Swooping Is... Bad

📣 God said to listen to Lil Nas X's new single Holiday

A simple truth.

KING

Not to detract from the good message my man is presenting, but that sound he makes at the end did something to my chakras.

Important detail: both have incredibly broad Australian accents

the human stress response seems so maladaptive!

To be fair 99% of our evolutionary stress response was meant to deal with far more immediately conclusive scenarios than the tedious bullshit we put up with these days.

very very slow tigers are chasing me

not to leave a serious comment on a silly post but one of the best pieces of advice I ever got about stress was to SLEEP but secondly, when overwhelmed, lay in a bed and intentionally hold all your muscles clenched. clench EVERYTHING. hold it for a few seconds, then let go. It tricks your animal fight-or-flight monkey brain into thinking it had, and won, a fight, and some of the stress response will leave you

#turn a slow tiger into a fast tiger with this fucked up trick

enrichment speedrun

Rosemary? You mean spicy pine needles?

Are you insinuating that regular pine needles aren't spicy???

Regular pine needles are regular

Not by rosemary standards

...Have you eaten pine needles?

We've been friends for like four years, do you seriously have to ask if I've eaten pine needles or not

I mean I’m pretty sure you have but I don’t want to assume

Of course I've eaten pine needles. Various kinds. Singleleaf pinyon is weirdly the best

You know, I'd love to tell you but I'm pretty unclear about what marks the difference between "spice" and "strong-tasting plant that isn't considered a spice"

I’ll have to eat some pine needles myself then to find out

Ok but it only counts if they're PINE needles and not just any old needle-like leaf off a tree

I’m going to eat every needle-like leaf I see

Please Don't Do That

Needle-Like Leaf Roulette

...I'll accept this plan as long as you promise not to eat any yew leaves.

I can try very hard not to

Pine needles are distinguished by the presence of a sheath-like structure at the base of the leaf, almost always holding bundles of two or more leaves. Yews don't have the sheath thing

It’s time for me to go out into the woods and stare at needle leaves

Finally you can gain real insight into my average daily life

this conversation reads like two shakespeare characters who come out in the middle of the play to talk about something completely unrelated for comic relief and then are never heard from again

Blocked

Parried

Did anyone have “moon hatching” for November?

*slowly raises a trembling hand*

reblog per il sociale

OH MY GOD. ACTUALLY USEFUL LIFEHACKS. I HAVE MISSED YOU.

Nice

on the first day of classes professors will usually ask us to fill out a little notecard with our name, pronouns, major, and email. one dude in one of my history classes was very clearly one of those Anti-SJW Bullshit People and went “Uhhh pronouns? Ha, what’s that supposed to mean? I’m clearly a dude I don’t understand what you’re asking” and the professor just looked him in the eye and went “If you don’t know what a pronoun is then maybe a college level course isn’t for you” and i think about her every single day of my life

The way this is framed makes it look like he’s saying all of these in sequence

you know those birds that u see in super mario odyssey that just like exist and land on mario when he sleeps… i think i would like to be one of those… not sure which type yet though

This is hands down the best tik tok ever made.

mAM dOES yOUR hUSBAND HAVE NIPPLES

A universal experience.

the video was sO FUNNY and then the last reply melted my entire heart