mood
Not today Justin

â
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@polysymphonic
mood

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A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. âDo I look like a fool?â said the frog. âYouâd sting me if I let you on my back!â
âBe logical,â said the scorpion. âIf I stung you Iâd certainly drown myself.â
âThatâs true,â the frog acknowledged. âClimb aboard, then!â But no sooner than they were halfway across the river, the scorpion stung the frog, and they both began to thrash and drown. âWhy on earth did you do that?â the frog said morosely. âNow weâre both going to die.âÂ
âI canât help it,â said the scorpion. âItâs my nature.â
___
âŚBut no sooner than they were halfway across the river, the frog felt a subtle motion on its back, and in a panic dived deep beneath the rushing waters, leaving the scorpion to drown.
âIt was going to sting me anyway,â muttered the frog, emerging on the other side of the river. âIt was inevitable. You all knew it. Everyone knows what those scorpions are like. It was self-defense.â
___
âŚBut no sooner had they cast off from the bank, the frog felt the tip of a stinger pressed lightly against the back of its neck. âWhat do you think youâre doing?â said the frog.
âJust a precaution,â said the scorpion. âI cannot sting you without drowning. And now, you cannot drown me without being stung. Fairâs fair, isnât it?â
They swam in silence to the other end of the river, where the scorpion climbed off, leaving the frog fuming.
âAfter the kindness I showed you!â said the frog. âAnd you threatened to kill me in return?â
âKindness?â said the scorpion. âTo only invite me on your back after you knew I was defenseless, unable to use my tail without killing myself? My dear frog, I only treated you as I was treated. Your kindness was as poisoned as a scorpionâs sting.â
___
âŚâJust a precaution,â said the scorpion. âI cannot sting you without drowning. And now, you cannot drown me without being stung. Fairâs fair, isnât it?â
âYou have a point,â the frog acknowledged. âBut once we get to dry land, couldnât you sting me then without repercussion?â
âAll I want is to cross the river safely,â said the scorpion. âOnce Iâm on the other side I would gladly let you be.â
âBut I would have to trust you on that,â said the frog. âWhile youâre pressing a stinger to my neck. By ferrying you to land Iâd be be giving up the one deterrent I hold over you.â
âBut by the same logic, I canât possibly withdraw my stinger while weâre still over water,â the scorpion protested.
The frog paused in the middle of the river, treading water. âSo, I suppose weâre at an impasse.â
The river rushed around them. The scorpionâs stinger twitched against the frogâs unbroken skin. âI suppose so,â the scorpion said.
___
A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. âAbsolutely not!â said the frog, and dived beneath the waters, and so none of them learned anything.
___
A scorpion, being unable to swim, asked a turtle (as in the original Persian version of the fable) to carry it across the river. The turtle readily agreed, and allowed the scorpion aboard its shell. Halfway across, the scorpion gave in to its nature and stung, but failed to penetrate the turtleâs thick shell. The turtle, swimming placidly, failed to notice.
They reached the other side of the river, and parted ways as friends.
___
âŚHalfway across, the scorpion gave in to its nature and stung, but failed to penetrate the turtleâs thick shell.
The turtle, hearing the tap of the scorpionâs sting, was offended at the scorpionâs ungratefulness. Thankfully, having been granted the powers to both defend itself and to punish evil, the turtle sank beneath the waters and drowned the scorpion out of principle.
___
A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. âDo I look like a fool?â sneered the frog. âYouâd sting me if I let you on my back.â
The scorpion pleaded earnestly. âDo you think so little of me? Please, I must cross the river. What would I gain from stinging you? I would only end up drowning myself!â
âThatâs true,â the frog acknowledged. âEven a scorpion knows to look out for its own skin. Climb aboard, then!â
But as they forged through the rushing waters, the scorpion grew worried. This frog thinks me a ruthless killer, it thought. Would it not be justified in throwing me off now and ridding the world of me? Why else would it agree to this? Every jostle made the scorpion more and more anxious, until the frog surged forward with a particularly large splash, and in panic the scorpion lashed out with its stinger.
âI knew it,â snarled the frog, as they both thrashed and drowned. âA scorpion cannot change its nature.â
___
A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. The frog agreed, but no sooner than they were halfway across the scorpion stung the frog, and they both began to thrash and drown.
