Bloggity

Jason was frustrated with life, of course he was a revenant without a way to get revenge with Bruce’s no kill rule. Doesn’t say he can’t get others to kill for him, so when he gets captured by cultists he decides to take a leap of faith and make his wish to the Ghost King before the cultists can make their stupid wish about world domination or something.

Danny: I'm half ghost. And uh, the government made it legal to hunt/kill me. So. Red Hood, protector of the downtrodden, avenger of the dead? Pretty safe bet to keep me half-alive that bit longer.

Jason: I have titles??

Lady Gotham doesn't out Danny as King. Just calls him Amitys protector. One of his earliest titles.

Now imagine the batfams reactions to this knowledge. Red Hood jr existing at all. Followed by wearing an armoured hood under the drama bucket?

They are just like.... Is this timeline shenanigans? Is this your future child???!? Past you? Are we sure he's not related. Actually fully sure!

Jason: He followed me home one day. He looked like a sad raccoon. How could I abandon him!

Danny: Oh! He saved me from human traffickers and I got attached.

Jason: He found me stabbed in an alleyway. Decided I clearly needed help getting home.

Danny: I'm from a different dimension, I'm pretty sure Jason is my alternate counterpoint!

Jason: I took him in as payment for a debt.

Danny: Oh! My parents tried to kill me. You know how Jason feels about that sort of thing!!

"Danyal, its time to end this game and return with me."

Danny should had known Clockwork had something in mind when he sent him on this mission. He knew he should had been suspicious of the time keeper when he noticed the little 'this is going to be fun' smile on his face when he sent Danny off into the portal.

"Get back here you demon spawn 2.0!"

But how was he supposed to know that he'd wake up in this world version of himself in a pit full of corrupted (AND NASTY) ectoplasim at the tender age of five or that when he swam up to the surface he'd be meeting face to face with what was apparently a cult.

"-O just spotted him a block away! I'll try to cut itty bitty bridie off!"

An Assassins Cult his, new to him, loving yet a little insane mother was in charge of (though during the few months he stayed in the compound he heard rumors and gossip from maids and others alike that if his grandfather returned from the dead he'll take over once again, no doubt punish Talia for creating another heir after the failure of the last one, most likely was going to kill Danny and that... that was can of worms Danny didn't wanna deal with yet)

"Ten bucks says they try to stab RR when we get the feral thing home"

"...Losers bet...."

Danny had lived with his mother for a while after being brought back from the 'dead' for apparently the first time, it turned out training a five year old with an actual sword and a dumbass hidden revenge seeking teacher was a terrible idea.

"I swear if this one tries to murder me like the others I'm asking Zatanna if there is a curse on me."

He dealt with her high demands of perfection, the endless training, and the constant comparisons to his apparent older brother Damain... Who didn't know Danny, or rather Danyal existed.

Nor did his father (when Danny, using his powers he's kept hidden since 'waking' up in this Realm, he sneaked his way around the base and discovered how he came into the world. And tbh he couldn't blame his mom how she made him, she was an assassin first and foremost, being naturally pregnant would had painted a target on her for to long... but he also felt it was unfair and an asshole move on his unsuspecting father as well)

"As your elder brother I demand you to stop running!"

Now don't get him wrong, he did like his new mother (total badass assassin lady and all that) and he knew she loved him in her own... deadly way. But yeah, she really shouldn't be taking care of kids. He could tell she struggled with wanting to be a normal mother but her first instinct after so many years was to be an assassin first.

Something she was trying to engrave into Danny with as well.

"Ah, hello Beloved. I see you've learned of our Danyal."

"Talia. Back away from him and leave Gotham now."

"I can not do that. The League needs an heir and since Damian refuses to return... I have decided to create a new one and I shall not be leaving until he returns with me."

"Talia."

Hence why when Danny, or rather Danyal al Ghul had gotten decent control over his powers he decided to leave the League. Again nothing wrong with the life his mom leads, to each their own, but he... really, really didnt want to be an assassin. Or an assassin heir.

So here he was, after almost a year on the run, using his powers and training to out smart and out maneuver his mother and her many band of Assassins, in Gotham. One of the last places he ever wanted to run to cause he knew his father and brother lived here.

It was just his luck that his mother had managed to intercept his train ride that passed into Gotham for a few hours and forced him to run into the city...

Add her assassins into the mix and running into Robin, who heard from Oracle his mother had been spotted chasing a young boy across the city, that same night.

After that it became a full on "catch me if you can" chase for not only his mother but for the batclan as well.

And after two whole days of chase, it seemed like the final showdown was about to begin because everyone was on top of this rooftop, his mother and her assassins on one side, his father and the batclan on the other and Danny well... he was right in the middle of all of it.

"Danyal. Come here," his mother ordered.

Nah. He loved her, just as she loved him. She wasn't exactly the sanest though. Neither was his dad, since he was a surprisingly popular out and proud furry. Danny was waiting. As soon as the two sides went after each other, he was going to make a run for it. His mom stepped forward, and the batclan leapt forward.

