💜Beth💜

Hi, I Beth. I’m 17 years old. They/them pronouns. Non-binary. Medium-High support needs.

I have autism, borderline intellectual disability(IQ 74), cerebral palsy, speech and mixed language disorder, and other conditions.

Special interests restricted. Horror Movies(also hyperfixate between Chucky and Texas Chainsaw Massacre) Spooky month web series, animals, collecting antique and vintage dolls, spinning fans, and stuffed animals are special interests.

Hyperfixations I have(not all at once): The Amazing Digital Circus, I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream, Chucky, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, baby alive dolls, Barney and Friends, vintage porcelain dolls, antique dolls, antique German bisque dolls, raggedy Ann and Andy dolls, vintage and antique toys. In my room I have quite the collection of antique and vintage dolls of all kinds.

Instagram is beththebird I post more there.

An angst Annie fanfic for @1-wonder-1’s SLH AU

TW for SIB

Annie was in the common area, watching full house with Ragatha. They held their monkey, squeezing it tightly as they cuddled with Ragatha.

It was a hot day, so fans were set up, as the AC wasn’t enough. Annie and Ragatha both had heat intolerance. Ragatha due to her POTS, and Annie due to their medication.

Zooble had made sure to attach the strap to Annie’s ribcap helment, do they couldn’t pull it off if they were to become overstimulated. They had already had some biting that day, so it was for the best they had their safety gear on—their cap, their bite sleeves, and their knee pads—despite how they added heat.

Suddenly, the fans turned off. It was silent for a moment, before Ragatha began to wave hand infront of her face.

“Gee…why did they turn off?” Ragatha hummed, standing up. Annie gently grabbed her hand, lowering her back to sitting.

“You might faint.” Annie spoke out.

“I’ll be okay, it’s okay, let me just get Zooble.” Ragatha replied, but Annie stood up and quickly got her wheelchair.

“I can bring you to them.” Annie replied, so, Ragatha lowered into her wheelchair. Annie wheeled her over to Zooble’s desk.

“Hey, Zooble, why did the fans turn off?”

“Huh?” Zooble tilted to the side, looking over to the fans.

They got up from their desk, walking over to the fans. They tested them, pressing the on and off buttons.

“Well, they aren’t unplugged—Raggy, you okay?”

Ragatha was breathing a bit heavily, flapping her hands.

“Hey, hey, I know it’s hot, I know. I’ll ask Caine, hold on.” Zooble began to walk over to Jax’s room, where Caine was.

They opened the door, peeking their head in.

“Hey Caine, the fans aren’t working, can you fix them? The heat isn’t good for Ragatha or Annie.”

But, Caine wasn’t there. They could hear the water running, though.

They heard the sound of scrubbing; Caine must’ve been giving Jax a bath.

Zooble threw their hands up, grumbling and storming out the room. What were they going to do? What if Annie had a meltdown? What if Ragatha did too? They couldn’t keep them both safe?!

Zooble took a deep breath, and walked over to Kingers office quickly. What if Annie and Ragsths were already melting down?

“Kinger? Can you come out into the common area and help me with Annie and Ragatha. The fans stopped working and..uhm…I need an extra set of hands. Just incase.”

Kinger was sitting at his desk, the lights were dimmed, and he was writing something down.

“Oh, yeah, sure.” Kinger stood up, about to walk out the room.

Zooble opened the door, and he flinched a little. Must have been bright for him.

Luckily, Annie and Ragatha were keeping calmer than they thought. Annie had wheeled her over to the AC, and they themselves were pacing about. Unluckily, they were slamming their fist agaisnt the side of their head.

“Hey, hey, hey. Annie, please stop.” Zooble took Annies monkey and tried to have them hold it. Annie screamed, throwing their plush down.

Zooble decided to stay silent, knowing that quiet is better for them. They gently grabbed their hands, but, Annie fought back violently. Being restrained at the same time as being already overwhelmed was way too much for them.

“Kinger, help me get them to the sensory room.” Zooble gritted slightly. Kinger snapped out of his trance, gently taking Annie’s left arm. Zooble took their right arm.

“No, no, no, no!” Annie sobbed, Kinger had a worried look on his face.

“It’s alright, Annie. We’re just bringing you to the sensory room.” Kinger hummed, but Annie thrashed around anyways.

“Wait—Kinger!” Zooble clenched their non-existent teeth.