âIâve only myself to blame,â sighed the frog, as they both sank beneath the waters. âYou, youâre a scorpion, I couldnât have expected anything better. But I knew better, and yet I went against my judgement! And now Iâve doomed us both!â
âYou couldnât help it,â said the scorpion mildly. âItâs your nature.âÂ
___
âŚâWhy on earth did you do that?â the frog said morosely. âNow weâre both going to die.â
âAlas, I was of two natures,â said the scorpion. âOne said to gratefully ride your back across the river, and the other said to sting you where you stood. And so both fought, and neither won.â It smiled wistfully. âAh, it would be nice to be just one thing, wouldnât it? Unadulterated in nature. Without the capacity for conflict or regret.â
___
âBy the way,â said the frog, as they swam, âIâve been meaning to ask: Whatâs on the other side of the river?â
âItâs the journey,â said the scorpion. âNot the destination.â
___
âŚâWhatâs on the other side of anything?â said the scorpion. âA new beginning.â
___
âŚâAnother scorpion to mate with,â said the scorpion. âAnd more prey to kill, and more living bodies to poison, and a forthcoming lineage of cruelties that you will be culpable in.â
___
âŚâNothing we will live to see, I fear,â said the scorpion. âAlready the currents are growing stronger, and the river seems like it shall swallow us both. We surge forward, and the shoreline recedes. But does that mean our striving was in vain?â
___
âI love you,â said the scorpion.
The frog glanced upward. âDo you?â
âAbsolutely. Can you imagine the fear of drowning? Of course not. Youâre a frog. Might as well be scared of breathing air. And yet here I am, clinging to your back, as the waters rage around us. Isnât that love? Isnât that trust? Isnât that necessity? I could not kill you without killing myself. Are we not inseparable in this?â
The frog swam on, the both of them silent.
___
âIâm so tired,â murmured the frog eventually. âHow much further to the other side? I donât know how long weâve been swimming. Iâve been treading water. And itâs getting so very dark.â
âShh,â the scorpion said. âDonât be afraid.â
The frogâs legs kicked out weakly. âHow long has it been? Weâre lost. Weâre lost! Weâre doomed to be cast about the waters forever. There is no land. Thereâs nothing on the other side, donât you see!â
âShh, shh,â said the scorpion. âMy venom is a hallucinogenic. Beneath its surface, the river is endlessly deep, its currents carrying many things.âÂ
âYou - Youâve killed us both,â said the frog, and began to laugh deliriously. âIs this - is this what itâs like to drown?âÂ
âWeâve killed each other,â said the scorpion soothingly. âMy venom in my glands now pulsing through your veins, the waters of your birthing pool suffusing my lungs. We are engulfing each other now, drowning in each other. I am breathless. Do you feel it? Do you feel my sting pierced through your heart?â
âWhat a foolish thing to do,â murmured the frog. âNo logic. No logic to it at all.â
âWe couldnât help it,â whispered the scorpion. âItâs our natures. Why else does anything in the world happen? Because we were made for this from birth, darling, every moment inexplicable and inevitable. What a crazy thing it is to fall in love, and yet - Itâs all our fault! We are both blameless. Weâre together now, darling. It couldnât have happened any other way.â
___
âItâs funny,â said the frog. âI canât say that I trust you, really. Or that I even think very much of you and that nasty little stinger of yours to begin with. But Iâm doing this for you regardless. Itâs strange, isnât it? Itâs strange. Why would I do this? I want to help you, want to go out of my way to help you. I let you climb right onto my back! Now, whyever would I go and do a foolish thing like that?â
___
A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. âDo I look like a fool?â said the frog. âYouâd sting me if I let you on my back!â
âBe logical,â said the scorpion. âIf I stung you Iâd certainly drown myself.â Â
âThatâs true,â the frog acknowledged. âCome aboard, then!â But no sooner had the scorpion mounted the frogâs back than it began to sting, repeatedly, while still safely on the riverâs bank.
The frog groaned, thrashing weakly as the venom coursed through its veins, beginning to liquefy its flesh. âAh,â it muttered. âFor some reason I never considered this possibility.â
âBecause you were never scared of me,â the scorpion whispered in its ear. âYou were never scared of dying. In a past life you wore a shell and sat in judgement. And then you were reborn: soft-skinned, swift, unburdened, as new and vulnerable as a child, moving anew through a world of children. How could anyone ever be cruel, you thought, seeing the precariousness of it all?â The scorpion bowed its head and drank. âHow could anyone kill you without killing themselves?â
You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, now in quarantine
So I had the strangest dream this weekend and nobody understands me so I need to share it with you because you might. Press J to skip this post if you canât deal, I will accept this.