Danny dodged and weaved as the two sides clashed, trying to prevent the other from getting to him. Once he was pretty sure they were all distracted, he jumped down onto a fire escape and made himself invisible, running away. He couldn't hold it for long, but it should hold long enough for him to lose his tails for a bit. *** Danny was pretty sure he wasn't followed. He'd managed to make his way to the observatory. It was easy to sneak inside. He'd decided to use the techniques his mom had shown him. Danny was still tired from using his powers earlier. He paused at the gift shop, looking longingly at some of the posters, toys, and clothes. He could live without it, but it would be nice to have one of those.

Danny shook his head. He didn't want to steal.

Sighing, Danny moved on. He wanted to check out the movie room. It would be a nice place to sleep for the night, and he could fall asleep listening to the stars. Following the signs, he made it to the theater room. It was easy to find the console. From there, he turned on a video about the Hubble telescope and the James Webb telescope. Those would be fun.

Danny started them up, then meandered down to the rows of chairs. He laid down in the first row, spreading himself out across two of the seats. They were cushioned nicely. He'd been taught how to fall asleep when in uncomfortable situations. Danny drifted off hearing the narrator talk about the galaxies.

***

He woke up hearing two people talking, asking who had been the last to lock up for the night, how could they have left the projector running. Danny scrambled to get up and hide. It was child's play to sneak back out. His stomach grumbled. He'd had to steal food this past year in order to say alive. He didn't like it, but it was necessary. Danny made his way to a fancy looking grocery store that wasn't that far away.

His mouth watered seeing the fruits and vegetables. He'd hated them in his last life, but he appreciated them so much more in this one, where he rarely got enough to eat. Danny went in, looking for an adult to hang around who he could pretend he was with. There. There was an elderly gentleman stocking up his cart, filling it full. Danny made his way to the man and hovered around him, but not too close.

Danny stole an apple and an orange, hiding them in his hoodie. He also snuck a chocolate bar. Life was tough. Some sugar would do him good. Not only that, but chocolate was full of magnesium. That was an important micronutrient. He was brought out of his thoughts when he heard the elderly man say to the cashier.

"Add an apple, and orange, and a kit kat bar. I'm afraid my grandson has squirreled them away. He refused breakfast, so of course he is hungry now." Danny's head snapped up, assessing the man.

He had white hair and was balding at the top. He looked stern, but there was a kindness to him. Afterall, why else would he have paid for Danny's stuff? He followed the man out of the store.

"Thanks. You didn't have to do that," Danny admitted, scuffing the ground with his toe, ashamed yet grateful.

"No. There is a a small bakery and coffee shop down the street. If you help me put the items in my car, I'm more than happy to get you breakfast," the man explained. Danny nodded. It was a good trade, not only that, but it was easy to help the man. He told Danny his name was Alfred Pennyworth. Danny just said his name was Danny.

At the cafe, Mr. Pennyworth got some tea and scones while Danny got hot chocolate and an egg quiche with vegetables. It was really yummy. Danny tried to savor the drink. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had something so yummy. Definitely not since waking up in this body.

"Some of my grandsons will be here shortly. They were in the area. I do hope you won't mind them joining," Mr. Pennyworth told him calmly.

"Okay," Danny mumbled. Maybe he should try to leave before that... he was kinda gross and stinky.

He didn't really have a chance to leave though, as it felt like just seconds later, three men entered the store. The oldest, silver just starting to enter his hair, sat down next to Danny. He shifted uncomfortably. It was going to be harder to leave now. He didn't want to act suspicious and attract attention though.

"Bruce! What a surprise. I'd thought it was just going to be Tim and Damian."

"I was the one who drove them out here! Tim wanted to check out the observatory," Bruce said joyfully before turning to look at Danny. It kinda unnerved him. It reminded him of his mother's gaze, picking him apart, looking for Danny's flaws. He hated it. He needed to get out of here!

"Hello there! I'm Bruce Wayne! Nice to meet you! Where did Alfred pick you up at?" Was this something Mr. Pennyworth did often? Danny thankfully didn't have to answer as the boys sat down. One was older, probably sixteen or seventeen while the other looked to be twelve. "Here's yours," the elder one said sliding a cup to Bruce. He then sat next to Alfred, the twelve year old sitting at the end of the table.

"Thank you Tim." He was turning to ask Danny something again, something Danny didn't want. So he decided to jump in.

"Tim! You wanted to go to the observatory. What did you want to see there?" Tim blinked.

"Uh, they updated the documentary to include new information since the James Webb telescope was launched a little while ago."

Perfect.

“Wow. You know a lot about the stars. Would you like to come with us to the observatory?” Bruce was smiling, but it was softer this time and didn’t feel as fake. It still felt weird. Why was this family accepting him? It was really suspicious. 

“Oh no, I couldn’t. It’s your family that you were going to do with Tim and Damian,” Danny protested. 