Kinger had already taken both of Annie hands, lowering them to the floor and hugging them tightly. He wrapped his arms around their torso and arms, holding them against his chest.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Kinger whispered, rocking Annie in his arms.

Zooble was a bit frozen, watching. Kinger was acting, normally? Usually they noticed that he seemed out of it and irrational in the light, but calm in the dark. It was still bright in the common area, though.

Annie was still squirming around, but Kinger kept a firm grip on them. Eventually, they did calm down; sinking into his arms.

They began to blabber incoherently, sobs pouring out. Kinger placed their face agaisnt his chest, soothing them but still allowing them to get it all out.

“You ready to get up, Annie?” Kinger asked quietly, Annie held their head up.

“Oh €£$&!” Zooble swore, “Sorry, slipped out.”

Annie’s jaw had visibly shifted to the left, and their pupils were huge.

“Oh, gosh, that doesn’t look good.” Kinger exclaimed, bringing Annie to their feet.

“I’ll get Caine.” Zooble added, quickly making their way down the patient hallway.

An Annie angst fanfic for @1-wonder-1’s SLH AU

CW for restraint and a little SIB

“Annie, come on, you have to go to therapy with Dr. Moon.”

That Wednesday, after breakfast and medication, Annie had been dreading ABA.

“She took my monkey.”

Zooble sighed, rubbing between their eyes where their nose bridge would be.

“I’m not fighting you on this. You either come with me, or Dr. Moon will come and get you.”

Annie stiffened a bit at the last sentence, squeezing their monkey tighter.

They then began to follow Zooble to the psychiatric unit, where Dr. Moon’s office was.

Zooble opened the door, and Annie reluctantly went in.

“Hello, Annie, how are you doing?” She asked calmly, going over to door and shutting it, but not before waving to Zooble.

“..tired.” They hummed. Per Dr. Abel’s prescription, Ativan was given to Annie during breakfast, along with lunch and dinner. It often kicked in quick, leaving the rag doll calmer.

“How about you try a couple things on for me, alright?” Dr. Moon took Annie’s hand and led them to her desk.

On the table, there was a pair of long fingerless gloves, knee pads, and a cap with a strap on it.

“Can you hold out your arms, please?”

Annie stood still, but put their monkey down on the table and held their arms out. Dr. Moon slipped the sleeves over Annie’s arms. Then she removed Annie’s shoes and AFO brace and pulled the knee pads on them.

“What are these?” They asked, Dr. Moon put their shoes and AFO back on. She picked up the cap and placed it on Annie’s head, strapping the straps under their chin.

”Its protective gear, so you don’t have to be held if and when you bite or hit.”

“Oh.” Annie hummed, picking their monkey back up and sitting down at the table.

“Today, we’re going to practice some calming down skills, okay?”

Annie just replied with a small ‘okay’, resting their hand on their palm.

”Good, good, now.” Dr. Moon cleared her throat.

“First, when you feel like you need to bite or punch, you can ask a staff member—like Caine or Zooble—to help you get a chew necklace, or a weighted blanket, or a fidget. Okay? You can also put your hands together and squeeze them.”

Dr. Moon modeled putting her hands together, interlocking her fingers. Then she took Annie’s hands and showed them how to do it.

“Hands together.” She states, trying to get the teen to understand to do this or to do it when someone says this. As ‘safe hands’ was too vague for Annie.

“Hands together.” Annie repeated, Dr. Moon patted them, “Good.”

Dr. Moon handed Annie a laminated visual sheet with what she had just explained. It had both words and pictures describing what do when Annie was feeling understimulated or overstimulated.

Visuals were helpful for Annie, so Dr. Moon making them made the instructions easier to understand.

“Okay, Annie, we’re going to do something else. We’re going to try your conversation skills. Alright?”

Annie nodded, and Dr. Moon spoke a bit gentler.

“Now, I want you to say ‘okay’ or ‘yes’, or anything that lets me know you heard me. I want you to use your voice.”

Annie looked away, but looked back and replied with “okay.”

“Good job, okay, now,” Dr. Moon adjusted her glasses.

“I want you to tell me how you feel about…monkeys.” She tapped Annie’s monkey plush on the head.

The teen smiled a bit, and placed their monkey in their lap.

“Monkeys! I like monkeys. Did you know that the biggest monkey is the Mandril? It is 3ft tall! And the smallest monkey, the Pygmy Marmoset, can fit in the palm of a hand. Also did you know that monkeys are only considered monkeys if they have tails, of course, not including lemurs; but chimpanzees, orangutans, and chimpanzees aren’t monkeys—“

Dr. Moon placed a palm out onto Annie’s hand.

