Naomi Kritzer

“I don’t put politics in my stories” is the literary equivalent of a cishet guy going “I don’t have pronouns”

happy first day of pride everyone

Squatters' rights apply to grandmas. If someone's not visiting and looking after their grandma, but you will, after a set amount of time once you've settled in, that's your grandma now.

That is in fact part of the story in THE MIDNIGHT SHIFT by Seon-Ran Cheon.

its so weird to me that cis people will dislike their name so ardently and yet. not change it. you guys know that’s an option, right. no one can make you keep the shit name your mom gave you. no, not even her.

I feel like not enough people realize how many boomer women did change their first names when they got married, because they were changing their name anyways. My mother in law changed her spelling. My mom made going by her middle name official. This has actually been normal for decades but it was sometimes obscured by other processes.

Happy Smallpox Eradication Day

So ,I’m a music teacher and every year we have what are called “walk through observations”. Basically, this means that 4 times a year the principal or vice principal comes into my class to assess my teaching. Fine. Sure. No problem. Well, today I was doing an activity with my 1st graders called “Musical Groceries”. Basically, they make up a fake shopping list and then together we figure out what the rhythm of the words on the list is. To do that, a small group of students plays the beat on the conga drum while the rest of the students move around the room while chanting the word. It sounds weird but it’s a great way for the kids to figure out the relationship between syllables and rhythm. They quickly get bored of walking the rhythm so I let them come up with their own ways of moving around the room.( skipping, hopping, etc) One student suggested they hop around the room like frogs, way down low to the ground. Okay fine. Or it was fine until my vice principal walked in to do my observation only to find 20 seven year olds hopping around the room like a hoard of little hob-goblins, rhythmically chanting “BREAD! BREAD! BREAD!” while five other kids played ominous beats in a drum circle. I have never seen anyone look so confused in my life and I really don’t want to know the rating I got on my observation.

I don't know which of you needs to hear this but "narc" is not short for "narcissist" when someone calls you a "narc" for snitching they are calling you a "narcotics officer"

technically narc isnt even short for narcotics officer its just cant for Cop, I believe Roma in origin

I read years ago in a book that it was derived from nakk, Romani for nose, as in someone who always has their nose in other people's business

ITS DERIVED FROM "NARCO" AS IN "NARCOTICS" WHAT FUCKING BOOK

Etymology is always doing some shit like this

Convergent evolution.

Linguistic crab

Two entire linguistic traditions have merged to remind you not to be a fuckin narc

metro transit fact: the wheels on the bus go round and round

Okay, I have to admit: I have never considered the gender of individual body parts and you know, my teeth might be nonbinary and my feet are definitely masc-presenting. My pronouns are she/her, though.

Ok so like in a heist movie, Murderbot is in the femme fatale dress but for bots and systems. I mean how much of its hacking is literally just going up to systems and saying "hey don't worry about it, kitten, I totally already work here :)"

This man took so much longer to crack than I would have what a PROFESSIONAL

This was filmed at the Sheldrick Wildlife Trust, which rescues, rehabilitates, and releases orphaned elephants in Kenya (among other conservation efforts). Charity Navigator has given it a 4/4 star rating, and you can make donations here or “adopt” a baby elephant here.

That man held it in until he knew for a fact that they’d need another take anyway, and not a moment less.

I have this saved on instagram and watch it whenever i need a pick-me-up

GOTCHER NOSE! Your teeny tiny pathetic little human nose IS NOW MINE. --the elephant

I hate that SEPTember OCTOber NOVember and DECember aren’t the 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th months.

Whoever fucked this up should be stabbed

Today’s your lucky day

Well then.

as a former escape room host i highly recommend doing an escape room as a first date. its a great way to learn how ppl react under pressure and how well they collaborate with you right off the bat. also more than once ive seen people enter an escape room as a couple and exit broken up LOL its a fantastic litmus test

An experiment with a clear negative outcome is still a successful experiment.

OK, but also, I have heard a story of a guy who went to an Escape Room, learned all the secrets, tipped well, and takes all his dates to *that* *specific* Escape Room. Without telling them he's done it before (many, many times).

Why parents have a strange need to hold our phone when we show them some pictures?

I showed this post to my mum and she grabbed my phone to read it and just stood there defeated

OK look, here's the thing, I'm 52 and my eyes are shit. I have the fancy progressive-lens glasses and they let me be Basically Functional but if I want to look at something small, I often have to flip my glasses up and then close one eye and hold the thing a precise distance away in order to see the detail or read any of the words. Even if I *don't* have to move my glasses out of the way to see it, I often need to hold it a very precise distance away, at the right angle so I don't get any reflection. "Holding your phone to see your pictures" is an accessibility practice, I'm not just trying to be nosy!