He wanted to go. He did. But he shouldn’t. Also, this was Gotham? He’d heard so much about this city, who in the world were these people that they were like: ah, let’s take that street urchin in his ratty and stinky clothes to an observatory! Were they trying to kidnap him? Probably. Ah well, he could kick their asses when they revealed their hand and then leave. Danny was still trying to lay low and hide from his mother and his father, the Batman. Mother might suspect him of going to an observatory. She did know him, and knew that he liked stars. Probably? Was he giving her too much credit? She had him on purpose because her other son hadn’t turned out the way she wanted. Mother hasn’t been thrilled to discover his interest in space. No, she’d just wanted the perfect soldier, the perfect heir. 

She’d lost that when she’d killed her son and revived him in the Lazarus Pit. 

Older Danny’s memories had meshed with his younger, reincarnated selves ones, but older Danny had so many more memories and a lot more life experience. Little Danny? Not so much. The love he had for his mother had stayed though. 

“Oh, I insist,” Bruce said, putting his hand gently on Danny’s shoulder. 

Danny bit his lip. He glanced around at the others. Damian hadn’t said a word, just watching Danny. He had the same gaze as his father, Bruce, had initially. As if he was trying to look into Danny’s soul. Alfred looked serene and calm as ever. Danny felt safer if both Tim and Alfred would come with. 

“Will you be coming too, Mr. Pennyworth?” Danny asked, trying to give his best innocent and cute look at the older gentleman. He also subtly pushed off Bruce’s hand, not liking it on him.

“I’m afraid I must get the groceries home. They would not survive a trip to the observatory,” Mr. Pennyworth said. Danny frowned. That sucked. 

“Oh. Well, I wouldn’t want to impose…” yes, nice and easy, get away from this nice but really weird family. 

“You wouldn’t be imposing! Don’t worry about cost either! I have plenty of money,” Bruce chuckled. 

“Yuck,” Danny blurted, then blushed. Okay, so he kinda hated rich people. He blamed Vlad. Tim let out a surprised laugh, although he tried to stop it as quickly as he could. Damian, however, bristled.

“How dare you say that! Father is one of the most generous men on the planet and his charities help the people of this city and those all around the world!” Bruce put his hand on Damian’s shoulder. 

“It’s alright, son. I don’t think Danny knows who we are. I’m Bruce Wayne, does that ring a bell?” It did, but Danny didn’t want to tell him that. 

“No,” Danny told the man before finishing off his hot chocolate. It was a little cold at this point, but it was still good. He’d finished the quiche during his discussion with Tim. Decisions though. He really, really wanted to explore the observatory while it was open and not at night… 

“I’ll go, but you have to answer one question first,” Danny told Bruce, looking up at him. He was going to have so much fun messing with this trillionaire. 

“Of course!” Danny was going to make him regret that. They would either let him leave or still take him after this question. Probably let him leave. 

“You’re not a pedophile, are you?” 

Bruce’s eyes widened, and he looked stunned. Damian stood up and started yelling. Mr. Pennyworth looked perturbed. Tim looked like he wasn’t sure if he was going to laugh or cry. What could he say? He was a bit of a chaos gremlin. 

***

To Danny’s utter amazement, the Waynes still wanted to take Danny to the observatory. 

They had to have some sort of ulterior motive. No one would have taken Danny after he asked Bruce that so bluntly. Were they connected to the Bats? Or his Mother? Either way, Danny was just going to use them a bit, making them go with him to every single exhibit, check out all of the telescopes, and watch as many of the movies in the theater as possible. Tim though, Tim had been the one to surprise Danny by getting him a few items from the gift shop. A little model rocket, a poster of a few different galaxies, and even some astronaut food. 

It was really nice of the teen. 

Damian had been extremely bored and clearly did not want to be there. He kept trying to tell Danny what to do and how to act, which just made Danny want to do the exact opposite. It was honestly fun to make the other kid mad. When he did, he would hide behind Tim’s leg and give the older teen the most innocent look he could manage. Bruce looked super tired from dealing with their squabbles. 

If he couldn’t handle it, he shouldn’t have invited Danny along! 

That led to the interesting conundrum. It was becoming dark, and the observatory was about to close. Bruce and his kids didn’t seem to want Danny to leave. It was super suspicious. They were outside now, Danny holding his little bag of goodies. While he could be subtle when he wanted to be, now really wasn’t the time for subtlety. Walking forward in front of the little family, Danny turned to face them. He was prepared to run if they made any weird moves. 

“What makes you think we have anything to do with your parents? Whoever they are,” Bruce asked. Danny rolled his eyes. 

“Please. Any normal person would want to get away from me as soon as I asked if they were a pedophile. The fact that you didn’t leave me alone right after that? Super suspicious. I may be five, but I’m not dumb,” Danny told them, annoyed. Sometimes being so little was helpful, sometimes it really, really sucked! 

The three people studied Danny. He fidgeted. 

“Well? Are you going to answer my question?” Danny demanded. 

“We’re with… Batman,” Bruce reluctantly said. 

“Yeah, I thought so. None of you really seem like people my mom would associate with.” Apparently, that was funny, as Tim covered his mouth with a hand to muffle his laughter. 