“Annie, that’s not a conversation. A conversation is back and forth. Like me asking questions or making remarks, along with you talking.”

Annie furrowed their brows, feeling shameful and a bit frustrated.

They were obviously getting a bit antsy, and they began to put their hands together and squeeze them like how Dr. Moon showed them. This signaled to the psychologist that they were about to engage in SIB.

“Okay, okay, we can take a break.” Dr. Moon began to guide Annie to the floor, as this was safer than the table. She switched the lights off and walked back over to Annie; who had already stood up and was clenching their fists.

“Annie, please sit back down—No, no no no. Hands together.” Dr. Moon had attempted to lower the rag doll back down to the floor, only to be met with swatting from them.

Dr. Moon began to distance herself from them, keeping the situation from escalating.

Annie didn’t actively try and hit her on purpose, so no one was getting hurt. That’s all that mattered.

Annie continued to pace back and forth, obviously frustrated with themselves and everything.

Eventually, Annie was extremely tuckered out. They plopped on the floor, signing ‘sorry’ by turning their fist in a circle on their chest.

“I forgive you, but it’s not okay what you did, and you absolutely cannot hit me.” Dr. Moon said calmly, coming over to Annie and placing her hands on their shoulders to keep them down and sitting.

“For your safety and mine, you’re going to keep sitting here until you calm down. Understood?”

Annie shrugged their shoulders to try and get her hands off, but she didn’t budge. Keeping her stance kneeled down.

Annie groaned, beginning to kick the floor a little. The psychologist remained silent, beginning to lower herself to the floor.

Annie began to wriggle around, trying to push her away; But not necessarily hurt her.

“Let me go!” Annie cried, making Dr. Moon hesitate, but continue with trying to get them to stay in place.

Annie slammed their palm against the side of their head, luckily, their hat protected them.

Suddenly, Annie landed a couple swift kicks in her stomach. Okay, definitely escalating.

Dr. Moon, not wanting to risk Annie headbutting her if she decided to do a sitting basket hold; lowered them to be laying face up on the floor, and held their torso between her knees; not putting any weight on them, though.

It was one of the more restrictive techniques. The only reason Dr. Moon didn’t do something less restrictive is because Annie had already become too overwhelmed and could not calm down on their own from this or be redirected.

The teen began to try and pull Dr. Moon off of them quite aggressively. Tugging roughly at her white coat with anger. This only resulted in their hands being held down.

“Annie, take a deep breath. I’ll let you go in a moment.” She spoke calmly, gently, even though she was being a bit rough with the rag doll.

Unfortunately for Dr. Moon, Annie was not calming down, if anything they were getting more aggravated.

“Shhh…shhhh….” Dr. Moon soothed, trying to provide some calm in the hectic moment.

Eventually, Annie stopped fighting, only crying now. Dr. Moon got off of them, allowing them to sit up.

“I hate you.” Annie mumbled. They never said they hated anyone, and Dr. Moon of anyone? Of course, she stayed calm, not reacting to the comment.

Dr. Moon stood up, reaching for her radio and speaking into it.

“Zooble, I’ve decided to cut the session short. Annie got a bit aggressive, and I think it would be best if they took a break in their room.”

“Okay, thank you.”

Within a couple minutes, Zooble came in, and saw Annie on the floor. They had a pissed off look on their face and was hugging their stuffed monkey.

“Hey, come on, let’s go to your room.” Zooble persuaded, beckoning Annie up by waving their hand.

Annie glared at them, but stood up. They followed Zooble out the room.

Zooble remained silent as they led Annie towards the hallway where the patients rooms were. They opened their door, and slightly nudged the rag doll in.

It was surprising what Zooble heard on the phone: Annie being aggressive towards staff? They were usually only this way towards themselves. And towards Dr. Moon of all people?

“Sit down, we need to talk.” Zooble said, trying to be as calm and casual as possible.

Annie sneered a bit, but sat in the bed anyways.

“Hey, look at me. I understand you were frustrated. But that’s not an excuse to hit or kick anyone. There are still consequences to your actions.”

Annie loosened their shoulders, what they did sinking in.

“Now, you’re going to stay in here and think about what you did. I’m not mad at you, but you need to understand that what you did is not okay.” Zooble kept that gentle tone, but, god, they sounded like Caine.