In my dream I was standing on the back deck of a rural cabin that overlooked a beautiful Vermont/Scottish Highlands landscape of unspoiled wilderness. It was a crisp, perfect autumn morning. I held a cup of cooling coffee in my hands as I leaned against the railing and scanned the perfect rolling hills in the midground, behind which the great patterned mountains with their snowcaps marched on until they blended with the horizon: #aesthetic
As I gazed at a distant meadow clearing in the trees, a pair of brightly coloured humanoid creatures emerged from the woods and began to dance for each other. It was an esoteric, beautiful mating dance, a strange combination of instinct and choreography. I felt awe washing over me. I marvelled. I felt a deep sense of wonder and peace as I observed this vanishingly rare encounter that I had never thought to observe in person. These animals were instantly recognisable but had never been studied in the wild. I felt incredibly humbled and privileged to witness this behaviour - I knew that I was the first human witness to observe this behaviour - and I reached for my phone, wondering if I should film it, so it could join the scholarly record, where it NEEDED to be. This could change everything. But then I held back - something told me âno,â to let the creatures have their privacy.
Ok, I canât go any further without telling you that they were Teletubbies.
A red one and a yellow one. I know. I know. Stay with me here.
The cryptids melted back into the woods. My subconscious drew a discreet veil over the rest of their mating ritual, but I knew instinctively that this had been a dance of courtship. I was busy pondering the implications, because they were critical. You see, although the creatures were instantly recognisable as Teletubbies, as I had studied them, even at a distance, I had an incredible realisation.
They were adult Teletubbies.
This realisation dawned on me and in my dream I understood it fully. The ones that we know of - the captive ones that we have seen on television - are juveniles. In fact, they are the equivalent of toddlers. When you see the adults this becomes obvious. The garbled speech and silly movements of the four captive Teletubbies we know are the babbles of babyhood, a private primal toddler-language brewed up between sentient beings who have never encountered an adult of their own kind.
The adult Teletubbies have more branching, complex antlers and shaggy coats. They are less brightly coloured. They are terrifyingly large. Their strangely human faces, emerging from the thick fur, are unquestionably adult; remote, serene, reproachful. Their television screens are glitchy, esoteric and unknowable. They are cryptids whose public exploitation has undermined their rarity and their strange, alien dignity.
In my dream my feelings of awe and peace turned to great sadness at the fate of the captive toddler Teletubbies. I realised that I had to be the scientist who brought this discovery to the world and raised awareness of their plight. And I also questioned: are Teletubbies like axolotls? Do they exhibit neoteny? (Axolotls, the cute aquarium pets with flaring gills, are actually juveniles of an amphibious species - if given the right conditions theyâll grow up into land-dwelling black newts. But they can breed in their aquatic juvenile form, and most spend their whole lives in this form. Deprived of their wild potential, will the Teletubbies ever mature? Or are they merely experiencing a long childhood, natural for a species that is unimaginably long-lived?)
So in my dream my husband came out onto the back deck and I began to share these discoveries with him and before I could even bring up the axolotls he just said âwhat the fucking fuckâ and went away again.
I woke up disgruntled and unable to capture the feeling of peace and sadness. I then tried to explain this to my husband in the waking world, and he said âwhat the fucking fuckâ and walked away before I even got to the explanation of the Teletubbies being toddlers, which just goes to show that you never know someone as well as you think you do.
Anyway Iâm sure you guys will join me in this knowledge. And also Iâve googled it and apparently the Teletubbies reboot features infant Teletubbies, so clearly they are getting more from somewhere and the time to question this is NOW
I have a personal theory that how a dream makes you feel is more meaningful than the content.
What I got from your dream was a sense of wonder and privilege (the good kind), followed by the need to bear witness and advocate for the cryptids. Topped off with a disturbingly accurate example of the attitudes youâd face.
(staring nobly into the distance) yes. yes, you understand. you understand.
Iâm so sorry but this is what came to mind and so this is what I drew
Holy
Thank you so much for sharing that dream, it was EXACTLY what I needed to stop feeling like shit. Now I, too, am honored by the knowledge of adult teletubbies.
Hereâs my take on this lovely cryptid.
WHOA Iâm sorry I missed this. this is magnificent. the feet and hands are really spooky. it definitely fills me with the Fear.
So I spent the last few hours drawing and animating this and I cannot believe I did so enjoy Iâm gonna pass out and probably deal with similar dreams nowÂ
Yes, this is definitely the Fear.Â
ayo hereâs my two cents :D Thanks for the inspo, friendo
idk how old this flippin is but I was like HEY BEAR CUB BABIES and as they get older theyâre some mixture of moose, grizzley and megatherium (giant, ancient sloth).Â
!!!!!!!!!!
@copperbadge for cryptid theories?