“Why would you think that?” Damian questioned, crossing his arms and… pouting? Ancients, was the twelve year old kid really pouting? It was only because Danny had been taught how to read even the most subtle body language by his assassin mom that he could tell the other boy was upset.

“Uh, you’re not all stabby and don’t really seem super dangerous,” Danny explained. That seemed to get Tim even more, as he made a strangled sound and pulled out his phone. 

“I need to tell Jason. He’s going to love this so much,” Tim managed to wheeze out. Danny was not waiting around till Jason showed up. He was getting out of here. 

“Anyway, good to know that you’re with the caped furry. I hope to NEVER see you again,” he told them cheerily. 

“WAIT!” Damian yelled, grabbing Danny’s hand. Danny frowned at the surprisingly strong grip. “Don’t you want to meet your older brother?” 

“Uh, no,” Danny told the other boy. Damian’s face went stony at the answer. “I’ve been compared to my older brother my entire life. Mother said that once I beat my teacher, I could learn his name and once I beat her I could learn my father’s name. I don’t want to know, though. Mother always said I was slower than him, I didn’t learn as quickly as him. I wanted to yell at her so many times that I wasn’t him! I’m Danyal. I’m Danny. I don’t want to be my brother. I want to be nothing like him! Mother boasted how he’d completed his first kill at three. I’ve never killed anyone. I love my mom, but she’s not exactly sane and really shouldn’t be raising a kid.” 

“So I ran away, and there’s no way I’m going to get involved with Batman, because if Mother picked him to be my father, then he’s probably not really sane either. I mean, he runs around at night in his fursona!” Danny argued. He tugged at his arm. “Now let me go!”

Damian wasn’t letting go though. In fact, his grip just got tighter. Danny tried a few techniques he’d learned from his Mother, but none of them worked. Damian had a smug expression on his face as Danny struggled to get away. Bruce and Tim got closer, caging him in. 

Well, screw that! 

“Yeah, no, bye!” Danny told them, turning intangible to Damian’s hand slid off him, his eyes ridiculously wide in shock. 

Not bothering to see the other’s reactions, Danny turned and ran, gripping his bag of goodies tightly. He heard them chasing after him. His legs were short, but all he needed to do was get to the shadows, then he could turn invisible and get away. It didn’t matter if they saw he had powers at this point. He just needed to get away. 

***

The bad thing about spending the whole day in the observatory was that Danny hadn’t picked a nice, safe spot to sleep for the night. Once he was sure he was far enough away from the Waynes, he’d dropped his invisibility then wandered. He’d received so many looks from others. Whatever. Danny could take care of himself. He could tell it was going to rain. He needed to find a place to get some shelter and keep warm for the night. 

Danny found a nice little space to hide and keep warm, under the roof of a large building. The overhang was large enough that it kept him dry. The thick stone slabs on the… bank. It was a bank. The outside of the bank was warm. Well, warmer than elsewhere. From up here, Danny could watch the street and everything that was going on. The bag rustling, he pulled out the model rocket, admiring it. It was really, really nice of Tim to buy this for him. It was a model of the Javelin, the type of rocket that was a spaceship and a jet. It was used exclusively by the Justice League. 

This type of technology hadn’t existed in his old world. He really wanted to fly in one. Or look at the engine of it. Saw how it worked. The specs on it. Danny wanted to know about the aerodynamics of the plane, the material used to make it both sturdy and heatproof for reentry into the atmosphere. He couldn’t always let his adult side take over, or dominate him. So Danny let his younger side out, making the Javelin fly around above him, making soft zooming noises. He thought about if he went with his dad, with Batman, maybe he could get to fly in one. 

Danny shook his head, dispelling that thought. 

It was a nice one, but he didn’t want anything to do with the Bat themed vigilante or the bird themed ones that seemed to flock around him. Danny just wanted to be a normal kid. Well, as normal as he could be. It wasn’t worth sacrificing his normalcy or his freedom to fly in a Javelin, as cool as it would be. Danny put the model on his chest and sighed. He tensed as he heard two people land on the ground by the entrance to the bank. It was Nightwing and Red Hood. Nightwing was hiding something behind his back, a smile on his face.

“That sure was a big sigh! Are you doing alright up there, Danny?” Nightwing asked kindly, giving him a small wave. 

Oh great. 

“I’m fine. Go away,” Danny ordered. 

“Okay. If you come down though, I’ll give you this!” Nightwing brought out what looked like a Build a Bear in an astronaut costume. It was tempting, but Danny wasn’t falling for it. 

“Pass,” Danny told him. Red Hood snickered. Danny eyed him. 

“Are you going to try and convince me to come down too?” He asked the anti-hero. 

“Nah,” came the robotic voice. A voice changer. “I’m just here to watch Goldie fail.” 

“Little wing!” Nightwing complained. Wait a minute. 

“Little wing? Red Hood is bigger and taller than you. How is he little?” Danny asked. 

“Well, he’s younger than me,” Nightwing explained, as if it explained anything! 

“So… Do you call people older than you Big wing?” Danny questioned. The logic wasn’t really logicing for him. Red Hood started chuckling. It sounded kinda weird with the voice modulator. 

