pagan bitch

Tasty Fried Food

i was a freshman in college and i had this history teacher who was ~edgy~ and his hotness level on ratemyprofessor was off the charts and he was the first teacher i ever heard use the word “fuck.” anyway he would do this thing every so often where we’d have a “quiz” and the first two questions were always really easy and the last one was hard - they were all similar questions, and the point was to show what you learn about history and what you don’t. 

so one day he’s like okay kids time for a quiz and the first question was who killed abraham lincoln. the second question was who killed JFK. third question was who killed william mckinley. 

we all take a few minutes and write down our answers, and then the teacher asks the questions again so we can shout out the answers. everybody answered the first two with really no problem.

now, keep in mind that this class was at 9 a.m. and i was exhausted All The Time during my freshman year of college so i sat in the back in my sweats and never said a word and the teacher definitely had no clue who i was. 

so you can imagine his surprise when he asked the class who shot william mckinley and without missing a beat i said, “czolgosz,” pronounced correctly and everything. 

my teacher froze and in a very stern voice asked, “what was that? what did someone just say?”

i repeated: czolgosz.

my teacher: “who said that?”

i raised my hand, and my super cool history teacher glared at me. he then asked me how the hell i knew the answer. he said that in the TWENTY YEARS he’d been teaching this stupid class, nobody, not A SINGLE PERSON, had ever known the answer to that question.

do you ever just have

that one class

that one freaking class

that just depresses you when you think about it because

And we all just went “OH SHIT!!! LOKI’S KING!!! EVERYONE’S FUCKED!!!” But then Ragnarok rolled around and it turns out all he does is

Watch plays of himself and

THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUnk thunkthunkthunk 

@mordredoforkney ask and ye shall receive

Tiny dirty stray kitten hanging out at the bottom of our stairs since yesterday. There are a lot of self-reliant ferals around our apartment, but this little thing was dirty & covered in burrs. We gave it some chicken but couldn’t catch it. I think it may have wandered over from the outdoor cat hoarder colony down the street; that house is awful & we saw kittens there last week.

This morning the downstairs neighbor managed to grab it for us, and I put it on this cozy towel & started combing and picking the burrs & sticks out of its fur. It calmed down immediately and has been chilling here with me in the kitchen ever since. Got a vet appointment in an hour to get my little buddy cleaned up & checked out. I hope it isn’t too sick; I think it might have a cold.

Me, a trans man on the danger list for ovarian cancer and is going to get them removed in the distant or near future:

“you need ovaries to be a wombyn!!!”

transman: guess who got that shit removed I’m a Real Boy™ now

“nO not like that you still have a uterus that makes you female!!!”

ciswoman who’s had a complete hysterectomy: guess i’m not a woman then

“tHAT”S NOT WHAT I MEANT if you have a vagina/vulva you’re female!!!”

transwoman who’s had bottom surgery: oooh i’ve got one of those does that mean i’m a Real Girl™ now??”

“NO YOU DON’T HAVE OVARIES OR A UTERUS”

literally everyone except terfs: *squints*