies for everyone who died in this mission (Grace AND Rocky's crew)

a lace shawl pattern inspired by the petrova line with a beaded fringe. knitters everywhere weep in despair because those instructions are gOD AWFUL, the man had 0 (zero) test knitters AND THERES NO PICTURES FUCK

Rocky make Grace cringe compilation statement

Simon "yawning"* like a snake

Staring at Grace for no reason while he yaps to the camera (Very creepy)

him in dark corners, one eye faintly glowing (Rocky encouraged him to do it)

video on the blood ocean (made by Grace) {"THERE'S A MOON WITH HUMAN BLOOD???" WE KNOW DAVE WE ARE TRYING TO FIGURE THAT OUT TOO}

(if Simon still had the Blackbox) various images from the blood ocean.

bloodymary x tma au anyone?

COMPOSURE – Stop. You've gotten too close to him. Your heart is pounding, and you can barely stand.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY – Yes! Don't waste time. Grab him by anything. Better yet – kiss him.

AUTHORITY – The Lieutenant is a professional. He would never let this happen. Accept the fact that after this, he'll mock you for being such an incompetent officer.

VOLITION – Keep yourself together. Turn it into a joke. No disaster will occur.

LOGIC – If you step back now, you can say you tripped.