Ancients, this place got weirder and weirder the more he learned about it. 

This place wasn’t going to work for the night. He got the feeling that Nightwing was like an overactive golden retriever puppy. Sorry Nightwing, Danny preferred Rottweilers and Doberman. They reminded him of Cujo. He really wanted to sleep. It’d been such a good day at the observatory messing with Damian and hanging out with Tim. He’d liked Mr. Pennyworth too. 

He was shivering and cold, his head was pounding, and snot was dripping from his nose. He’d caught a cold. Danny coughed weakly. His immune system was pretty good, and it had always been good as a halfa. Not eating enough, not getting enough sleep, and being soaked for a while had taken their toll and how he was sick. 

Weakly, Danny stumbled off of the couch, clinging to the blankets around him. They dragged behind him like a little cape. He made his way to the door that had to be Red Robin’s bedroom. Danny knocked. It was faint, way too faint. Gritting his teeth, Danny knocked harder so it could actually be heard. He waited, swaying slightly. Oh, there was movement from inside the bedroom. The door opened, and Danny was looking up at Tim. What was Tim doing - oh. Tim = Red Robin. If his brain was currently trying to boil itself to make him feel better, Danny would think that over a bit more. 

The tool bag is now orbiting our planet just ahead of the ISS with a visual magnitude of around 6, according to EarthSky. That means it is slightly less bright than the ice giant Uranus, the seventh planet from the sun. As a result, the bag  —  officially known as a crew lock bag  —  is slightly too dim to be visible to the unaided eye, but skywatchers should be able to pick it up with binoculars.  To see it for yourself, first find out when you can find spot the space station over the next few months (NASA even has a new app to help you). The bag should be floating two to four minutes ahead of the station. As it descends rapidly, the bag is likely to disintegrate when it reaches an altitude of around 70 miles (113 kilometers) over Earth. 

Bruce is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce does not want to be one of the richest men in world.

He starts by implementing high starting salaries and full health care coverages for all levels at Wayne Enterprises. This in vastly improves retention and worker productivity, and WE profits soar. He increases PTO, grants generous parental and family leave, funds diversity initiatives, boosts salaries again. WE is ranked “#1 worker-friendly corporation”, and productively and profits soar again.

Ok, so clearly investing his workers isn’t the profit-destroying doomed strategy his peers claim it is. Bruce is going to keep doing it obviously (his next initiative is to ensure all part-time and contractors get the same benefits and pay as full time employees), but he is going to have to find a different way to dump his money.

But you know what else is supposed to be prohibitively expensive? Green and ethical initiatives. Yes, Bruce can do that. He creates and fund a 10 year plan to covert all Wayne facilities to renewable energy. He overhauls all factories to employ the best environmentally friendly practices and technologies. He cuts contracts with all suppliers that engage in unethical employment practices and pays for other to upgrade their equipment and facilities to meet WE’s new environmental and safety requirements. He spares no expense.

Yeah, Wayne Enterprises is so successful that they spin off an entire new business arm focused on helping other companies convert to environmentally friendly and safe practices like they did in an efficient, cost effective, successful way.

Admittedly, investing in his own company was probably never going to be the best way to get rid of his wealth. He slashes his own salary to a pittance (god knows he has more money than he could possibly know what to do with already) and keeps investing the profits back into the workers, and WE keeps responding with nearly terrifying success.

So WE is a no-go, and Bruce now has numerous angry billionaires on his back because they’ve been claiming all these measures he’s implementing are too expensive to justify for decades and they’re finding it a little hard to keep the wool over everyone’s eyes when Idiot Softheart Bruice Wayne has money spilling out his ears. BUT Bruce can invest in Gotham. That’ll go well, right?

Gotham’s infrastructure is the OSHA anti-Christ and even what little is up to code is constantly getting destroyed by Rogue attacks. Surely THAT will be a money sink.

Except the only non-corrupt employer in Gotham city is….Wayne Enterprises. Or contractors or companies or businesses that somehow, in some way or other, feed back to WE. Paying wholesale for improvement to Gotham’s infrastructure somehow increases WE’s profits.

Bruce funds a full system overhaul of Gotham hospital (it’s not his fault the best administrative system software is WE—he looked), he sets up foundations and trusts for shelters, free clinics, schools, meal plans, day care, literally anything he can think of.

Gotham continues to be a shithole. Bruce Wayne continues to be richer than god against his Batman-ingrained will.

Oh, and Bruice Wayne is no longer viewed as solely a spoiled idiot nepo baby. The public responds by investing in WE and anything else he owns, and stop doing this, please.

Bruce sets up a foundation to pay the college tuition of every Gotham citizen who applies. It’s so successful that within 10 years, donations from previous recipients more than cover incoming need, and Bruce can’t even donate to his own charity.

But by this time, Bruce has children. If he can’t get rid of his wealth, he can at least distribute it, right?