I canât go any further without telling you that they were Teletubbies DEVASTATED ME. Â

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fucking losing it at the concept of a reverse Holmes and Watson like there's this genius journalist who goes around solving crimes and writes about how he does it and then there's his useless himbo assistant who does fuck all and just follows him around absolutely out of his mind on cocaine
WOSGHFDHFHDHFHDH
Okay so the Count, the Swedish Chef, and Dr. Bunsen Honeydew & Beaker are all very good contenders for Potions Professor in a Muppet adaptation of Harry Potter, but my brother and I have concluded that the best, the absolute best version of this is to have Snape be one of the human characters. So we can have him standing there attempting to look dignified while surrounded by rambunctious muppet students, and having serious conversations with Professor McGonagall (who is a muppet cat in a witchâs hat and glasses who sometimes turns into a real cat). There might be multiple Potions Professors but Snape is human.
And heâs played by Daniel Radcliffe.
you know those stories where the swan takes off itâs feathered cloak and turns into a sexy lady that some creepy farm dude marries? that but instead of a swan itâs the goose from untitled goose game and instead of being a sexy spouse itâs just doing the same things it always does it just has hands to more effectively grab things and longer legs to run with and instead of trying to keep the feathered cloak from it everyone is desperately trying to get it to put it back on
I may have been inspired
very important that Goose is now running around 100% butt ass naked the whole time
Concept: fairy tale where the wicked step-parent (who is of course also some sort of warlock) transforms the princess into a swan, as one does, but rather than running off to mope around in a lake and be beautifully tragic, the princess decides to stick around the palace and cause problems on purpose.
It is a beautiful day in the palace, and you are a horrible swan princess.
The Power of Leverage
Hey, so many of you are familiar with fix-it fanfiction, the superglue which holds together the hearts canon has shattered, right? Well, I have a point to make. As of right now (1-28-2020), there are 6,659 fanfictions in the Leverage category on AO3. You know how many of those are fix-it fics? 25. A measly 0.38% of Leverage fanfiction is tagged as fix-it. For comparison, 2.20% of MCU fanfiction and 1.25% of Supernatural fanfiction are fix-its.
So yeah, Leverage is so amazing that hardly anything needs to be fixed. But we already knew that. No, it gets better. Of those 25 fix-it fanfictions, 16 (64%) of them are actually fix-its for OTHER fandoms. Leverage has been used in fix-its for White Collar, The Walking Dead, Coupling (UK), The Flash, DCâs Legends of Tomorrow, Kings, Person of Interest, Pacific Rim, Once Upon a Time, The Losers, Merlin, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and the actual 2016 US election (yeah, that).
The point here, being, not only is Leverageâs own canon one of the most perfect to grace television, it is so brilliant that it can literally bust in and fix everyone elseâs canon as well.
The bit about fixing other fandoms literally made me laugh out loud. Maybe more of a cackle. I love this show so much
Parker: *to the heartbroken or otherwise traumatised characters of other franchises* You are suffering under a tremendous weight. We provide⌠leverage.

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the entities as wtnv tweets
The Buried
The Corruption
The Dark
The Desolation
The End
The Eye
The Flesh
The Hunt
The Lonely
The Slaughter
The Spiral
The Stranger
The Vast
The Web
I know Insta Repeat is a critique of bandwagoning and the homogeneity of social media, but some of their grids are making me feel rather fond of humans and our collective dedication to our task of recording for posterity the existence of shaggy cows, raindrops, cool ferns, the moon.
when pompeii was first being excavated and studied ppl were writing about how there were literal hundreds of brothels. every street and every corner. and this was kind of accepted for a couple of years before someone went âhey that doesnât actually make any sense at all. what are you using as proof there are so many brothels? whatâs the criteria for it to count?â and it turned out ppl were like âoh if thereâs a dick drawn on it itâs a brothel.â
so anyway after re-evaluating the criteria thereâs only one single building in all of pompeii that researchers are pretty sure was a brothel.
while the âpicture of penis = brothelâ thing IS really dumb it does provide the wonderful mental image of archaeologists just going around and marking every dick they find on a map and growing more and more horrified and disgustedÂ
All great suggestionsÂ
This post gets better every time I see it
I know "my dear" is just like, normal bro talk for victorians but will my gay ass ever be able to handle it? No
Imagine if like 150 years from now "bro" ends up having Connotations and the Future Tumblr gays are all losing their minds about how tender classical literature sounds
Someone circa 2019: what's up my mans
Gays in 2205: oh my god his mans.......

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Interpretation! And! Translation! Are! Hard! F*cking! Work!
These fields deserve so much more respect and reverence.
UNDEFEATABLE
Great news tbh
finally some good news this year
Ah yes. The Durham Can Opener strikes again.
heartwarming to see the website still going strong and thereâs a documentary too ⌠they sell âcrash artâ from the wreckage lmfao
the driver of this truck stopped, got out, looked up at the bridge, got back in, and decided to try it. hit it immediately. poetry