Me when I Fucking Get You

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

My therapist gave me this exact handout last week and I just shared it with a friend.

the second eel at the end in its little cuck shelter 💜

“don’t take it personally” how would you like me to take it then? professionally? romantically? academically?

I'm still thinking about the guy who saw me realize my wheelchair wouldn't fit in the elevator because he (also a wheelchair user) was already inside it and immediately quipped, "This elevator ain't accessible enough for the both of us."

i think a lot of liberal or left leaning adults who were extremely online as children view efforts to curb the amount of noxious shit kids are exposed to online as “puritan pearl clutching” because “they turned out okay” after being mostly unsupervised as kids, but then a lot of them are miserably depressed and suffering long term emotional and psychological damage from the fucking avalanche of bigotry they were exposed to on 4chan or reddit or kiwifarms or encyclopediadramatica or somethingawful or whatever. like putting aside that the online ecoystem is TOTALLY different now and it is a lot easier for kids to just suddenly end up on nazi youtube than it was for you as a kid to navigate the labyrinth of late 90s/early 2000s internet, a lot of you VERY CLEARLY did not turn out okay, and that’s not even getting into the fact that other adults like you who were extremely online like you are the ones who are radicalizing teenagers now! where do you think they absorbed all of that propaganda, actually? do you think analog modes of communication is how we got to gamergate? figure it the fuck out

i step out onto stage clad in full corpse paint and death metal regalia and start playing the most middle-of-the-road soft rock you've heard since 1974

There was a girl on neopets a few years back who had a pet tick. She'd post pics of it in polly pocket playsets. I gotta find it again it sounds too fake

i love the phrase "which could mean nothing" i think its my favorite thing to come out of the internet ever i love saying it. it could mean nothing but we all know better. we know the truth.

who turned them german mid tag ?

how do you know they were transformed midday?

if youre in the US (especially the northeast + michigan) i would avoid bagged salads/greens and generally wash your produce very thoroughly unless you want the diarrhea parasite

also note this is a PARASITIC infection. most diarrhea-causing pathogens you expect to contaminate your greens are bacteria (e.g. e. coli and salmonella), which are a different domain of organism altogether. cyclospora is a protozoan, which is bigger and more complicated than a bacteria (for reference, malaria is also caused by a protozoan). bacterial diarrhea can be dangerous, but you might also expect to weather it and survive unscathed. do NOT fuck with PARASITIC contamination. you should be scared of this one!