Except Dick Grayson absolutely refuses to receive any of his money, won’t touch his trust fund, and in fact has never been so successful and creative with his hacking skills as he is in dumping the money BACK on Bruce. Jason died and won’t legally resurrect to take his trust fund. Tim has his own inherited wealth, refuses to inherit more, and in fact happily joins forces with Dick to hack accounts and return whatever money he tries to give them. Cass has no concept of monetary wealth and gives him panicked, overwhelmed eyes whenever he so much as implies offering more than $100 at once. Damian is showing worrying signs of following in his precious Richard’s footsteps, and Babs barely allows him to fund tech for the Clocktower. At least Steph lets him pay for her tuition and uses his credit card to buy unholy amounts of Batburger. But that is hardly a drop in the ocean of Bruce’s wealth. And she won’t even accept a trust fund of only one million.

Jason wins for best-worst child though because he currently runs a very lucrative crime empire. And although he pours the vast, vast majority of his profits back into Crime Alley, whenever he gets a little too rich for his tastes, he dumps the money on Bruce. At this point, Bruce almost wishes he was being used for money laundering because then he’s at least not have the money.

So children—generous, kindhearted, stubborn till the day they die the little shits, children—are also out.

Bruce was funding the Justice League. But then finances were leaked, and the public had an outcry over one man holding so much sway over the world’s superheroes (nevermind Bruce is one of those superheroes—but the public can’t know that). So Bruce had to do some fancy PR trickery, concede to a policy of not receiving a majority of funds from one individual, and significantly decrease his contributions because no one could match his donations.

At his wits end, Bruce hires a team of accounts to search through every crinkle and crevice of tax law to find what loopholes or shortcuts can be avoided in order to pay his damn taxes to the MAX.

The results are horrifying. According to the strictest definition of the law, the government owes him money.

Bruce burns the report, buries any evidence as deeply as he can, and organizes a foundation to lobby for FAR higher taxation of the upper class.

All this, and Wayne Enterprises is happily chugging along, churning profit, expanding into new markets, growing in the stock market, and trying to force the credit and proportionate compensation on their increasingly horrified CEO.

Bruce Wayne is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce Wayne will never not be one of the richest men in the world.

Danny gets a job as the Wayne's PA, and while working with Bruce, he notices something.

The dude's a ditz, for sure, but also.

Also...

He isn't.

Danny realizes it's an act, and that actual ditzyness from the professionals around him drive his new boss up a wall.

But Bruce can't actually point it out, or he reveals that he isn't as ditzy as they say.

Danny decides to have fun; with his powers, he can play an even bigger himbo than Bruce Wayne. (Intangibility will be sure to outplay the Prince of Gotham's clumsiness).

Every time he does his job well, he makes sure to do it in an oblivious fashion that seems like it's going to fail, but then works beautifully.

It's a lot of work, but...the subtle eye twitch of internalized rage? The forced exhale of a quiet, agonized scream of frustration? The sometimes subconscious clenching of the man's fist?

Fucking worth it.

Oh yeah.

Danny’s been trained his entire life for this.

First day of the job. Danny comes in to bring coffee during a meeting, he accidentally spills it all over the documented paperwork. That paperwork however, was to pressure Bruce into signing it after his previous investment failed (due to sabotage) and the shareholders for the project were going to reject it (it was a new hospital that provided free healthcare and patch ups for kids in crime alley) so before Bruce could gather the evidence to expose them, they were going to pressure Bruce to sign the contract which would bind him to their side so any evidence would drag down Wayne enterprises too. But ON NO! The contract is now completely destroyed! Whoopsie! Bad intern. Very bad intern. Oh well! Looks like they’ve have to make a new one for the shareholders to sign. And if Bruce conveniently came to the next meeting with evidence, we’ll, it was just a happy accident. But he should really talk to the new assistant. It would be bad if that happened to actually important documents.

Day 2. Something went wrong with the copying machine. Danny decided to fix it. The copy machine went on a rampage yet nothing was broken and it ended up printing even more copies including the copies waiting to be printed on everyone’s desks (and downloading the files). So while it looked like the machine went around the office eating everyone’s papers it ended up spitting out the copies onto their desks at the same time and ironically, they were ahead of schedule despite the mess.

Day 3. Villain attack. Danny ‘didn’t see’ the villain when he opened that door…by the stairs….he swears! He also didn’t see those goons when he tripped over the rug and hit the copy machine. (The goons saw the copy machine though. They couldn’t run in time a copy machine is unaffected by fear gas.)

Day 10. Danny accidentally sets off the speinklers? There was a fire in lab 24 that was far too close to an experimental chemical they collected from a recent alien invasion to analyze.

Day 42. Oh is that Lex Luthor? I’m sorry, I can’t find your name on the list. A list Lex hacked so his name would be on it but Danny must have ‘dropped’ that piece of paper.

Day 105. A guy randomly broke into the building looking like he was having a panic attack. Oh! Must be a new intern! So here is the schedule, and here is the lounge. Since you aren’t on the clock why don’t you sit down with a blanket and oh no! We’re out of coffee! Guess you’ll have to make due with hot chocolate. What? Mister Bruce sir, that guy wasn’t an intern? Oh well, Jason seemed like he needed a moment to calm down anyways.

