Fear of Submission: Ruining Relationships for Centuries
In today’s culture, submission is often viewed as a form of weakness or oppression. Yet, when we study the heart of submission through a biblical lens, we discover that it is not about losing power but about gaining harmony. Submission, partnered with humility, is a cornerstone of healthy relationships—whether in marriage, friendships, or everyday interactions.
The fear of submission often stems from pride and a desire for control. Society teaches us to “put ourselves first,” to fight for our rights, and to never appear vulnerable. While there is a time and place for self-advocacy, the mindset of constant self-focus can breed division. When people refuse to yield to one another out of love and respect, relationships begin to fracture.
In marriage, submission is not one-sided; it’s mutual. Ephesians 5:21 instructs couples to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” This means putting aside selfish desires to serve and honor one another. Husbands are called to lead with sacrificial love, as Christ loves the church, and wives are called to support and respect their husbands. This divine design isn’t about dominance or inferiority but about creating a partnership where both spouses thrive.
However, fear of being “less than” often leads to power struggles. When one or both partners refuse to submit, the marriage becomes a battleground of egos rather than a haven of love and peace. True humility allows both spouses to see submission as a strength that builds trust and unity.
Submission in Friendships
Friendships flourish when humility reigns. When friends are unwilling to compromise or apologize, small disagreements can fester into major rifts. Philippians 2:3-4 reminds us, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
When we practice submission in friendships, we choose to listen, to serve, and to prioritize the other person’s well-being. Friendships rooted in mutual submission grow deeper because they reflect Christlike love and patience.
Humility is the antidote to the fear of submission. When we let go of pride and embrace a spirit of servanthood, we create relationships that reflect God’s grace. Harmony comes when people stop striving for dominance and instead work together as equals, honoring each other’s strengths and lifting one another up in weaknesses.
By choosing submission and humility, we experience:
1. Deeper Trust – Knowing someone is willing to lay down their own desires for you builds confidence.
2. Stronger Bonds – Mutual submission fosters teamwork and shared purpose.
3. Lasting Peace – Humility diffuses tension and promotes reconciliation.
The fear of submission has sown seeds of disharmony in relationships for centuries. But God calls us to a higher way of living, one that embraces humility and submission as tools for unity, not oppression. By submitting to one another in love, we mirror Christ’s sacrifice and create relationships that glorify God.
Let us not fear submission, but rather see it as an opportunity to reflect the selfless love of Jesus in every relationship. Only then can we break the chains of pride and walk in the freedom of harmony.
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