The Best of Tumblr

shoveling handfuls of baby carrots into my mouth after jerking off to create a pavlovian response that allows me to see fine details at 2 miles whenever I get an erection

popping my back isnt enough i need to be picked up and slammed against the wall like a wet trout

Sure i’ll reblog that

Oh I will ABSOLUTELY REBLOG THAT

I love this and it was literally the best way to show it. By starting with the practice you get to see how hard they worked on this and that it isn’t like edited or visual effects, plus you get the satisfaction of seeing the finished product at the end

endless modding potential

Snow flakes have the same structure as human neurons. Some scientists have suggested that, water being conductive, large snow banks may be able to function as intelligent brains.

Someone come here and debunk this shit

I can help! As a scientist, I’ve done some research, and this was posted by a blog called “facts I just made up” and have since hypothesized that it is a made up untruthful words.

hey girl are you a worm because

goddammit. i hit post too early

hey girl are you a worm because i am hooked on you

actually i guess it would be. hey girl are you a hook because i am wormed on you

no it wouldn't that's nothing

hey girl are you a fishing rod because i am hooked on you

hey girl are you a fishing rod because i'd like to reel you in

hey girl. fish

Gandalf throwing his staff at gollum is what really makes this

Thank you for commenting because I was going to scroll past this. 

One moment you’re 17 and daydreaming about how glamorous your life will be when you’re finally an adult, then all of sudden it’s a decade later and “treating yourself” means buying full price pistacchios and taking a bath on a week night.