Day 136. Danny messes up the schedule. Oh well! He’s committing to the bit! Did that conveniently make time so Batman and Red Robin were able to patrol at the exact moment Bruce an Tim were off? Huh, interesting. It’s almost like the schedule accounted for patrol. Lucky!

Day 179. Danny needs to arrange an inventing convention? Well, let’s just move this here, and this there. Yes, the conspiracy board with red strings is nessasary. It all looks like a chaotic mess. What? You calculated the trajectory of the public traffic so that they would enter based on what they were interested in and make a natural path route for them? And the convention has a 68% increase in success rate? Fascinating.

Day 222. Batman almost revealed as Bruce Wayne. Danny deciding that in order to be the perfect ‘guardian of paperwork’ he must dress the part. There is no dress code anyways. So he comes to work as Batman. For weeks, and even gets the other employees to do so. Man, imagine that the only reason people saw Bruce under the Batman mask was because the boss was part of this mass dress up. Unbelievable, the media feels scammed.

Day 255. Danny trips and lets off the fire alarm? Well, good thing no one was in that building when the plane crashed into it. That could have been bad.

Day 263. Danny must go and organize all this paperwork? Oh it’s done, but no one understands the system. Except Tim in his sleep deprived brain. His work efficiency increased 2 fold (and he laughed at the little comments Danny added to some things). Oh look! He found the paper with Luthor’s name on it!

Day 309. Cyber attack. Danny did…something to the computer. Yes, it was shut down for 24 hours, but all files were somehow saved with only a few things deleted (sorry embezzling account. Looks like you have been discovered, along with all cyber spies, attacks, somehow added extra security, and yet no important projects were deleted? Only a few programs and files of corrupt corporations? Sorry, looks like you’ll have to implement the paper work again.)

Zuko and Toph enjoy travelling together and their favourite disguise in the earth kingdom is: Strong earthbending noble escorting her shy, reclusive older brother.

People thought the Bei Fongs had one (1) daughter who was tiny, blind and fragile - until suddenly she was the avatar's earth bending master, so the public have accept that they know nothing about the Bei Fongs. Who's the say they DIDNT have another child that they carefully hid away? Especially considering THIS child is dressed in neutral browns and muted golds with a veil obscuring his face. And sometimes people catch a glimpse of gold eyes or scar tissue through the gauzy fabric. It makes sense that the Bei Fongs would hide away a child born of an affair with a firebender.

Toph loves playing the part of escort. She gets to boss him about, and drag him all around the best restaurants, and ordering an outrageous amount of food for him. It's nice having people default to speaking to HER as the authority figure, after spending so much time in the presence of the Avatar and the Fire Lord.

And Zuko gets to be anonymous. He's not the Fire Lord when he puts that veil on, he's a reclusive and fragile noble who no one looks to to make decisions. He gets to switch his brain off and let Toph drag him around and speak for him. It's freeing.

The older nobility don't like that Zuko is a product of an affair AND has Fire Nation blood. Which just makes the younger nobility even more interested. They don't get many chances to rebel (esp in a way thats still sort of socially acceptable) but when they do, they grab it with both hands.

So Toph has to field a sudden barrage of questions and letters of interest and request for courtship about her "brother." Zuko is mortified. Toph is delighted. She gets to play the overprotective family member in a purposeful way that embarrasses Zuko even further.

- guy at work "Yes, and -" ing the bit me and my coworker were doing where we pretended to be owners of a fantasy medieval tavern not minimum wage retail staff

- at the gay club when Die Young by Kesha came on and two hundred people, all dancing and drinking separately, jumped up and down to make the "- beat of the drums *STOMP STOMP*" as loud as possible

- person who watched me stomp round the beach singing a made up song about breakfast foods to name a cat after and suggested more breakfast foods that would be good cat names

- guy who started a dance off with everyone across the road while waiting for the lights to change

Danny going to Gotham and being mistaken for one of the Wayne children and just rolling with it. Better yet, he uses it to try and help the ghosts.

Reporter: Mr. Wayne! Can you tell us what Wayne Industries is working on now?

Danny: Wayne Industries is currently working to annul the law that was currently enacted by the GIW.

When they ask him to clarify he just repeats exactly what sam has been saying. That it calls for death of an entire species. One that they don’t understand. That it’s a dangerous thing as it opens potential ways to dispose of meta protections.

By doing this they have to push forward. Obviously they would regardless. But if they suddenly were to go whoops nvm. We’re not doing that. It would make the company look so bad.

And they get their revenge. Bruce is on TV the very next day “Well as soon as my son Danny brought this to our attention we knew we had to act.” Flip the channel, there’s Duke and Steph on a talk show “we absolutely support our brother Danny’s campaign.” Turn to the newspaper, there’s an in-depth interview with Tim about how the Acts are unconstitutional and “I personally know people affected by these Acts, so this is important to all of us, and I’m glad my brother Danny has been able to help us bring this to light.”

