a collection

guy currently hurtling toward a migraine at a rate that would impress most astrophysicists: i wonder wgat is happening in my beautiful telephone

the best piece of relationship advice i ever got was “a relationship isn’t 50/50, it’s 60/40 with each party excited to be the 60”. which to me means that you should be with someone who makes you want to do more, be more, open your heart even wider. why WOULDNT you like making life easier for your loved one(s)?

Whenever they gave us one of those "read through ALL the instructions before you begin!" trick assignments in school where the steps lead you on an increasingly ridiculous goose chase until the final one tells you to just put your name on the paper and turn it in without doing anything else, I was always like, "Okay, but what's the point? Surely the REAL world won't be anything like this." And then I grew up and discovered that not only is the real world often exactly like that, some people won't even read the first line of the instructions even if they make perfect sense. And these people are called "co-workers"

hey girl. you can call me taylor farms lettuce. cause i'm trying to blow that ass out from coast to coast

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.

now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"

Hotdog vender lays down their life to protect their suicidal partner, who then takes over the hotdog stand to carry on their memory...

It's like talking to a 2010 Old Spice commercial with you people

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

Being an adult will have you unironically sad about a parasite outbreak in fresh vegetables.

UNMUTE 💯 🥺

why does oscar wilde take 150 pages to write something he could literally say in a paragraph

gay

compelling argument

what does this say about victor hugo

no he was just french

R.R Tolkien?

autistic infodumping

Put this together and I dread to think how long a novel by an autistic gay Frenchman would be. :p

18th century trans guy trying to explain why he never went through masculinizing puberty: funny story, actually! So when I was a boy, I was really good at singing...

Or, alternatively, a trans man who pretends to be a castrato so he can have a career in opera and live independently as a man.