jackass of all trades, master of none

"What were you doing at the devils sacrament" jarking my whole thing off. Next quiestuon.

yeah sure whatever

i need to personally thank whoever invented the phrase Rocky mate bad as hell statement because it has permanently altered the way I think. Rocky mate bad as hell statement REAL.

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

*squints* is that a motherfucking EVENING PRIMROSE?!??

#amazing work everyone hit the flowers

Sharing porn with eachother is a love language.

"Write character relationships that are normal" WRONG ☝ CODEPENDENCY BEAM 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

today is happening just once and it is READY FOR YOU with mystery and adventure and glittering love hidden around every corner. it will be here and gone before you know. TIME TO TROT OUT THERE AND MEET IT