Next time Danny leaves the place he’s staying in, he’s just passing a street coffee stand with a bit of a queue in front of it when Dick Grayson clasps his shoulder and hands him a drink “Danny! Glad you could make it! Here you go, just how you like it,” and then he hands another drink to Bruce Wayne who has somehow materialised on his other side and is slinging an arm around his shoulder.

And all the people in the queue have turned to look and a few of them have their phones out and…

Well, now he has to play along, doesn’t he?

He’s got to hand it to them. Turnabout’s fair play.

They have a long conversation about progress on the campaign and next steps, exactly as if they’d been working with him on it all along. Danny is actually impressed with how much they know and how far they’ve got. Even when they all sit down on a park bench and no-one’s in earshot (though they’re still very much in public view) they keep the conversation focused on that and never give any indication that Danny is not part of their family.

“Good news! Jason’s agreed to make a statement!”

“Wow, what did that cost?” says Dick.

“Two unspecified favours, the latest concept wPhone, five hundred grams of C4 and his next three gala slots.”

“That’s cheap,” grunts Bruce.

“I know, right!”

“Well, it makes sense,” says Dick. “All of Gotham already knows he’s been dead. They’re probably already asking him about it.”

“Oh they are. Have you seen his Witter feed today?”

Meanwhile Danny is checking out here because there’s a ghost Wayne? And Dick is implying there’s more than one? And oh no. Danny’s drawn attention to them – he’s put them in danger – he –

Hands on his shoulders, grounding him. Blue eyes looking at him.

“Danny? It’s all right.” It’s Bruce. “Let us take care of this.”

“But why? You’re not really…”

Like he went on television, outed the government for genocide while pretending to be a well known and respected families kid and saying that the family is already in the process of stopping the genocide.

And now it’s kind of out of control? On the plus side, the Waynes are very invested in getting the Acts done away with. Which is understandable, as it turns out that almost all of them have died at least once – Jason’s just the only one for whom that’s public knowledge.

There are protections and wards around the Batcave and Wayne Manor, and, due to his halfa status, Danny can interact… strangely with these wards. There is one ward in particular that allows him to enter the premises with no issues, but, well-- He hasn't been able to leave now. And it's kind of a problem.

Danny hadn't noticed the wards cleverly hidden in the intricate carvings around the entryways to Wayne manor, but then, neither had Sam and the occult was kinda Her Thing, so really, Danny was blameless here and Tucker could stop laughing at them over the phone at any time.

part 1

I got bored at work and you know what that meansss. Continued under the cut.

dp x dc promp

Jason Todd rented a small apartment, he has a roommate in it. This dude pays half a rent. But Jason almost never fucking sees him.

Danny is working strange shifts, was the explanation.

And one day Jason comes home and Danny sleeps at the kitchen table. Or at least Jason thought he was sleeping, but he was dead.

Then while Jason checked what could have happened, Danny opens his eyes says good day and walks away.

That happens around three times, and Danny at some point just started walking through the walls, since Jason knew something was off anyway, so no need for hiding his powers.

So Jason's roommate is Strange.

Since returning from the dead he'd tried everything to control the pit madness.

Revenge. Didn't work. Made it worse actually.

So he'd tried modern medicine. Dr. Thompkins had run every test she could think of and everything came back perfectly normal. No help there.

Meditation. Only barely helped and most days did nothing at all.

Yoga. Aromatherapy. Acupuncture.

Nope. Nothing. Nadda.

He'd even gone to a therapist which, admittedly had helped with some his other problems, but hadn't done anything to stop the green from creeping into his vision and robbing him of his self control.

Jason makes Danny an “I Aten’t Dead” card for him to hold if he’s going to be napping in odd places in the apartment

It doesn’t always work, sometimes Danny just passes out without noticing, but for the sake of Jason’s sanity Danny does keep the card on him and tries to pull it out of a pocket if he’s getting dozy and doesn’t want to move

This turns out to be VITAL once Jason’s family eventually (inevitably) work out where they live

It’s been about two years now, a couple months after Danny and Jason finally opened up about why each of them were here

(Danny personally found it very funny that Jason had thought he needed a home to live in but had not put together that since he would also be living there it would need to be his home too, no shit they had to care about each other)

Danny was actually taking care of himself a little better these days too! Hard not to, with a whole ass crime-lord absolutely intent on cooking him three squares a day and making sure he was comfortable

(Danny was considering teasing Jason about his constant mother henning, but then Jason might not make him cookies every weekend)

He’s still not great about moving from the couch to the bed though, especially not on the off chance he and Jason had a movie night together, but also when he’s home alone watching tv

Which is why he’s really glad he’d pulled out his “I Aten’t Dead” card when he wakes up to see Robin and Red Robin hunched over poking his face, while Nightwing and Jason scream at each other in the kitchen

Danny doesn’t bother trying to defend himself or explain

He just throws the card in Red Robin’s face, declares they better not follow him to work, and leaves

Jason: 🙄 Guys. My roommate's just as dead as I am!

Danny: *suddenly Not Dead* So, like, half. 😃

When the moon splits in two and your nightmares come true, Vithimorex...