A New Me

intertwine your fingers with mine and tell me it’ll be okay

Excuse me heroin addicted teenage Walmart employee can you unlock the cabinet full of things to put up my ass please

Yeah I was hoping to need to have it rescanned by one of your other employees at the self checkout as well as having it visually inspected by the elderly receipt cop as well

one of my favorite hobbies is not being a parent

If you ever have imposter syndrome, just listen to Luke Bryan’s new song, remind yourself that you can’t possibly be that bad, then get out of bed, dust yourself off, and climb tree

I just saw somebody describe it as “Brocomelon” and I will now be adding that term to my daily lexicon in an INCREDIBLY ungodly amount